Accidentally brought a meth pipe to work

1. 2017-05-16 at 1:57 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   My mother and I were arguing this morning about the current age of humanity and my purpose in the universe and relationship with God while she berated my drug use. Somehow during my sleep deprived paranoia I slipped the jimmy (meth pipe) in my work bag
   
   I noticed it just now while eating my breakfast lol. There are cameras EVERYWHERE and I am surrounded by $50k a year rattoxes at the end of their roads.
   
   I hid the contraband in a bag of candy, I need to hide it further because they do a bag check at the door.
   
   Also I got randomly searched coming in but I didnt know I had the pipe lolololol.
2. 2017-05-16 at 2:06 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   where the fuck do you work that you get randomly searched?
3. 2017-05-16 at 4:22 PM UTC

   #3
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by greenplastic where the fuck do you work that you get randomly searched?

   
   I work for a multinational billion dollar corporation one of the biggest in North America
   
   There is loss prevention at the front, body scanners. We have to take active mass shooter training, security does walk arounds daily.
   
   All backpacks and lunch bags are checked coming in and out and everything requires keycard access even going outside to smoke.
4. 2017-05-16 at 6:02 PM UTC

   #4
   

   snab_snib African Astronaut
   why write jimmy if you're just going to have to parenthetically cite the name anyways?
5. 2017-05-16 at 6:03 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by greenplastic where the fuck do you work that you get randomly searched?

   
   He's in a psychiatric ward, they're trying to cure him of his delusions
6. 2017-05-16 at 6:04 PM UTC

   #6
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by snab_snib why write jimmy if you're just going to have to parenthetically cite the name anyways?

   
   This is something I've never particularly understood why people do
7. 2017-05-16 at 6:44 PM UTC

   #7
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Because its the dawn of a new age and we no longer call it a glass dick.
8. 2017-05-16 at 6:54 PM UTC

   #8
   

   snab_snib African Astronaut
   'meth pipe' is timeless
9. 2017-05-16 at 6:59 PM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Pookie
10. 2017-05-16 at 7:06 PM UTC

    #10
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Around here we call a tech pipe a snib snab.
11. 2017-05-16 at 7:13 PM UTC

    #11
    

    snab_snib African Astronaut
    good thing you don't call it a snab snib, that'd piss me off
12. 2017-05-17 at 12:03 AM UTC

    #12
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump I work for a multinational billion dollar corporation one of the biggest in North America
    
    There is loss prevention at the front, body scanners. We have to take active mass shooter training, security does walk arounds daily.
    
    All backpacks and lunch bags are checked coming in and out and everything requires keycard access even going outside to smoke.

    
    they do all that but not drug testing?
13. 2017-05-17 at 12:08 AM UTC

    #13
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by greenplastic they do all that but not drug testing?

    
    The company is pants on head retardation that's why I love my job, I am attracted to dysfunction and Chaos.
    
    My co workers hate my boss so much because she is is next level like me.
    
    I dont even think Linda cares if I do meth I work circles around all these faggots and show up every day, I am a star.
14. 2017-05-17 at 12:17 AM UTC

    #14
    

    plumpkatt1 Yung Blood
    I have done the same with a stem n syringe.
15. 2017-05-17 at 12:21 AM UTC

    #15
    

    bling bling Dark Matter
    leave it in the toilats
16. 2017-05-17 at 12:22 AM UTC

    #16
    

    bling bling Dark Matter
    and tie a pice of string on it that goes taped to the wall so everone can hit it an noone steal it
17. 2017-05-17 at 1:32 AM UTC

    #17
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Originally posted by bling bling leave it in the toilats

    
    LOL we have the worst bathrooms, my company is fucked.
    
    

    Originally posted by bling bling and tie a pice of string on it that goes taped to the wall so everone can hit it an noone steal it

    
    There is a thing in one of the bathroom stalls that comes down like a mini changing table. I think I can hack reality and turn it into a drug snorting tray connected to the wall.
    
    wdf l;ol
    
    Post last edited by SCronaldo_J_Trump at 2017-05-17T01:34:07.665797+00:00
18. 2017-05-17 at 2:02 AM UTC

    #18
    

    bling bling Dark Matter
    u have to leav the bowl packed or
19. 2017-05-17 at 2:08 AM UTC

    #19
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Like when i go home i had to tke a mssive shit rite? s I loads up the tek pip on the llooo owith my last big shard from my smallest baggie and smoke a fat hitt on the tiolet.
    
    I dunno whats leftright now but if I smoked it clean will be surprised... and then there is ALWAYS the stem.
20. 2017-05-17 at 2:08 AM UTC

    #20
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    melt it down. go for a walk lololololooollolooloooooollll stem hits are impossible in any wind, even an open window willl interfere