2016-05-11 at 12:15 AM UTC
how can I fudge that on my resume as a skill?
2016-05-11 at 12:43 AM UTC
Advanced Self Love or Master Bater
2016-05-11 at 3:50 AM UTC
Ajax
African Astronaut
[rumor the placative aphakia]
Forget the skill, that wastes space and ultimately says nothing. You need an action and a result. Numbers help.
Increased focus and attention to detail by 32% by utilizing edging.
Proven track record of delivering desired results with 96% success rate.
Grew client base by a factor of four through random sampling techniques and various market stimulations.
Innovated a large portfolio of products with limited resources (eh).
You get the idea.
2016-05-11 at 4:40 AM UTC
If you're legitimately 'skilled' at jacking off, you have nothing to fudge. Under skills, you'd put 'jacking off' in your list of skills, nonchalantly.
If you aren't a good jacker offer, but want to 'fudge' that you are, again, you'd just fucking write that 'jacking off' is one of your skills.
If they ASK you to prove that you are indeed a skilled jacker of the off, and you are indeed skilled at it, you simply demonstrate that to them.
If they ask you to prove it, and you have to physically fudge your own ability to skillfully jack off because you're not actually skilled at it, I guess I'd probably jack my cock at a furious rate, perhaps curled over a little bit to mask the potential un-erect nature of your penis, and fake your ejaculation as soon as possible. I worthy technique would be to cup your hand around the tip of your cock as you're 'cumming' so as to give the impression to your potential employer that you are catching the semen in a net-like fashion. Before they have a chance to examine the contents you can either bring your hand to your mouth and feign a swallowing motion, or clap your hands and expose both the top and bottom several times such as a blackjack dealer would do after they are done with their particular session, thus demonstrating to the observers that your jacking off skills allow you to quickly, or seeming magically, dispose of your semen without a trace.
2016-05-11 at 1:45 PM UTC
Man the job I applied at had 500 other people fuck it I don't want to shovel dirt that bad
