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Roll the dice and became as successful as me (requires courage and a knife).

  1. #1
    Bradley Florida Man
    Folks this may have limited application if you're too stupid to follow simple directions.

    I receive 950$ a month in Social Security & get food stamps. if you don't you're probably able bodied, not disabled and should get a fucking job. I also get Medicare.

    Take everyone in your life and silently say good bye, make sure you don't tell them. I choose not to go heavily into debt/borrow before fleeing. I relinquished a couple thousand dollars worth of drugs, weapons, kayaks, fishing gear, and computers. This is the hardest step you have to take (or at least it was for me) If you didn't have SSI I would probably have taken out loans from my plugs and customers and then did the dash.

    Wait till the first or when you have about 200-300$, MAKE SURE YOU BRING DRUGS OR ALCOHOL, go to your nearest greyhound station remember you will need someone's photo ID to book the ride, but after the rides booked (even online) you won't need to display it. Now pull up a map of your country on your phone, if you don't have a map you'll have to just guess. Don't think too much into it, it's the rest of your life. lol. With the map pulled up, ask your intoxicated self 'Where have I always wanted to go?'

    In my case it needed to be 3 things-
    1- Warmer than Wisconsin
    2- Full of Non White women. I suppose I could've just said Non Whites, but I can't stress this enough I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL (anymore)

    So I figured hmm, I knew Florida was full of the Mexicans that weren't actually from Mexico (now I know they're called Hispanics/Cubans&Haitians but we'll get to that chapter later). Second and third picks were Texas and California. HOWEVER I know that a lot of FAGGOTS live in California and shits real expensive & Texas is arid. I like to do bonsai and fish , which utilize tropical trees and the ocean has a couple new kinds of fish I never seen.

    Now that you have narrowed it down to a rough geographical area, you need to scratch your balls and stare at the GREYHOUND USA map in the lobby. Hmm. I could sell drugs at the resorts around Orlando and probably find work at disney land or some shit I guess, I thought. So i tried to book a bus ticket to Orlando, however I was told that I would leave in 2 1/2 days now if you're like me, which you probably are since you read my nonsense, 2 1/2 days in a greyhound bus hub drinking is a lot of time to back out of risking everything at a new life.

    IDK how those immigrant niggas do it, but anyway, so I said nah 60 hours is too long (I'm drunkenly making these decisions at a ticket booth in the middle of the night in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on the first of the month) As an aside: The first of the month is the WORST time to travel via poor people methods btw, full of dirty poor people, but they are a good cover for you to get drunk around.

    So the guy says uhhh where are you needing to go and i told him I don't care just it needs to be florida, southern florida if possible, he said well florida isn't in south florida, I said I don't give a fuck.

    Make sure the bus leaves in the next 12 hours. You might back out of ruining your life, pussy.

    Miami Florida? I can schedule you to leave tomorrow at 11am. I said PERFECT! loud as fuck and the guy kinda looked at me like I was crazy.


    And this begins the drinking binge, there was like 14 stops and it took 53 hours. When I got allsaid and done, I had passed out on the bus twice, losing my phone one time and one of my bluetooth headphones (I was blacking out a lot) and had to be woken up by the bus driver at every stop. I did have sex with this old black lady on the way to Memphis (unprotected ofc) [she pronounced it meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemphis] and when I arrived in Miami, I was surely noted of my lack of plan. What I originally intended to do was to call the Homeless Resources and try to find short term temporary stay somewhere until I could work or commit a couple schemes and come up.

    However without the phone and half of my stuff (clothing, my other phone, etc) which was stolen in Atlanta Georgia while I was smoking a blunt outside by a Usain Bolt lookin ass mufucka, I really didn't know what to do. So I gathered up my remaining belongings and feeling hopeless, heartless, & jobless I realized more than anything that it was HOT AS FUCK 92 degrees F and I needed a drink badly. Realized during the bus ride that my life was falling apart, you don't move away from your home state and stop talking to everyone to get drunk on a bus and go as far as you can away unless your life is something you've given up on. But I had my knives so I knew I'd be aight. It's worth mentioning I get really bad withdrawls when I don't drink, sweat, high blood pressure, shakes, etc.

    I went to the nearest liquor store and purchased a liter of Skol Vodka (the cheapest they had) and one of those gallon jugs of cheap OJ, I poured out a quarter of the gallon and filled it up with vodka, I shook it a couple of times (not stirred, I'm like that successful english spy guy) and started slamming it as I walked back to the bus terminal. Everyone seemed really unfriendly, I realized I smelled absolutely putrid because I had just been sweating out alcohol and crying and laying in the same clothes and I was really fucking drunk, now folks, I don't really remember this time of my life except vague patches, that's how drunk I was. I wandered around, smoked the rest of my cigarettes and when I had about a quarter of a gallon worth of drank left i was sitting outside the terminal crying, thinking about how I was such a fuck up, one of those drunk crying jags when you're really wasted and feel bad for yourself and I realized I wanted some drugs!

    Thank god I have money.

    While walking around looking for the nearest black people (who are always aware of where the drugs be at) this old lady from the airport (the greyhound and airport are connected in Miami) came and asked me if I was OK, i said ya, she said are you sure and i said ya she said OK and told me to let her know if I need help with anything. I guess I looked lost folks. She was white, I Probably reminded her of her son maybe IDK. So while I was sitting there I saw this white couple throw 2 glass jugs of wine into the trash before going into the airport. I was like WHAT A COME UP and fished them bitches out instantly, the red was 1/3 drunk up and the white one was almost empty, from their appearance & their preference for the faggoty ass white wine only young bitches and successful white people like I knew they probably didn't have diseases (I didn't care let's be honest) so I took a big ass chug of the white wine and it tasted like sugar water. So I poured it into the 1/4gallon of OJ Mixer and began chugging the red wine. I vomited into a bush. (I normally don't drink wine cuz I"m a pretty bad alcoholic), and kept chugging the red wine. Mind you I'm literally infront of the waiting area for taxis infront of an airport vomiting into a bush while holding a glass jug of red wine standing next to a couple back packs & a gallon of mixed drank.

    There comes the lady again, she just stares at me through the window with this concerned look on her face.

    I throw the red wine in the trash and I walk inside and said "Miss can you please call someone, I'm having a mental health emergency, I'm not on my medications, I don't know where I am and I"m scared."

    I knew this would work kinda.

    She says "what's your name?" and smartly I said "I don't know."

    she said can you sit down, I said ya i'mma go outside, so I Went out and stood next to my stuff, and I tried to chug the rest of the mixed drank. I puked, this time I didn't give a fuck and just puked right on the sidewalk as people are walking by and wiped my mouth and went back to chuggin my drank.

    2 cops show up in a squad car. I was like oh fuck. They said "Hey, do you have any weapons on you?" i said ya tons

    they said where, I said I have two knives in my pocket and a fishing knife in my bag. They said no guns or needles or anything? I said no

    They asked me for the two knives and one of them patted me down, asked me what was going on, I was prepared and started crying, telling them my family made me get on a bus and I have no one in Miami and no one likes me and they made me leave after my girlfriend left me and I"m scared and I've been crying on the bus for two days and I don't know what to do.

    You gonna kill yourself? No.

    You have any mental health problems? Yeah tons, I don't have my medicaiton, they didn't put them with my stuff and I don't know what to do.

    "We're gonna take you somewhere to get help, okay? What's your name? Oh okay Brad, are you gonna puke in my car?"

    No.

    "Pour out that alcohol"

    I walked to the trash can and started chugging and the cops power walked to me and took it from me and poured it out, he said because this is a mental health call I"m going to take my body camera to record you while I take you to the crisis center.

    I then detoxed for 9 days on Ativan, got on my anti depressants, ate really good read a bunch of books, and got transfered to the nicest treatment center I've ever seen for a 60 day program. Now I'm going into my own place they helped me find, i've saved up 2400 and like 250 in food stamps, gained 20 pounds and they gave me a shit load of button ups and polos and slacks and 4 pairs of shoes, I made like 2 friends that i will know outside of here (a lot of people here like me but the feeling isn't mutual) i have an appointment to get my florida ID which doubles as a fishing license (for free), I'm enrolled to start college on the 22nd, will have my associates degree by December because of all my transfer credits, they might give me a free computer I think, and I will have appointments to see a psyciatrist to treat my pretend anxiety so I can get alprazolam & klonazapams and make some money, or black out and steal stuff, or go on hook up dates, or just walk around.

    my only regret is I didn't bring any of my weapons like the good ones with me nor did I oil them down before I left :/ Oh well, I"m gonna buy more soon so my ops don't find my lackin, but i don't have any enemies here, YET :) :) :)

    I get out of here next week thursday the 11th & start school on the 22nd and don't have to work while in school because school is free for the homeless.

    LIterally I rolled the dice and I couldn't be happier with how everything worked out. I haven't had a drink in 64 days or so.

    I wrote this two weeks ago.

    TL;DR just get on a public transportation and go as far as you can in any direction (must be 1000miles+) and then tell them you're having a mental health emergency & enjoy YOUR great new life.
    Quote
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Originally posted by Bradley but I can't stress this enough I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL (anymore)

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    Originally posted by Bradley and then tell them you're having a mental health emergency

    where i am this is what you get when you tell people you have 'mental health emergency'.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    Didn't read. Who are you, John Dice?
  5. #5
    I don't have to read this to know OP is on meth
  6. #6
    Roll the John Dice
  7. #7
    Bradley Florida Man
    That was me sober. Now I'm kicking back and watching porn. Almost 3 months sober.
  8. #8
    Who are you, John Wife? The inventor of being my wife?
  9. #9
    Russian roulette > rolling the dice.
  10. #10
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Russian roulette > rolling the dice.

    Who are you, John Roll?
  11. #11
    Originally posted by Who are you, John Joke (inventor of jokes)? Who are you, John Roll?

    No, I'm John Thomas inventor of the willy.
  12. #12
    Who are you, John Willy?
  13. #13
    Instigator Naturally Camouflaged [the staring tame crusher]
    You guys....
  14. #14
    Originally posted by Who are you, John Joke (inventor of jokes)? Who are you, John Willy?

    John Willie Lees, inventor of the pint.

    https://www.jwlees.co.uk/beer/manchester-craft-lager
  15. #15
    Who is he, John Pint? Inventor of the pint?
  16. #16
    Bradley Florida Man
    Holland I rode a trolley to the campus today
  17. #17
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by Bradley Folks this may have limited application if you're too stupid to follow simple directions.

    I receive 950$ a month in Social Security & get food stamps. if you don't you're probably able bodied, not disabled and should get a fucking job. I also get Medicare.

    Take everyone in your life and silently say good bye, make sure you don't tell them. I choose not to go heavily into debt/borrow before fleeing. I relinquished a couple thousand dollars worth of drugs, weapons, kayaks, fishing gear, and computers. This is the hardest step you have to take (or at least it was for me) If you didn't have SSI I would probably have taken out loans from my plugs and customers and then did the dash.

    Wait till the first or when you have about 200-300$, MAKE SURE YOU BRING DRUGS OR ALCOHOL, go to your nearest greyhound station remember you will need someone's photo ID to book the ride, but after the rides booked (even online) you won't need to display it. Now pull up a map of your country on your phone, if you don't have a map you'll have to just guess. Don't think too much into it, it's the rest of your life. lol. With the map pulled up, ask your intoxicated self 'Where have I always wanted to go?'

    In my case it needed to be 3 things-
    1- Warmer than Wisconsin
    2- Full of Non White women. I suppose I could've just said Non Whites, but I can't stress this enough I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL (anymore)

    So I figured hmm, I knew Florida was full of the Mexicans that weren't actually from Mexico (now I know they're called Hispanics/Cubans&Haitians but we'll get to that chapter later). Second and third picks were Texas and California. HOWEVER I know that a lot of FAGGOTS live in California and shits real expensive & Texas is arid. I like to do bonsai and fish , which utilize tropical trees and the ocean has a couple new kinds of fish I never seen.

    Now that you have narrowed it down to a rough geographical area, you need to scratch your balls and stare at the GREYHOUND USA map in the lobby. Hmm. I could sell drugs at the resorts around Orlando and probably find work at disney land or some shit I guess, I thought. So i tried to book a bus ticket to Orlando, however I was told that I would leave in 2 1/2 days now if you're like me, which you probably are since you read my nonsense, 2 1/2 days in a greyhound bus hub drinking is a lot of time to back out of risking everything at a new life.

    IDK how those immigrant niggas do it, but anyway, so I said nah 60 hours is too long (I'm drunkenly making these decisions at a ticket booth in the middle of the night in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on the first of the month) As an aside: The first of the month is the WORST time to travel via poor people methods btw, full of dirty poor people, but they are a good cover for you to get drunk around.

    So the guy says uhhh where are you needing to go and i told him I don't care just it needs to be florida, southern florida if possible, he said well florida isn't in south florida, I said I don't give a fuck.

    Make sure the bus leaves in the next 12 hours. You might back out of ruining your life, pussy.

    Miami Florida? I can schedule you to leave tomorrow at 11am. I said PERFECT! loud as fuck and the guy kinda looked at me like I was crazy.


    And this begins the drinking binge, there was like 14 stops and it took 53 hours. When I got allsaid and done, I had passed out on the bus twice, losing my phone one time and one of my bluetooth headphones (I was blacking out a lot) and had to be woken up by the bus driver at every stop. I did have sex with this old black lady on the way to Memphis (unprotected ofc) [she pronounced it meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemphis] and when I arrived in Miami, I was surely noted of my lack of plan. What I originally intended to do was to call the Homeless Resources and try to find short term temporary stay somewhere until I could work or commit a couple schemes and come up.

    However without the phone and half of my stuff (clothing, my other phone, etc) which was stolen in Atlanta Georgia while I was smoking a blunt outside by a Usain Bolt lookin ass mufucka, I really didn't know what to do. So I gathered up my remaining belongings and feeling hopeless, heartless, & jobless I realized more than anything that it was HOT AS FUCK 92 degrees F and I needed a drink badly. Realized during the bus ride that my life was falling apart, you don't move away from your home state and stop talking to everyone to get drunk on a bus and go as far as you can away unless your life is something you've given up on. But I had my knives so I knew I'd be aight. It's worth mentioning I get really bad withdrawls when I don't drink, sweat, high blood pressure, shakes, etc.

    I went to the nearest liquor store and purchased a liter of Skol Vodka (the cheapest they had) and one of those gallon jugs of cheap OJ, I poured out a quarter of the gallon and filled it up with vodka, I shook it a couple of times (not stirred, I'm like that successful english spy guy) and started slamming it as I walked back to the bus terminal. Everyone seemed really unfriendly, I realized I smelled absolutely putrid because I had just been sweating out alcohol and crying and laying in the same clothes and I was really fucking drunk, now folks, I don't really remember this time of my life except vague patches, that's how drunk I was. I wandered around, smoked the rest of my cigarettes and when I had about a quarter of a gallon worth of drank left i was sitting outside the terminal crying, thinking about how I was such a fuck up, one of those drunk crying jags when you're really wasted and feel bad for yourself and I realized I wanted some drugs!

    Thank god I have money.

    While walking around looking for the nearest black people (who are always aware of where the drugs be at) this old lady from the airport (the greyhound and airport are connected in Miami) came and asked me if I was OK, i said ya, she said are you sure and i said ya she said OK and told me to let her know if I need help with anything. I guess I looked lost folks. She was white, I Probably reminded her of her son maybe IDK. So while I was sitting there I saw this white couple throw 2 glass jugs of wine into the trash before going into the airport. I was like WHAT A COME UP and fished them bitches out instantly, the red was 1/3 drunk up and the white one was almost empty, from their appearance & their preference for the faggoty ass white wine only young bitches and successful white people like I knew they probably didn't have diseases (I didn't care let's be honest) so I took a big ass chug of the white wine and it tasted like sugar water. So I poured it into the 1/4gallon of OJ Mixer and began chugging the red wine. I vomited into a bush. (I normally don't drink wine cuz I"m a pretty bad alcoholic), and kept chugging the red wine. Mind you I'm literally infront of the waiting area for taxis infront of an airport vomiting into a bush while holding a glass jug of red wine standing next to a couple back packs & a gallon of mixed drank.

    There comes the lady again, she just stares at me through the window with this concerned look on her face.

    I throw the red wine in the trash and I walk inside and said "Miss can you please call someone, I'm having a mental health emergency, I'm not on my medications, I don't know where I am and I"m scared."

    I knew this would work kinda.

    She says "what's your name?" and smartly I said "I don't know."

    she said can you sit down, I said ya i'mma go outside, so I Went out and stood next to my stuff, and I tried to chug the rest of the mixed drank. I puked, this time I didn't give a fuck and just puked right on the sidewalk as people are walking by and wiped my mouth and went back to chuggin my drank.

    2 cops show up in a squad car. I was like oh fuck. They said "Hey, do you have any weapons on you?" i said ya tons

    they said where, I said I have two knives in my pocket and a fishing knife in my bag. They said no guns or needles or anything? I said no

    They asked me for the two knives and one of them patted me down, asked me what was going on, I was prepared and started crying, telling them my family made me get on a bus and I have no one in Miami and no one likes me and they made me leave after my girlfriend left me and I"m scared and I've been crying on the bus for two days and I don't know what to do.

    You gonna kill yourself? No.

    You have any mental health problems? Yeah tons, I don't have my medicaiton, they didn't put them with my stuff and I don't know what to do.

    "We're gonna take you somewhere to get help, okay? What's your name? Oh okay Brad, are you gonna puke in my car?"

    No.

    "Pour out that alcohol"

    I walked to the trash can and started chugging and the cops power walked to me and took it from me and poured it out, he said because this is a mental health call I"m going to take my body camera to record you while I take you to the crisis center.

    I then detoxed for 9 days on Ativan, got on my anti depressants, ate really good read a bunch of books, and got transfered to the nicest treatment center I've ever seen for a 60 day program. Now I'm going into my own place they helped me find, i've saved up 2400 and like 250 in food stamps, gained 20 pounds and they gave me a shit load of button ups and polos and slacks and 4 pairs of shoes, I made like 2 friends that i will know outside of here (a lot of people here like me but the feeling isn't mutual) i have an appointment to get my florida ID which doubles as a fishing license (for free), I'm enrolled to start college on the 22nd, will have my associates degree by December because of all my transfer credits, they might give me a free computer I think, and I will have appointments to see a psyciatrist to treat my pretend anxiety so I can get alprazolam & klonazapams and make some money, or black out and steal stuff, or go on hook up dates, or just walk around.

    my only regret is I didn't bring any of my weapons like the good ones with me nor did I oil them down before I left :/ Oh well, I"m gonna buy more soon so my ops don't find my lackin, but i don't have any enemies here, YET :) :) :)

    I get out of here next week thursday the 11th & start school on the 22nd and don't have to work while in school because school is free for the homeless.

    LIterally I rolled the dice and I couldn't be happier with how everything worked out. I haven't had a drink in 64 days or so.

    I wrote this two weeks ago.

    TL;DR just get on a public transportation and go as far as you can in any direction (must be 1000miles+) and then tell them you're having a mental health emergency & enjoy YOUR great new life.
    Quote

    Bro my classes start the 22nd too


    This is my last semester for associates in sci and im taking cultural anthropology snd electronic music production to finish my electives.

    What r u taking?
  18. #18
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by Bradley That was me sober. Now I'm kicking back and watching porn. Almost 3 months sober.

    Dont stare at the dicks too long or youll be ghey again.

    And u fucked an old homeless black chick? The fuck lol
  19. #19
    Bradley Florida Man
    she wasn't homeless, but yeah she was like 45. we got drunk on the way to Memphis. she looked like candyrein but then again most of them kinda do
  20. #20
    Bradley Florida Man
    Originally posted by RIPtotse Bro my classes start the 22nd too


    This is my last semester for associates in sci and im taking cultural anthropology snd electronic music production to finish my electives.

    What r u taking?

    Mathematics, communications, humanities, and philosophy. some computer ones I can't remember
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