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It's that time of year again

  1. #1
    When a young boy's mind gets to thinking about his annual bonus.

    Friday is the day, first a dumb luncheon with the underlings and boss, then back to work for gift giving/raffle and collection of said bonus checks in a white envelope (usually also includes a pay raise starting Jan 1).

    Business is about 15% down on last year, but then last year was a record year...so I'm expecting the same as I got then and maybe a 7 or 8% pay rise.

    What about you layabouts? will Uncle Government be giving you something for Christmas or Father Social Security giving you a 1% increase?
  2. #2
    Bradley Florida Man
    8% increase Cost of Living Adjustment (COLA) this year raising me from 950 to about 1030, will be nice to get that much needed pay raise, I'm considering expanding my family due to the abundant resources now available to me.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I've started this passive income side hustle where I have about 5 or 6 pedophiles that I'm blackmailing all the chat logs and related information to their friends family and police unless they pay me a monthly stipend or whatever the word is. So basically I just get a free few thousand dollars a month collectively from the collective payments of these folks as a means to not ruin their life. Highly recommended.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    Both excellent contributions, thank you.
  5. #5
    WellHung Black Hole
    Most likely ill be receiving nothing but a pink slip. Just another loss in a lifetime full of losing. 👍💖
  6. #6
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by WellHung Most likely ill be receiving nothing but a pink slip. Just another loss in a lifetime full of losing. 👍💖

    Your e-dad will send you a few thousand dollars I'm sure, out of love.
  7. #7
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by mmQ Your e-dad will send you a few thousand dollars I'm sure, out of love.

    Go fuck yourself, faggot.🌷
  8. #8
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by WellHung Go fuck yourself, faggot.🌷

    Is that what he tells you when you ask him? Goddamn I thought you were in good standing. :(
  9. #9
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    so I'm giving myself a raise for next year, I'm going from 2.25 a Squair foot to 2.75 a sq ft thats gonna be like $125 extra a day
  10. #10
    Bradley Florida Man
    Well Polecat you deserve it, you only get faster, more efficient, stronger, and better at physical laboring with age.
  11. #11
    Rape Monster Naturally Camouflaged
    My boss gave us all $10 in scratch off lottery tickets
  12. #12
    Bradley Florida Man
    damn, did you win?
  13. #13
    It's the big day, which started off with a chilly 15F brrrrr.

    I wonder how much wealthier I'll be by the end of it and how much fatter after the works lunch. Only time will tell...
  14. #14
    Bradley Florida Man
    what are yall donig for christmas at work?
  15. #15
    We just go out to eat on the boss's dime at 12, then back here for gift giving...we all buy a gift for about $10 and then do a secret santa thing..I got a big jar of mixed nuts (unsalted because I know one of the fools doesn't like salted nuts). We also get out bonus envelopes at this time and the boss says "don't open them till you get home"...yeah ok...

    Then we go home about 2ish..however I'm waiting on a fucking package that says it's going to be delivered today (and I have my packages sent to work rather than home because of nigga package theft etc) so I'll have to stay here till the fucking USPS shows up which could be up to 5 or 6pm...hopefully they come early today.
  16. #16
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson We just go out to eat on the boss's dime at 12, then back here for gift giving…we all buy a gift for about $10 and then do a secret santa thing..I got a big jar of mixed nuts (unsalted because I know one of the fools doesn't like salted nuts). We also get out bonus envelopes at this time and the boss says "don't open them till you get home"…yeah ok…

    Then we go home about 2ish..however I'm waiting on a fucking package that says it's going to be delivered today (and I have my packages sent to work rather than home because of nigga package theft etc) so I'll have to stay here till the fucking USPS shows up which could be up to 5 or 6pm…hopefully they come early today.

    Sounds like you have a generous boss who treats his employees well, for the most part. Sounds like you got some pretty decent co-workers, too. If so, countvur blessings, Dad. It cud be so.much worse.
  17. #17
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Rape Monster My boss gave us all $10 in scratch off lottery tickets

    😅
  18. #18
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Then we go home about 2ish..however I'm waiting on a fucking package that says it's going to be delivered today (and I have my packages sent to work rather than home because of nigga package theft etc) so I'll have to stay here till the fucking USPS shows up which could be up to 5 or 6pm…hopefully they come early today.

    the ghost of xpmass pass is now using "waiting for package arrival" as an excuse to not clelbrate cx-mass.
  19. #19
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny the ghost of xpmass pass is now using "waiting for package arrival" as an excuse to not clelbrate cx-mass.

    Huh?

    That sentence was too wariatesque to understand.
  20. #20
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Huh?

    That sentence was too wariatesque to understand.

    ask someone smarter than you to explain.
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