2017-05-07 at 6:47 AM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
I don't know if the psych meds are making me like this, but I know lithium carbonate can interact disastrously with serotonergics and I don't care because I desire an experience of personal revelation that can pierce this veil of depression that hinders my every motivation. I'm willing to take the risk; I only require the means. think I just don't care what happens to me anymore.
2017-05-07 at 6:54 AM UTC
What type of depression veil do you have Z? I've had a heavy depression the last 10 years of my life and I'm curious how ours may or may not relate.
2017-05-07 at 7:13 AM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
Originally posted by mmQ
What type of depression veil do you have Z? I've had a heavy depression the last 10 years of my life and I'm curious how ours may or may not relate.
I've been diagnosed MDD at one point and bipolar 1 at another, in general I've been sick this way for about eight or nine years. Pharmaceuticals have helped on and off, but I've never had a lasting respite. Things like beauty and love are foreign to me, all I know is desperation and when I try to feel something more all I do is frustrate myself. What else would you like to know?
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2017-05-07 at 8:17 AM UTC
What do you feel about the West's need to shove a pill down the throat of every living soul? Have you ever considered that maybe you aren't bipolar type 9 beta B depressed but rather just regular old depressed and the drugs are just muddling up your brain from a way of coping you might've had by now were it not for all the drugs? Maybe you expect too much from life. I mean, how many people are actually chemically fucked up to the extent they need drugs to fix it? Not many I'd say.
But maybe you are. Do you think you are? You seem to. You take the drugs.
2017-05-07 at 8:28 AM UTC
I'd honestly like to become manic again or even close. Onky one experience and it was SSRI induced. I miss that time.
2017-05-07 at 4:27 PM UTC
If you do it, you might jeopardise your future in coffee mongering
2017-05-07 at 5:55 PM UTC
Zanick, I have no idea. I can just tell you that I hate you a thousand times less now than before.
2017-05-07 at 7:45 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
This generation of kids were never brought up by their parents to deal with life properly, so when they try, they break down into blubbering piles of goo. We can call it any number of fake diseases, made up by countless doctors to make a lot of money for themselves, but what it really boils down to is uneducated, inexperienced, confused kids who have absolutely no idea how to handle, or even feel about, the real hardships of life.
2017-05-08 at 5:13 AM UTC
Zanick, I understand what you're saying and it makes sense, but something about it just seems really off, especially the part where you said you're willing to take any risk.
Just be really careful about your behavior. You're smart enough and understand your condition well enough to know that when you get into certain states you can things that make sense to you at the time and seem perfectly rational, that no one else may understand, but after the episode end you realize you were going through mania or psychosis. Please tell someone about anything major you're planning to do just to have a cross reference. Tell yourself, no matter what reasons you come up with for not wanting to tell others, because they may not understand, you're afraid of being hospitalized, being put on the wrong meds, whatever. On a rational basis you have to always tell yourself that it could all be inside your head and you could be in a bad state of mind. I don't want to see you seriously hurt yourself.
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2017-05-08 at 7:37 AM UTC
I agree here with Malice on this one. If it's too far out for a close friend to understand, then it probably might not be a good idea.
I suffer with anxiety and chronic depression. A large part to do with my circumstance and my chronic pain. Playing the guitar these last few months had helped significantly. My problems also. Do with the fact that I am extremely empathetic- I can feel other's pain as though it were my own to a large degree... I feel too much and I am greatly influenced by the pep level around me. It makes it so I don't like to go out to the store or have to interact with a a large number of people or be around people for long. I'm very selective on who I go around by choice for this reason... There are so many people I just can't handle. My anxiety can be moldy irrational at times, but some of it is rational fear and stress just blown way out of proportion than the average person experiences. I get depressed a lot and is hard to get out of it... For the depression sometimes trying to help a friend who's experiencing something similar helps me stay positive myself,but I fluctuate from times where I'm.. Meh.. To times I've got a gun to my head. It's been this way for years and only gotten worse- it goes in cycles. It's not so much depressed friends who make shit worse- typically they dont- its just the wrong people... People who lie, who are assholes, people who manipulate, and cause unneeded drama or have no empathy (not even like mine, just general basic human empathy) that cause things to get worse. Around the right person or people my health and mental issues show a great deal of improvement. I have been medicating with T-PAIN sodium for years both for my chronic painand for the antidepressant and anti-anxiety effects,which does so very well, very quickly and help a lot over the years-but tolerance goes up quick, you have to dose several times a day and you become physically dependent just like with opiates with about the same amount of usage it would take to experience Withdrawals from opiates after beginning and using them daily (3-7 days or so). I. Must stress T-PAIN withdrawals are pretty bad... Worst of any opiates I can think of... It also lasts a long time, but it may be only because I've been on the shit for several years now at very high doses.
Hope shit gets better for you. Despite our differences, I can sympathize with that sort of "pain" in one's life,and maybe some things mentioned above could help your situation some, but being we are very different, maybe not... But the T-PAIN doesn't blunt emotions,it helps more and often makes me more emotional but usually in good or healthy way, at least an improvement from how I used to be. Even when I am going over some hard or depressing issues, it gives me more emotions, but also more positive and "lovey" emotions- I would say it's worth it to try at least and see if it doesn't help. I have no idea with the drug interactions of this with lithium, but maybe Malice could chime in here with information to its safety in conjunction,or maybe you could taper off the lithium and then try the T-PAIN... It works immediately so for a trail it's not a huge investment and you'll know how it works for your issues. It's mild too, just don't take too much your first go and you'll be fine,taking.too much can cause an opiate type of nausea and higher doses feel like opiates and help with pain a great deal.
Good luck- you seem like a decent guy, so I hope everything works in the best and most positive ways and you're at minimum able to find good coping Methods and better ways to deal with your problems in a lasting and realistic way.
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Jesus Christ Hydro, how do you write so much?
Serious question: Have you ever thought about making a living as an online freelance writer? Getting a degree in order to get your foot in the door is pretty easy, and I've read there are 3 year bachelor programs in Florida. You can make some decent income from home once you gain a reputation. I remember Lillix used to do this.
It's not an insult, the amount of writing you produce is just incredible in a way. It reminds me of IWD.
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2017-05-08 at 8:07 AM UTC
Oh, and, no, t-pain/tianep*tine (very funny, lanny) doesn't interact with lithium. Can't see any reason why it would. It generally doesn't interact with anything, although I have seen it mentioned that it may interact very badly with bundy for some unknown reason.
2017-05-08 at 8:12 AM UTC
^don't you mean tianеptine?
2017-05-08 at 9:08 AM UTC
T-PAIN.
How do you bypass the word enhancement? Did I miss a post about this?
Just highlighted and googled that, only result came from this site. I'm guessing you're using a special character that looks just like a normal letter that I'm not aware of?
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-05-08T09:11:06.043568+00:00
