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I've had the most exciting five days of my life.

  1. #1
    Bradley Florida Man
    Folks at one point my boy trayvon martin sent me 100$ for a prostitute and a motel room. So the whole time I've been in Miami they said "Don't go to Overtown, you'll end up undertown" it's like only blacks right, so on Thursday, I was evicted.

    I attempted to fight the eviction from the sober living week to week rental I had been staying in for half a year (They asked me to tak ea piss test and I did and failed for weed they thought I was really stoned (I was).

    so the owner said I have to go to the Hospital's ER, tell them I used drugs, and I cannot come back without a "clearance"

    This *kinda* makes sense if someone's shooting up drugs, like really ggoing super hard on the hard drugs, or so wasted they can't stand up.

    I planned on getting away with everything and blew a .11 (I made it 56 days without drinking yall!!!)

    So I wanted clarification on the ER thing "For staying there"

    I said "for some weed I smoked before class this morning in college?"

    "Yes."

    I said I will call the Emergency Room and ask them if I should come in there because my landlord wants me to get a clearance at 8pm on a thursday night due to the fact that I smoked weed about 9 hours before hand (I actually hit the vapes constantly)

    So he's all waiting for me to the call the ER and when I did, I never actually hit call, and after pretending to talk on the phone with him in the room, I just said out of no where "Ok, yeah, I'll tell him... did you hear what they said? They said you're a dumbfuck."

    I encouraged him to call back the ER and ask them himself. (LOL) so he tried to call 911

    turns out his "sober living house" i been at for like six months is under a "hotel license"

    Because I pay cash (like he requested) there's no record of me paying rent, so he kept next weeks rent and said I"m paid up till thursday so I had to leave immediately on thursday.

    Trayvon Martin earlier had grabbed my 'virtual' penis and told me "Bro you're so big and strong and doing good in pretend college, got a 4.0, and unlike RipTotse you can get a boner because you're not addicted to subuxone lol Yall know his girlfriend CHEATED on him, and he had told me he believes what I believe that if someone breaks loyalty in our relationship they aint worth shit.

    But then she said "Tony u can't get an erection because you're taking heroin still, just in pill form, where am I supposed to get some dick????"

    He said OK, they still together, he's still using metadone to stay "sober" lol

    so anyway, I walk to overtown, and I have 50$ on me, I decided all of my belongings (when I got here in august, I had nothing) aren't shit to me cuz I wasn't finna carry that shit.

    So I went to overtown and predictably, I asked old black guys that look like crackheads where I can find some ROCK and if they had a pipe and want to smoke. I made very clear, I"m not giving away cigarettes or beer, but they're welcome to hit the rock wit me.

    So I met 1 guy and this girl, I"m gonna skip over friday morning but basically this white girl is so fucking stupid and addicted to crack, I literally went to the gas station and asked for 20 ones and another pack of cigarettes, and everytime I'd ask to hit the pipe, I'd hand her a buck or two. To fill a crack pipe its like ten bucks. LOL

    so at some point, I'm really fuckin drunk and i'ts like 11am. In miami you can buy alcohol 24/7 if you're not near the beach, oh i gave that lady two beers too.
    so she's kinda retarded, and from Vermont, which I told her is the same thing as Wisocnsin, I noticed she had a lot of stretch marks (but wasn't fat) so when she was crying and holding the crack pipe (which she do a lot) I decided to get into her head.

    I asked where her kids at, she got two, anyway, at some point, she needs money, she got none, the old black guy I been kickin it with aint got none, and she asks me if I can get money out the atm.

    I ask her if she can suck dick.

    So she realized I wasn't going to stand up and go with her and 'get more' like if i wanted to get more, why wouldn't I just walk up to the dealer the old black guy and the white girl constnatly walk 1 block to go holler at. LOL right.

    So anyway, we got like 5 blacks, 1 white girl and ME Hanging out outside the gas station.

    And she asks me again (a common practice I really don't like) for money so we can smoke and I told her I'd rather get some head, she asks me to go get the money and give it to her, I laughed and pulled out the twenty dollar hollar and told her I will hand it to her when I cum (which is my only rule, I don't want to buy an hour, or pay for this service, it was my first time buying a prostitue and i had planned on it being a really really really fat black girl (like trayvon martins size with smaller boobs), so we go behind the gas station in a field at like 1pm (LOL) so I start kissing the nasty crackhead. I have 3 condoms in my wallet (because I knew I was finna do this shit) so she starts sucking me off, and she's going REALLY FUCKING FAST like I didn't like it at all and kept telling her to go slow. And I wasn't going to get hard and she asks me why I can't get hard (Cuz I'm high on crack, extremely drunk, sitting in the middle of a fucking field, and getting head as fast as this lady could bob up and down on my head while black people watch from like the alley)

    So you knwo what I told her, go fuckin slow and I really had to like help her understand what I meant. cuz it's pretty fuckin simple (IMO), I want the dick to go as far in your throat as I can, you dont gotta go up and down, I just want the throat for about a half hour.

    she couldn't understand this.

    So I said,


    "Lady I got 20 when I bust, I got 40 if you GO FUCKIN SLOWER, *manhandled her throat* OK?"

    and then she just kinda let me help her help myself (I have an erction while describing this)

    and a half hour is a long ass fucking time to be suckin a dick I"mma be real like I don't remember the last time I jerked off for more than 20. At one point I remember her telling me/asking me not to cum in her mouth.

    r people fuckin retarded? Like literally my favorite part is when they struggle on my fully hard cock and I just keeep trying to get my dick farther, cuz I told her hey if you take your pants off and put that booty in my face, I'll cum faster lookin at that ass

    I enjoy weaving my fingers together, and then using my hands to help them in a manner when they can't back up


    ya so when she slowed down and put her ass in my face and I told her I was finna double the money if she went slow.

    at one point, she started crying, I thought she was gagging and it kinda made me more excited, she was fr crying, i kinda felt bad

    So I ate the pussy. Why wouldn't I? I didn't eat her ass, but I did think about Wariat

    HOLLER WARIAT

    and i put four fingers in her ass, but wouldn't in her pussy, not sure why but that's what I wanted to do.

    LOL, so I never used a condom to get head, so i come in her throat, as soon as I let go (stopped ejaculating in the farthest back point of her throat and I have a large penis, no one has a mouth that's as long as a 20 ounce soda bottle, that's gotta be kinda like difficult.

    so when I ejaculated and kept getitng that last 20 or 30 thrusts while they're struggling with all of this dehydrated haven't jacked off in like two days (which means a big cummer), and lol

    she quickly climbs her knees forward and puts her pussy on my dick I honestly ddint' even think about it, so I started trying to pound it as hard as I could, Not sure how hard i was, but she starded playing with the pussy doing squats on me (while my crackhead black friends are watching me fuck the 1 white lady in overtown, like I literally wen tto an all black neighborhood, to fuck the 1 white crackhead all the other black guys were trying to fuck.

    LOL

    so she cums, and ya I had an erection, my whiskers taste like pu ssy, she's kising me, there's titties in my face, I just had a booty slap me in the face for a long ass time while I watched a 4/10 lady suck a really big dick.

    So I thanked, her, stood up, put my pants on, handed her her shoes, and when she stood up, I kissed on her on the mouth like a french kiss cuz I don't think she thought I would go for that, but LOL jokes on u, i love dat shit.

    she asked me if she could just wait there and I go get the 40 worth of rock.

    lol

    i said ya, i thought man should I rob this lady, and I thought what the fuck bradley, lol so I went and got 40 and she asks me to follow her so that we're not near any of the vultures, and she says "if I smoke this with you, will you actually fuck me for real?"

    I said will you suck me off till I"m hard? and a half hour after that I was having (unprotected sex with her) i asked her when I was done (the pussy was lackluster and I didn't enjoy it like the head, but she did and it was difficult to get my penis in there despite it being hard and super spitty, so yeha you know what I enjoyed it too.

    and I did say "are you clean" and she said yeah without thinking about it, sooooooo idk what to make of that.

    so after I got head, smoked up, I asked her what her plans were and I don't remember what she said but i left. So i found this little park,

    I found this extremely old white guy I did not think could get out of wheelchair, he was not good at fighting mostly because he was extremely drunk and slow and old, if you ever have to fight like someone whose a lot less than you, don't punch them, just poke them as hard as you can in the chest/face over and over again till they want to stop.

    so a little bit later on around 7pm, this big black lady (about 35) walks through the park, and she's kinda fat, and got really fucked up teeth, and she's covered in lotion but not like where it's rubbed in, just where it's white, i noticed her back wasn't lotioned up and asked her if I could help her.

    THis lady was fuckin drunk as shit, and we're in the dead ass center of a park, so as I'm rubbing her back, she faces me and I was like OK cool, and you know me, I start kissing on this middle age fat cracked out skitzophrenic lady who keeps calling me by different names

    dude she had such a fucking big ass, I told her let's go fuck. she said fuck me right here while they watch

    and i been kick in with like 8-12 black guys smoking crack all day, one of them tried to touch her titty, and she SCREAMED

    IF YOU TOUCH ME NIGGER I WILL GET THE POLICE HERE SO FUCKIN FAST, YOU REALLY GONNA GRAB MY BREAST? and i said mommy it's cool and put my hand like donald trump would've if you're trying to grab a bitch by the pussy.

    so over a park bench infront of everyone, suddenly I didn't have a problem getting an erection at that moment, and that pussy was fuckin loose, smelled bad, but that bitches ass was fat, and people were cheering, and I fucked her for less than two minutes as fast as I could just pounding the pussy, I told her to suck my dick and she said no you're gonna cum, cum in me and lol ofc.

    i may have contracted aids on Friday.

    I went to the ATM again and pulled out 100$, i asked the gas station guy to give it to me in 5s so whenevery i ever need any money, or want anything form anyone, i just have an unlimited magic amount of 5s lol

    Oh the crazy naked lady kept asking me over and over again for money, or cigarettes, or beer and at one point she got really close to me after I told her "I said No before, ask anyone other than me."

    she said no one has any. I said damn the gas station do and pointed at the door. (and then I let her kill the 1/4 of a cigarette later on)

    at one point I can't remember if she grabbed my beer or my cigarettes, but I stood up really fucking fast and bitch slapped her. I told her I"m sorry, I don't think there's any other way for you to understand what is mine is mine. YOu can ask for things, but I don't have to do a god damn thing for no one.

    So saturday, right, i'm again at the park and this old mexican guy starts asking me like if I can get him molly (it's bath salts that everyone here smokes if they're too poor for crack, so you know I smoke that shit too, and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO I GIVE PEOPLE CIGARTTES OR BEER (except those two girls cuz like I think you can get a beer if you let some dehydrated crackhead cum in you cuz he got some money from trayvon martin.

    so I ask him yo poppy u a fag? like for men and he looked around really spooked and he said "Not here" and i was like OK

    so I went to the nude beacha nd he's like 50 and sucks really good dick, i wouldn't fuck him because we were ont he beach and I was not gonna really try as hard as I can to pleasure some old fag that LIKES sucking dick.

    So I went to the college and told them I'm homeless to meet with teh social worker, they said I get the full pell grant 3500 an 800$ and that the homless voucher from last semester already covers this semester so in like a month they're gonna give me 4300 - the cost of books.

    so if you take the 1k i get a month, and this, that's like 8k that i need to cover everyhting for myself till April 28th when I graduate with my pretend associates degree.

    i can't find any housing tho, so I may just hang out outside or I may get a motel, Or I may go back to overtown.

    I also beat up some guy outsdie Mcdonalds where I was eating foo dand drinking, because uh when I am in neighborhoods that are covered in filth and trash and I'm drinking, the MOMENT I am done with the big mac wrapped/bag/napkin/any trash I could ever accumulate, it goes right on the ground.

    This guy told me not to litter Haha, I said litter fucking what bro and he so at one point i stood up and took some food out of my mouth and threw it at the ground onto his feet and told him to clean it up bitch you the maid bitch welcome to mcdonalds bitch. There was much shouting with me saying things such as "this nigga thinks he's my dad" "Why don't he work he" "I don't think he cleans himself" and at one point he got into my fuckin face on some

    "Bro you dont wanna do this shit." shit with his hat brim touching my forehead

    so I licked him from the bottom fo his chin, to his eye and he started swinging, and I started swinging. At one point his cell phone falls otu of his pocket and he's backin up, so I grab the phone off the ground as fast as I can, and HURL it with 100% of my strength into the ground, and it still lit up with a cracked screne, so I picked it up again and hurled it in the ground.

    I said why don't you clean that shit up bitch (Just wasted) he said I was gonna get mine (remember that part)

    So he came back with a metal pipe about 45 minutes later like a piece off a fence

    I was so fucking fast , as soona she crossed the street, I ripped that piece of metal out of his hands as hard as I could and I slapped him int eh chest with it, he fell back into the busy ass intersection like he fell on his fucking ass and I asked him if he wanted to fucking die

    and then I kinda just dropped/tossed the pipe on him, and I ran as FUCKING FAST AS I COULD AWAY LOL

    Haven't seen him since but this other old black guy wanted to tell me to leave him alone, he lives outside the mcdonalds and wants to keep it clean, I said I live here now and I don't think he should be near me especailly if he's finna try to sleep.

    i don't live outside the mcdoanlds i'm really drunk outside my college campusa nd I think I might go buy 40 worth of crack, drink me a fatass beer, get some KFC/popeyes and then call 911 and tell them I'm having chest pain cuz I ate KFC, drank some beers, adn It hink my heart really idk maam what should I do it feels klike needles are poking through my chest!!!

    that'll be like a free 3 days until I can think about where I wanna live.

    So anyway,

    tldr

    got evicted,

    doing tons of drugs

    finally had sex with a prostitute and got laid on some straight nasty ratchet pussy (like I like) and a guy (which I also like)

    i aint showered in 5 days, i aint ate in a couple, i made for sure at least 4 enemies. And uh, i can't believe that lady starting to cry while sucking my dick and having to do it kinda slow because I doubled the amount of money we previously agreed on was some pretty fucked up shit but she did do it again without any form of payment cuz she liked it.

    she asked me why I don't have a girlfriend, so i started telling everyone that her and I are together now and then gave her a fake number to reach me on and told her I loved her and kissed her on the face

    9/10 week for me folks, see you later

    remember:

    go to the most non white area you can
    bring 100$ in 5s, beer and cigarettes
    try to have sex with everyone and don't pull out or give them you're real name
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  2. #2
    Bradley Florida Man
    damn im high as fuck this is so long
  3. #3
    CandyRein Black Hole
    No one seems interested..better clout chase off me for some attention...
  4. #4
    "I've had the most exciting five days of my life."

    Tell us about those 5 days rather than the shit ones you just posted about.
  5. #5
    Originally posted by CandyRein No one seems interested..better clout chase off me for some attention…

    projeckshun
  6. #6
    Rape Monster Naturally Camouflaged
    You need your bipolar meds, Brad. You're fuckin losing it.
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  7. #7
    Haxxor Space Nigga
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  8. #8
    blaster master victim of incest
    Oh god.
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  9. #9
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Ok I’ve got nothing else to do so I’ll give it a read this better be good
  10. #10
    CandyRein Black Hole
    I will never do drugs ..idc idc lol
  11. #11
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Bradley so I licked him from the bottom fo his chin, to his eye and he started swinging, and I started swinging.

    LOL
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  12. #12
    CandyRein Black Hole
    If my life ever gets so trash that I read that post ..kill me...kill me dead loll
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  13. #13
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by CandyRein If my life ever gets so trash that I read that post ..kill me…kill me dead loll

    do you really need attention so badly that you'd come crawling back after making a big deal about quitting
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  14. #14
    CandyRein Black Hole
    You just mad because of what I posted lol...
    tryna talk about me leaving like it's got anything to do with you or what i just posted

    Big mad lmao
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  15. #15
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    yeah lol, I'm the mad one

    I'm the one who had a tantrum, ragequit, then came back to whine
  16. #16
    CandyRein Black Hole
    What does my 3 posts about leaving have to do with my post in here

    LOL

    Big mad
  17. #17
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    "what does me loudly leaving have to do with me coming back"

    do you ever think about what you post
  18. #18
    CandyRein Black Hole
    Originally posted by CandyRein If my life ever gets so trash that I read that post ..kill me…kill me dead loll

    Still... stay mad
  19. #19
    CandyRein Black Hole
    You don't talk to Kafka that way about leaving and she made a whole thread about leaving..
    It's because it's ME ... you wanna talk chit..


    So fake and such a pick me 😭🤭
  20. #20
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by CandyRein You don't talk to Kafka that way about leaving and she made a whole thread about leaving..

    lol, lmao

    I've been way harder on her because she sometimes posts interesting things that invite engagement rather than "I'm at work/I'm smoking weed/I'm taking a bath" repeated 40,000 times

    have you considered working on reigning in your narcissism
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