Dude, I have my son right here with me and he spends a great deal of time being showered with love, kisses and his little cheeks being pinched off his pour face by these old people that don't have grandkids of his own or can't even see their grandkid because her son is such an asshole. I'm not on heroin (yes, to avoid wds from T-PAIN, I did use some a long while back, but frankly shit sucks and have no use for it). I work, I actually have 2 jobs now. 3 if you consider I practically am a live in nurse for two elderly people. When I'm home if I'm not changing a diapers Im changing bandages, fetching beers and bottles and emptying piss jugs. I hide out in my room as much as possible. Both jobs I've have are cushy, easy and don't involve much human contact. (I just started my second job and only because a friend of a friend needed some part time help at her business). Both jobs are salary. This leaves me with a lot of free time since its easy a fuck to just bust ass, get it done and get paid. I do not sleep on a couch. I have my own bedroom and so does my son but he mostly sleeps with me or a lot lately he's been falling asleep with the old people while I'm at work so they just take him to bed with them because they are over protective and worriers who don't think him being so young he should be left alone in a room by himself at night (I foresee attachment issues down the line and a fight to sleep in his own bed but ah well... I was that way too. I am not against men raising kids. Shit, my dad raised me and I'm the last person alive to say anything against a dad raising a child. If §m£ÂgØL wanted custody of my son, I would be open to that. Shit, when things were bad, I tried to make his parents aware of the situation so they'd finally know and so if they wanted custody we could have worked toward that. Look.. §m£ÂgØL may be young and immature dependency wise and not be where most his age are, but I've always spoke up for the good person he is regardless of what grounds we were on. §m£ÂgØL would really make a wonderful father and be a good influence on a kid. I've seen him with my son and other kids before and I can't think of many people who are so good with kids as he is. I know that at this age he doesn't want the burden of a child to rear and he feels unable or that he wouldn't be good at it, but I see a very kind, loving, nurturing person who would excell at being in a child's life as a parent. Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Should §m£ÂgØL be more into adulting at this age? Yes, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good influence on a child or not care for them and if he did right now of course he would need family support but he seems to have a pretty tight family anyway. Now for the father on the Birth certificate... I got onto a relationship with him very early in life (16) when he was much older (22). I was heavily manipulated by him and forced into a lot of shit situations by him. Yes, I made plenty of mistakes but until the gravy train ran out on him and he couldn't loaf about any longer, it was impossible to get that shit head to leave. He felt entitled to say in my home without paying rent EVER while I worked and he made excuses why he couldn't find work. Manipulation included threatening to kill himself if we left, never being with anyone else (I did care about him despite not wanting a relationship to continue) and sobbing about dying alone and how much he loved me, how special I was (yep, I was special until I refused to support his ass any longer), and how he could never love another. I allowed the situation to grow until I felt trapped by the burdens that were placed around me. I felt unable to leave for a lot and when I did just throw my hands in the air the faggot would t leave. Fuck the only reason he did end up leaving was because I had to pay his sorry ass way for him to go mooch off his father. He wanted to be on the birth certificate and be a 'father' but did none of the things to support. I worked through the majority of my pregnancy and couldn't even have him do a fee chores while at work. When the baby came he still wouldn't go find work and made excuses. He said he would send support when he got a job out there but that never happened. Apparently he thinks its the responsibility of the mother and court to hint him down when the court is there to COMPELL, not be the only way a father can be there. He moved to the other side of the country and still though somehow he could have visitations when childaupport caught up to him (he could have but that would require him to come where I am at). He wanted this child so that he could receive Medicaid in florida and thought that this would seal in stone that I could never leave him. It backfired. Despite me not being truly in love with him (and I said it many times over the years.. I never tried to delude him to think my love was some deep undying thing though I did genuinely care for him and worry about his wellbeing but that faded the more and more I saw that I was just being used) I would have stayed with him had he just have pulled his share of the burden and been a decent human being... I let him get away with a lot... He convinced me I had some sleep disorder and would 'wake up' all over him for sex. Toward the end he tried to manipulate me further when I said I was done and we were just going to be separate and work to raise this child. He for mad because he went through my phone and seen I had been sexting and sending pics to §m£ÂgØL (which I full disclosed that is being apart ment that I could go fuck or engage sexually with whomever I wanted he just didn't think I actually would do anything at first) and then flipped his shit. Being a new mom I felt really helpless and needed some support so he threatened he was gonna up and go leaving g me alone and at first I panicked and and made me say that I'd be with him exclusively. Okay.. But I said it on the condition that I wasn't having sex. He agreed and then said he wanted to just sleep next to me.. I grudgingly agreed and laid there pretending to fall asleep. He kept poking and prodding me but I just played possum because I didn't want to have sex and wanted to see what he was going to do. I do sleep hard so it's not far fetched for mebto sleep through shit he tried to do. I let he go until I caught his ass undeniably raping me. He moved me and contorted me and rammed his cock in me. I jumped up then and flipped the fuck out on his ass and he still tried to say I STARTED IT! Wtf I know damn well that night I didn't do shit but stay limp and with my eyes closed pretending to have fell asleep quick and plus there was the whole deal of no sex anyway. I realize now the way he tried to defend his actions that the shit he did to me before was rape as well (he claimed for 6 years that I would come on to him in my sleep because I'd wake up with cum in between my legs and not remember anything.. Sometimes I'd have little blips of a nightmare or what I thought was a sex dream not going for the shit and he claimed that this was all me, trying to fuck him or tease him. So I told him that if I did it again to just leave. It bothered me to wake up unable to remember what happened and I felt like I was being raped and having anxiety and fear from it. He'd just make more excuses that I would yell at him for leaving or whatever so of course he couldn't leave... I hated sleeping in the same bed worried I'd wake to cum between my legs unable to recall what happened. This never happened with §m£ÂgØL. And he never said that I acted like this in my sleep- worst I'd do is hog the blankets and steal his pillow.) My ex is also a convicted child molester. He raped a 6 year old little girl when he was 15 years old. He had told me about an incident that was supposidly expunged when he was 12-13 years old. His account was that the little girl walked into the bathroom while he was masturbating and she touched his penis(bear in mind his whole family is a bunch of sexual abusers too. His grandparents are married because his grandfather raped his grandmother and she was from a background that you marry the first man you have sex with. His mother's uncle raped her for several years along with her cousin. I believe some of his aunts were sexually abused as kids too. His aunt molested him, my ex, as a child and had a garden hose shoved up his ass at 8 which relsuted in a hospital visit supppisidly nearly killing him and was known about by thw whole family though there was no investigations into his abuse. He claimed his firat sexual experience was in kindergarten where he penetrated another girl with his penis- I took into account that he was a person who had a fucked up childhood and probably didnt see something wrong with a simple 'touch' at that time. Now when I found out the recorded account, the account the he plead guilty to when he was 18 was that he violently raped this little girl. He claimed that he signed the confession without reading it. Before I realized how he was abusing me in my sleep and putting it off on me like I was the person who was doing wrong, I was inclined to believe him, but I realized also at the end that EVERYTHING and I mean everything he told me was a lie. He had no honor or morality. He is a psychopath I believe because he is very good at manipulating people into doing what he wants, making excuses and getting his way. I'll give him this, he could sell ice to Eskimos. I have no doubt that if my son were involved in his life he would be physically and sexually abused at some point. Especially if involved with his family as its proven that they have a whole incestually thing going on with a cycle of abuse. Shit. His mother, and I've witnessed this first hand, would talk about all her lesbian sex life in extreme detail. Shit as a person not related to her I wouldn't want to hear but shed subject her sons and daughter and anyone else she could make listen and laugh about it when any of her kids would say "ew mom I don't want to hear that" and continue on with more. In some way that is a forum of abuse. Shed so it in places like driving where nobody could even leave and get some sick pleasure out of it. It was weird. Who describes in detail getting their pussy ate out with their sons and young daughter present just out of the blue? Toward the end he actually grabbed my son by he's neck and we got in a big fight when I protected him. He was going to kill him or so he said. He then made threats about stirring shit with dfs because I smoked pot. I bidded my time since he was leaving in a few days. He stole a bunch of shit before he left too which was lovely. Sack of shit couldn't leave without my dime and threatened then to make shit for me if I cancelled the ticket to which I had decided shortly after offering that I needed my money for my child. Then he stole more because the ticket he bought was more than I first anticipated even spending. He is a waste of life. He is an abuser. He is a manipulator and fits all the traits of a psycho/sociopath. He's very likeable to most people at first and easy to get along with and my god can he spin a web... Maybe I have my faults but that nigger is just used to hiding and pretending to be a perfect person. Thank godhe got caught early so at least there is a red flag for others.. But most the time they find it its too late and he's already got them under his thumb. Sure he always comes out and tells his story to most people that way if it pops up they aren't thrown for a loop and shun him instantly (most people will sympathize with a victim of abuse who had a 'play doctor' encounter in their childhood but you don't see he was 15 and outright rape this child until you read deeper) but live with him long enough and be careful and you'll catch him in all sorts of stupid lies. It wouldn't surprise me if he was fucking kids behind by back. I don't know that he was nor do I think he did but with all his other deceptive behavior (lying about shit he didn't even have to and getting caught if I did just a little bit of investigating) I often wonder what else he hid from me that I never found out about. He may not of since he had me to fuck like a puppet in my sleep. Meh... Who knows. I am alive today just to ensure that fucker won't ever lay a hand on that child's head again. I'm just tying up lose ends at this point. I love my son more than anything in this world. I would do anything for him. I will protect him and set him up as best as I can before my time on this earth comes to an end.
