2022-09-29 at 1:28 PM UTC
Folks I can count about two dozen times when i put my hand against a tree or a building and just breathed, wondering why life was so fucked for me/why another person would do that to me.
In most of each of a little over twenty moments I literally happening and just thinking at least for the last half "Yea this is why i'm such a fucked person." Didn't realize how impactful these moments were finna be until i was older.
We can go through them together if you want. What i've always tried to avoid being is a grievance counter, not sure the technical term for it,, but it's a mental health condition that involves a person who carries grievances against one institution/type of people (usually the government or women) and memorizes all the deep wrongs. Basically becoming a victim in all forms.
And then at some point having memorized this lengthy treatise on what every woman has done wrong to him or everything the government didn't do to coddle him they go on a killing spree or self destruct.
Fortunately aside from my mother's semi regular occurrence there is no thread of commonality across all the people, places, and things that have wronged me. Nor do I consider myself a victim, only a meandering youngman living a life and when you do bad, bad will follow.
2022-09-29 at 1:32 PM UTC
turning my phone off when someone needed real help...in my defense I didn't believe them till the next day when the reality of it was confirmed.
2022-09-29 at 1:33 PM UTC
what did they need help with
2022-09-29 at 1:34 PM UTC
Telling my mom I can see why my dad left her and she cried. Yeah that wasn't good of me
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2022-09-29 at 1:44 PM UTC
the girl who cried wolves,
2022-09-29 at 1:46 PM UTC
i've had women do it espeially with rides places. Something about women asking their stationary drug dealer to taxi them around seems to be a very very common assumption, so i tell them look im only gonna do this once, you don't have to pay me, but it won't ever happen again, do you want the ride now or in the future when perhaps you actually need it
2022-09-29 at 1:47 PM UTC
i should go back to sellindrugs i was a lot happier then
2022-09-29 at 2:27 PM UTC
This girl tried to get me expelled because the guy she liked was into me and not her. Then at the end of her presentation when it was time to ask questions I gave a lot of criticism.
Later I tried to get someone on the internet kicked out of uni. The dean called them in for a chat. I don’t think I would have done it if someone hadn’t tried to do that to me before.
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2022-09-29 at 2:29 PM UTC
After four cans of monster it’s like I’m demon possessed.
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