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Let's talk about our Mental Illnesses

  1. #1
    Bradley Black Hole
    Most of you suffer from a myriad of mental and physical ailments. Some of us died from both. Let's discuss what's wrong with you! You are not welcome to input in discussion without stating in your first post what's wrong with you, or if there isn't anything but I find that very hard to believe, you're also welcome to speculate on users who haven't posted here as though you were their psychologist and encourage them to rebuttle. I will start.

    I started two new medication during detox. FOr the last 7 years I've been taking Effexxor/Venlafaxine, which treats depression, however I'm sure many of you know I am nuts as fuck. My actual diagnosis is quite lengthy but to summarize

    Borderline Personality Disorder with Anti Social and Narcisstic Features
    Bipolar Type 1
    Substance Abuse Disorder Alcoholism
    Intermittent Insomnia
    Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Chiefly Hyper vigilance, Aggression)

    I treated all of this with alcoholism via Steel Reserve Malt Liquor, lol. I have treated my insomnia with Trazadone (Gives me a huge erection but I can't bust or make it go away without ice) and Ambien/zolpidem (Makes me go on long walks where I talk to strangers and engage in risky same sex behavior that I vaguely remember)

    On ambien I invariably I also tell the other person I love them and they often fall for me, then drop me off at home and I don't remember ever having anything to do with them beyond sex but they keep calling me and texting me how much they love me and i'm like dude i took a bunch of adderalls and ambien when we hung out and I have no idea what you're talking about, I gave one twink a mental breakdown cuz we hung out every other night for a week then I went to my moms and when I turned on my computer I had like 8 text messages and they were wanting to know where I was at, if I was okay, and that he was outside my apartment.

    I was like what the fuck, who the fuck are you thinking you are? To me he was a guy who I sold pot too and fucked around with, but to him I was his fianc'e that was an heart break for him to experience. I tried to be honest with him and said "You're missing front teeth, bud, I wouldn't date someone like that, it would make me look bad to people who practice oral hygiene." I think his was from bulliemia and crack but ofcourse everyone has excuses that things that are obviously their fault aren't.

    I thought I was a psychopath for awhile, but now I just realized I have decreased empathy as a result of childhood trauma and I enjoy violence probably for the same reason.

    I feel most alive when I fuck, fight, or shoot up cocaine. I realize this is not healthy.

    I've never tried other anti depressants and don't plan to.

    The two new meds were Remron & Depakote ontop of the Effexxor.

    I am not taking my arthritis medication and feel honestly fine for the first time in my life.

    when I look up the traits of a psychopath as my ex once pointed out, I have 8 out of 10 of them or some shit, like 19 of 22 or something, but I love myself and psychopaths are incapable of loving so I know that can't be true.

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  2. #2
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    they will never track me down
    they will never diagnose me
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  3. #3
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Ive never been on psych meds...i was prescribed kpins before but that's cuz I have anxiety ;] I also take methadone which is a lot cheaper and easier than going to tt or bb or d or p or black or jt.

    Other than tha my heroin/fent problems I've never had much of a mental health issue. When I did go to a psychiatrist for suboxone and kpins the doctor said I probably had drug induced bipolar issues but I mean who wouldn't being homeless shooting heroin/fent everyday.
  4. #4
    Bradley Black Hole
    well bud if you ever want to play the system the government will pay for your housing, any fun medications (like ambien, adderal and alprazolam) you want, give you free food & a card to buy food with, and if you're ever in a pinch you can say "i'm having a mental health emergency" and they won't shoot you but will taxi you wherever you can get treated. & to make the police not a revolving door taxi service, they will then start you on benefits that even if you're "suddenly cured" (aka don't want to see Mental Health services) you continue getting government benefits.

    Comparatively I would have to do menial jobs that pay less than I get on government assistance and require me to pass drug tests and not be able to shitpost and holler at equally unemployable non white girls.
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  5. #5
    Bradley Black Hole
    Originally posted by RIPtotse Ive never been on psych meds…i was prescribed kpins before but that's cuz I have anxiety ;] I also take methadone which is a lot cheaper and easier than going to tt or bb or d or p or black or jt.

    Other than tha my heroin/fent problems I've never had much of a mental health issue. When I did go to a psychiatrist for suboxone and kpins the doctor said I probably had drug induced bipolar issues but I mean who wouldn't being homeless shooting heroin/fent everyday.

    me nigga! If you can use the shit, you can sell the shit, there is no excuse for homelessness beyond a month if you have the heart and soul of a plug and not a junkie.

    I always knew I was the plug that's why I paid attention in Spanish class.
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  6. #6
    Bradley Black Hole
    When they cut me loose from this motherfucker, I'm gonna go sell 20$ grams on the beach that come with a blunt wrap. My boy said he can get me a job pulling out/putting away beach chairs with the big umbrella and table on the beach. 15$ an hour cash or 20$ an hour on paper, and the rich people give you tips. They said I'll get more than he does (10$ cash, 15$ for legals) because I speak English and the tips will be a lot more.

    Gonna do this while I walk around with a fanny pack eyeballing grams for 20 dollar hollers. my guy asked me if I mind being naked (i looked at him very ^_- because no one knows i'm bi here) and I said why, and he said cuz no one wants to do the chair thing at the nude beach nude and wearing just a fanny pack would be funny and I'm a funny guy to begin with so if I talk to rich, older white folks who want me to pull the chair out to their spot and go back and get the table and then go back and get the umbrella, i'll probably get a 10 or 20$ tip, ontop of selling them the gram, ontop of the hourly cash wage.

    Not bad for a fuck up from the Mil. Also they let you sleep in the chair if you're homeless until you can get back on your feet and it's safe cuz a lot of the illegals that work there sleep on the chairs and they're gonna end up liking me most likely.

    Plus if someone offers me 100$ for some head, i'll give them the 100$ back and get some head and their number and maybe make a friend for life???? who can buy me a car???? Or at least give me more head????

    Time will tell.
  7. #7
    Bradley Black Hole
    o and if I get a medical card someone told me I can walk around with up to 28grammes no matter how it's bagged up, so I can tie up 1gram sacks and unless the police (who won't go to a nude beach i'm told without a uniform and gun on them) see me hand it to someone, it's completely legalish.

    An ounce is like 150$ for nuggets around here, and if my math isn't correct that's 560$ an ounce while I'm at work, while I'm thirsting for brown girls and white trannies, settling for skinny white dudes if I'm unsuccessful that day, and just me, my fanny pack and a 30 pack of condoms and a 30 pack of blunt wraps everytime I go to the store, just to go back the next morning for more.

    & if I have to roll the blunt for them, I get to light it up before thanking them for the opportunity. I'm also an extremely hard nigga to rob cuz I will be at knife point at all times forever.

    Even when I came to this sober living house, they went through my belongings and found 4 knives of various assortment and utility.
  8. #8
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Bruh.. lol .. have you EVER considered just getting a normal job and saving enough money to buy a house or a car? You could literally buy a house for like 10k or under in certain areas and fix it up a bit and live there forever unless like immenent domain comes through or something..all u have to do is pay taxes and electric and water and feed urself basicslly.
  9. #9
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I have adhd so I didn't read this Fred but I like the energy and have alot wrong with me. I have terrible thoughts all the time but seek self improvement so I'll be aite
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  10. #10
    Kafka sweaty
    I’ll talk about my dad. He burned down his house, said it was because he had bad memories there. He stabbed a knife through his own hand in the pub, it was because he was angry at someone who tried to kill their mother by setting fire to a bin in front of the door, and somehow that escalated. He was sectioned in England because of his meds and going off alcohol abruptly, they caused delirium and hallucinations. He was beating up drug addicts in England. I noticed self harm scars, one went through his tattoo. He always talked to himself. I think he was depressed. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about.

    Anyway he was a sociable and friendly person but also slightly eccentric and an engineer, so I’m convinced I got my aspergers from him along with my kind heart and eccentricity.
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  11. #11
    Rape Monster Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Bradley When they cut me loose from this motherfucker, I'm gonna go sell 20$ grams on the beach that come with a blunt wrap. My boy said he can get me a job pulling out/putting away beach chairs with the big umbrella and table on the beach. 15$ an hour cash or 20$ an hour on paper, and the rich people give you tips. They said I'll get more than he does (10$ cash, 15$ for legals) because I speak English and the tips will be a lot more.

    Gonna do this while I walk around with a fanny pack eyeballing grams for 20 dollar hollers. my guy asked me if I mind being naked (i looked at him very ^_- because no one knows i'm bi here) and I said why, and he said cuz no one wants to do the chair thing at the nude beach nude and wearing just a fanny pack would be funny and I'm a funny guy to begin with so if I talk to rich, older white folks who want me to pull the chair out to their spot and go back and get the table and then go back and get the umbrella, i'll probably get a 10 or 20$ tip, ontop of selling them the gram, ontop of the hourly cash wage.

    Not bad for a fuck up from the Mil. Also they let you sleep in the chair if you're homeless until you can get back on your feet and it's safe cuz a lot of the illegals that work there sleep on the chairs and they're gonna end up liking me most likely.

    Plus if someone offers me 100$ for some head, i'll give them the 100$ back and get some head and their number and maybe make a friend for life???? who can buy me a car???? Or at least give me more head????

    Time will tell.

    when they cut you loose from that motherfucker all that is going to happen is you'll be back chugging 211s within a couple days and fucking yourself over again like always

    I never knew "the plug" to survive by being on government assistance in a group home for drug addicts 😂
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  12. #12
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by Kafka I’ll talk about my dad. He burned down his house, said it was because he had bad memories there. He stabbed a knife through his own hand in the pub, it was because he was angry at someone who tried to kill their mother by setting fire to a bin in front of the door, and somehow that escalated. He was sectioned in England because of his meds and going off alcohol abruptly, they caused delirium and hallucinations. He was beating up drug addicts in England. I noticed self harm scars, one went through his tattoo. He always talked to himself. I think he was depressed. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about.

    Anyway he was a sociable and friendly person but also slightly eccentric and an engineer, so I’m convinced I got my aspergers from him along with my kind heart and eccentricity.

    The fuck
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  13. #13
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Originally posted by Rape Monster when they cut you loose from that motherfucker all that is going to happen is you'll be back chugging 211s within a couple days and fucking yourself over again like always

    I never knew "the plug" to survive by being on government assistance in a group home for drug addicts 😂

    Rape Monster in with another clutch post.

    I love ya bradleyb but this was funny lol
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  14. #14
    Rape Monster Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Kafka I’ll talk about my dad. He burned down his house, said it was because he had bad memories there. He stabbed a knife through his own hand in the pub, it was because he was angry at someone who tried to kill their mother by setting fire to a bin in front of the door, and somehow that escalated. He was sectioned in England because of his meds and going off alcohol abruptly, they caused delirium and hallucinations. He was beating up drug addicts in England. I noticed self harm scars, one went through his tattoo. He always talked to himself. I think he was depressed. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about.

    Anyway he was a sociable and friendly person but also slightly eccentric and an engineer, so I’m convinced I got my aspergers from him along with my kind heart and eccentricity.

    Your dad wasn't a sociable, friendly, eccentric person, he was a violent psychotic drunk.
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  15. #15
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by Kafka I’ll talk about my dad. He burned down his house, said it was because he had bad memories there. He stabbed a knife through his own hand in the pub, it was because he was angry at someone who tried to kill their mother by setting fire to a bin in front of the door, and somehow that escalated. He was sectioned in England because of his meds and going off alcohol abruptly, they caused delirium and hallucinations. He was beating up drug addicts in England. I noticed self harm scars, one went through his tattoo. He always talked to himself. I think he was depressed. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about.

    Anyway he was a sociable and friendly person but also slightly eccentric and an engineer, so I’m convinced I got my aspergers from him along with my kind heart and eccentricity.

    Sounds similar to my dad

    Alcoholic
    Con artist
    Violent
    Depressed
    Anti social
    Musically gifted
    Self absorbed
    Can only be social when it serves a purpose for him
    Other stuff

    Many of these things have gotten better as he's gotten older but he's on quite a few meds rn
  16. #16
    Bradley Black Hole
    Originally posted by RIPtotse Bruh.. lol .. have you EVER considered just getting a normal job and saving enough money to buy a house or a car? You could literally buy a house for like 10k or under in certain areas and fix it up a bit and live there forever unless like immenent domain comes through or something..all u have to do is pay taxes and electric and water and feed urself basicslly.

    Yes. I hope to work security until I save up enough money to buy a home or get enough information to hit a fat ass lick and move away.
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  17. #17
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Kafka I’ll talk about my dad. He burned down his house, said it was because he had bad memories there. He stabbed a knife through his own hand in the pub, it was because he was angry at someone who tried to kill their mother by setting fire to a bin in front of the door, and somehow that escalated. He was sectioned in England because of his meds and going off alcohol abruptly, they caused delirium and hallucinations. He was beating up drug addicts in England. I noticed self harm scars, one went through his tattoo. He always talked to himself. I think he was depressed. There’s probably a lot I don’t know about.

    Anyway he was a sociable and friendly person but also slightly eccentric and an engineer, so I’m convinced I got my aspergers from him along with my kind heart and eccentricity.

    your dad sounds cool as fuck
  18. #18
    Rape Monster Naturally Camouflaged
    lol this isn't gta5
  19. #19
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Rape Monster lol this isn't gta5

    be the change you want to see
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  20. #20
    Bradley Black Hole
    Always figured once I create a child I would in earnest try to buy a small home with my wife/the childs mother but I doubt it'll involve me clocking in and out like someone's by the hour bitch. If it works for you I'm glad, but I'm even more glad it doesn't for me.
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