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I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
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2015-09-17 at 7:47 PM UTCI called in at fucking 7am in the morning because these niggers are east coast bitches and I normally wake up at 10. Like any sane person I woke up with a gin and tonic and have been pretty much continuously alternating between rolling my eyes and drinking since then. My boss just asked me a question and I had to make a concerted effort not to slur. I don't know if I like this or not. On the plus side I get paid to be drunk, on the down side I need to listen to people blather on and on for hours. Half tempted to masturbate on-call for kicks but I'm not quite far enough into "fuck it" mode to do it.
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2015-09-17 at 8:11 PM UTCLiving the life.
You need opioids, then you'll be completed. -
2015-09-17 at 8:20 PM UTC
Living the life.
You need opioids, then you'll be completed.
It's soooo good to hear it. For once we fully agree on something,
You said you ordered some sort of opiate recently, right? Shipping from China, delayed. Did you get it? -
2015-09-17 at 8:33 PM UTCI doubt it's going to come through at this point. Agora is still down and I don't know if it will reopen. I lose what little interest I had in things so easily, it really doesn't matter, but I don't know if I care enough to try something else. Maybe an RC opioid, or whatever has the best mood enhancing/antidepressant effect.
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2015-09-17 at 8:46 PM UTC
I doubt it's going to come through at this point. Agora is still down and I don't know if it will reopen. I lose what little interest I had in things so easily, it really doesn't matter, but I don't know if I care enough to try something else. Maybe an RC opioid, or whatever has the best mood enhancing/antidepressant effect.
Give it a go, I love when you guinea pig for me.
Hour 7 of the meeting. -
2015-09-17 at 8:59 PM UTCLanny you are a fucking baller.
Now whip oucha cock and start fapping nigga to reach super baller status. -
2015-09-17 at 9:14 PM UTCI manipulate you into guine pigging things for me.
Lanny, fuck it, let's just give in and buy heroin off the darknet. There are some surprisingly good deals. Do a grams search and look at the selection. We may as well stop wasting time with the lower levels and head straight for the top, the most elite experiences the world has to offer.
If you're too much of a dandy to do it yourself, imagine the amusement of meeting up to have me drop off the beginning of your end. I could wear a burka to hide my identity. -
2015-09-17 at 10:22 PM UTCOh, Lanny, we could get 2 grams of mediocre quality #3 Afghan for only $80 from Italy on Abraxas! FE doesn't seem to be required and the vendor seems to have a long history, many sales, and a good reputation.
Now, I know you must be thinking, "It's too good to be true.", but even if it doesn't show we could stand to lose the money, and if it does, imagine the looks in our eyes, lighting up like children on a good Christmas. We could vaporize ourselves into nirvana. It would give us so much pleasure for the price, and last so long with our lack of tolerance and sporadic use (cross your fingers). We could finally know what true euphoria, inner peace, contentedness, and joy is, hear the siren song that has led so many famous figures to their doom, caused them to fight past hell to maintain their addiction, to get that next high, continue abating the pain of existential despair. If so many high ranking people, people with so much experience in the world and fulfilled lives, would abandon everything for it, imagine how good it must be.
Damn, $40/g black tar straight from the source in Mexico, and he ships everywhere except the US. I bet I could convince him, ask him if he uses moisture barrier bags, talk businesses strategy and the enormous market and potential for growth. There are probably a ton of letters sent from Mexico to California and other border states, this could be made to slip by. -
2015-09-17 at 10:28 PM UTCYou should definitely meet up in burkas and shoot up darknet heroin. Malice, you're something else. Haha. Awesome.
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2015-09-17 at 11:34 PM UTCNice one blood, just be sure not to pass out. Also, you're probably on your way to becoming an alcoholic, and if there's one drug that's gay to be addicted to it's alcohol.
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2015-09-18 at 12:47 AM UTCalcohol is alright, I sometimes miss that feeling of coming home after a long day and taking that first sip of booze, that feeling where you just can't stop at one, how the second drink begins to loosen you up, and that feeling after you have exceeded your limit and you stand up and that feeling of exaggerated clumsiness when you try to step
I remember reading something about why jim morrison of the doors eventually preferred alcohol over LSD or mescaline; he said something like 'Once you take a hit of acid, you're in for the ride, there is no going back, the initial dose determines the effect and that is that, but with alcohol, you can take it slowly, drink by drink, to get exactly where you wanna be.
If I wasn't so enamored with opiates/opioids, I would be drinking daily
probably my usual 100 proof hot damn or some good rum.
but I find that alcohol rudely spoils the subtlety of opiates
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2015-09-18 at 9:22 AM UTC
Once you take a hit of acid, you're in for the ride, there is no going back, the initial dose determines the effect and that is that
That's not true, a benzo or related drug (etizolam) can quickly stop a trip with the right dose, or at least eliminate most of the anxiety and other negative aspects. It can also be heavily effected by state of mind, experience, and resistance, not just dose; Stanislav Grof detailed this, writing about one case in particular that occurred in a clinical setting where one patient repeatedly showed incredible resistance to a very high IM dose, experiencing almost no effects, he also explained the psychological factors he had found to correlate with this type of reaction, until multiple sessions broke down his resistance and he finally began to experience regression. -
2015-09-18 at 4:59 PM UTCwhy are you overanalyzing my paraphrased jim morrison reference....
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2015-09-18 at 5:03 PM UTCAutism.
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2015-09-18 at 5:16 PM UTCdo you have any sort of link to that Grof case you mentioned? I am intrigued
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2015-09-18 at 5:32 PM UTCI'll copy paste it for you. It's in LSD: Doorway to the Numinous
As unpredictable as the content of the LSD reaction is its intensity; the individual responses to the same dosage level vary considerably. My experience indicates that the degree of sensitivity or resistance to LSD depends on complicated psychological factors rather than on variables of a constitutional, biological, or metabolic nature. Subjects who in everyday life have the need to maintain full self-control and have difficulties in relaxing and “letting go†can sometimes resist relatively high dosages of LSD (300 to 500 micrograms) and show no detectable changes. Occasionally, a person can resist a considerable dose of LSD if he has set this as a personal task for himself for any reason. He may decide to do this to defy the therapist and compete with him, to demonstrate his “strength†to himself and to others, to endure more than his fellow patients, or for many other reasons. Usually, however, more relevant unconscious motives can be found underlying such superficial rationalizations.
Another cause for a high resistance to the effect of the drug may be insufficient preparation, instruction, and reassurance of the subject, a lack of his full agreement and cooperation, or absence of basic trust in the therapeutic relationship. In this case, the LSD reaction sometimes does not take its full course until the motives of resistance are analyzed and understood. Occasional sudden sobering, which can occur at any period of the session and on any dosage level, can be understood as a sudden mobilization of defenses against the emergence of unpleasant traumatic material. Among psychiatric patients, severe obsessive-compulsive neurotics are particularly resistant to the effect of LSD. It has been a common observation in my research that such patients can resist dosages of more than 500 micrograms of LSD and show only slight signs of physical or psychological distress. In extreme cases, it can take several dozen high-dose LSD sessions before the psychological resistances of these individuals are reduced to the point that they start having episodes of regression to childhood and become aware of the unconscious material that has to be worked through. The excessive resistance of obsessive-compulsive patients can be illustrated by the following clinical example.
Erwin, a twenty-two-year-old student, was referred to the LSD treatment program after four years of unsuccessful therapy for a severe obsessive-compulsive neurosis. Over the years, he had developed a very complicated system of obsessive thoughts and became so preoccupied with it that it paralyzed all his other activities. He was compelled to imagine in his mind’s eye a geometrical structure with two coordinate axes and locate within this system all the problems and duties he encountered in his everyday life. At times he spent many hours desperately trying to find the proper location for some aspect of his existence, but always without success. Before admission, he felt that the center of gravity of his imaginary coordinate system was shifting to the left; this upset him enormously and resulted in feelings of tension, apprehension, anxiety, insecurity, and depression. In addition, Erwin suffered from various psychosomatic symptoms and tended to interpret them in a hypochondriacal way. He was referred for psycholytic therapy after several hospitalizations and unsuccessful treatment with tranquillizers, antidepressants, and drug-free psychotherapy. Erwin manifested a rather spectacular resistance to the effect of LSD. After psychological preparation of two weeks’ duration, he started having regular LSD sessions in weekly intervals. The initial dose of 100 micrograms was increased by fifty to one hundred micrograms every week, since he barely showed any response. Finally, he was given 1500 micrograms intramuscularly, with the hope that this would overcome his resistance. Between the second and third hour of the session, when the effect of LSD usually culminates, Erwin felt bored and a little hungry; according to his description as well as external manifestations, nothing unusual was happening. He seemed to be so well composed and in such full control that he was allowed to go with the therapist to a kitchenette on the ward, cut a piece of bread with a knife, open a can of liver paste, and have a snack. After he was finished, he wanted to go to the social room in the ward and play chess, because he felt he needed some distraction from the uneventful and monotonous therapeutic experiment.
It took thirty-eight high-dose sessions before Erwin’s defense system was reduced to the point that he started regressing into childhood and reliving traumatic experiences.
It became obvious after this and similar observations that high psychological resistance to LSD cannot be broken merely by an increase in dosage and that it has to be gradually alleviated by a series of sessions. It seems that there exists a saturation point for LSD somewhere between 400 and 500 micrograms; if the subject does not respond adequately to this dosage, additional LSD will not change anything in the situation. -
2015-09-18 at 6:31 PM UTCI would have liked to see some of the subjects physiological responses to the high doses, I am not convinced by simply relying on his subjective self-reporting.
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2015-09-18 at 6:37 PM UTCHey, wait, is Lanny still stuck in this call? If so he's gotta be absolutely shit faced by now.
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2015-09-18 at 6:48 PM UTC
I would have liked to see some of the subjects physiological responses to the high doses, I am not convinced by simply relying on his subjective self-reporting.
Ah, he mentioned that right before this:
The search for the typical, mandatory pharmacological effects of LSD was an important aspect of my analytical work on the LSD data. The result of this quest was rather surprising; after analyzing over thirty-eight hundred records from LSD sessions, I have not found a single symptom that would be an absolutely constant component in all of them and could thus be considered truly invariant. Changes of optical perception are usually presented as a typical manifestation of the LSD state and thus were a serious candidate for pharmacological invariants. Although they occurred rather frequently in our records, there were a number of high-dose sessions where alterations in the optical realm were not present at all even though, in some of these sessions, the dosage amounted to 500 micrograms. Several of the LSD reactions without any visual phenomena had the form of intense sexual experiences; others were characterized by massive somatization manifested in various parts of the body, by feelings of general malaise and physical illness, or by experiences of excruciating pain. Special examples of sessions without optical perceptual changes were observed in advanced stages of psycholytic treatment and in some psychedelic sessions. These involved either a brutal and primitive biological experiential complex described by various subjects as reliving of their own birth or transcendental experiences with a paradoxical quality of being “contentless yet all-containing.â€
Physical manifestations of the LSD state deserve special notice in this context, since, in the early reports, they were considered simple pharmacological effects and a result of direct chemical activation of the vegetative centers in the brain. Careful observations of a large number of sessions and analysis of the records did not support this explanation. The spectrum of the so-called vegetative symptoms is very broad and exceeds that of any known drug with the exception of some other psychedelics. Strangely enough, these symptoms include both sympathetic and parasympathetic phenomena, and they appear in clusters involving various combinations thereof. The physical concomitants of the LSD reaction vary considerably from session to session. They are practically independent of the dosage used, and there is no demonstrable dose-effect relationship. In many high-dose LSD sessions, physical manifestations were entirely absent, or they occurred intermittently and in close association with difficult and strongly defended unconscious material. Another aspect of these symptoms that could be mentioned here is their unusual sensitivity to various psychological factors; they can often be modified or even terminated by various external influences and specific psychotherapeutic interventions.
One of the physical manifestations of the LSD reaction deserves special emphasis—namely, dilation of the pupils (mydriasis). It is so common that its presence has been used by many experimenters and therapists as a reliable indicator that the person is still under the influence of the drug. For a long time, mydriasis was also a serious candidate for an invariant manifestation of the LSD effect in my investigations. Later, I witnessed several LSD sessions, some of them very dramatic, in which the pupils of the subject appeared constricted, or in which they oscillated rapidly between extreme dilation and constriction. A situation similar to that of the vegetative symptoms existed in the area of gross physical manifestations, such as muscular tonus, tremors, twitches, seizure-like activities, and various twisting movements. None of these symptoms was standard and predictable enough to be considered a specific pharmacological effect of LSD. This does not mean that LSD per se does not have any specific physiological effects; these can be clearly demonstrated in animal experiments, which use incomparably higher dosages. My experience, however, indicates that, within the range of doses commonly used in human experiments or in psychotherapeutic practice, physical manifestations are not the result of a direct pharmacological stimulation of the central nervous system. They seem to reflect chemical activation of psychodynamic matrices in the unconscious and have a structure similar to those of hysterical conversions, organ-neurotic phenomena, or symptoms of psychosomatic disorders. -
2015-09-18 at 6:48 PM UTC
Hey, wait, is Lanny still stuck in this call? If so he's gotta be absolutely shit faced by now.
Lol no, it ended in the 8th hour. Got to enjoy waking up at 6 again this morning as well for another, although this one only went for 5 hours. Fun stuff. Wonder what tripping on a business call would be like.
