There's a chick painting the walls at my mom's house

1. 2022-04-25 at 10:03 PM UTC

   #21
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by WellHung Zooks ur high class. You get ur booze delivered. Do you get tanked with ur madre?

   
   Sometimes we'll have a couple drinks together and watch an episode of FBI, which is kinda cool since I don't bond with family much.
   
   But she mostly just bitches at me for how much I drink.
2. 2022-04-25 at 11:21 PM UTC

   #22
   blaster master victim of incest
3. 2022-04-26 at 2:33 AM UTC

   #23
   

   Aleister Crowley African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Kafka How long is she painting the house for? If it was me I’d mainly ignore them, just say hello that’s it. Maybe only try talking to her when she’s almost done, not flirting, just to find out if she’s with someone, but don’t ask that directly. Idk why I’m trying to help.

   
   Yeah, 37 year old guy that lives with his mother is going to soak her panties.
   
   uh-huh
4. 2022-04-26 at 3:14 AM UTC

   #24
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by blaster master Do you live with your mom?

   
   As of a couple weeks ago after my whole situation with my ex...
   
   I technically have my own apartment I just can't live there right now.
   
   Long story.
5. 2022-04-26 at 3:15 AM UTC

   #25
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Yeah, 37 year old guy that lives with his mother is going to soak her panties.
   
   uh-huh

   
   Pretty much.
   
   Her panties would have almost certainly remained dry, no matter what I said.
6. 2022-04-26 at 3:16 AM UTC

   #26
   

   gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]

   Originally posted by gadzooks As of a couple weeks ago after my whole situation with my ex…
   
   I technically have my own apartment I just can't live there right now.
   
   Long story.

   
   actually I technically have an apartment and an upper level three bedroom suite but I can't really live in either.
7. 2022-04-26 at 3:43 AM UTC

   #27
   

   Lodger Free African Astronaut
   Some ghetto trash said "that white guy looks like the unibomber" and I was the only white person there and the woman stared at me and I kept looking at them and they just walked it off.
   
   I thought I looked like Wonzy
   
   I guess I look like John Wayne Gacey,Jeff Dahmer, And A pale version of Johnny Depp too
   
   
   I should take a shit in that store next time on the toilet paper isle
8. 2022-04-26 at 3:45 AM UTC

   #28
   

   Lodger Free African Astronaut

   Originally posted by gadzooks actually I technically have an apartment and an upper level three bedroom suite but I can't really live in either.

   
   Go natural. Build a tree house and place your mattress precariously on a tree branch. Show that tree who is boss
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Sudo
9. 2022-04-26 at 1:08 PM UTC

   #29
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

   Originally posted by gadzooks Folks, is it sexual harassment if I try to flirt with the painting contractor?

   
   It's probably the painting contractors wife and it's only sexual harassment if you are creepy looking.
10. 2022-04-26 at 1:28 PM UTC

    #30
    

    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]

    Originally posted by Lodger Free Go natural. Build a tree house and place your mattress precariously on a tree branch. Show that tree who is boss

    
    Best non political post I've seen you make in while 11/10
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Lodger Free
11. 2022-04-26 at 1:36 PM UTC

    #31
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    ask if she'd like you to paint her walls
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Iseedivision
12. 2022-04-26 at 2:11 PM UTC

    #32
    

    troon African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Kafka I’d defo be a serial killer in the 70s

    
    youd have been fucked, cos the 70s had my nigga Columbo
13. 2022-04-26 at 2:19 PM UTC

    #33
    

    troon African Astronaut

    Originally posted by aldra ask if she'd like you to paint her walls

    
    or stir her can. Tell her how much he "enjoys making stirring motions", while fully maintaining eye contact.
14. 2022-04-26 at 3:21 PM UTC

    #34
    Iseedivision Houston
    If you can get her alone she won't say no... Because of the implication
15. 2022-04-26 at 4:49 PM UTC

    #35
    

    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

    Originally posted by gadzooks Folks, is it sexual harassment if I try to flirt with the painting contractor?

    
    Just claim she sexually harassed you first.
16. 2022-04-26 at 5:10 PM UTC

    #36
    

    cigreting Dark Matter

    Originally posted by gadzooks As of a couple weeks ago after my whole situation with my ex…
    
    I technically have my own apartment I just can't live there right now.
    
    Long story.

    
    no contact order and your bitch is living in the apt currently?
17. 2022-04-26 at 5:13 PM UTC

    #37
    

    cigreting Dark Matter

    Originally posted by troon or stir her can. Tell her how much he "enjoys making stirring motions", while fully maintaining eye contact.

    
    or stir her soup
18. 2022-04-26 at 5:15 PM UTC

    #38
    WellHung Black Hole

    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Just claim she fucked a nigger.

19. 2022-04-26 at 5:26 PM UTC

    #39
    

    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
    Just say to her "Look, I'm going to be straight with you and not beat around the brush...I can't whitewash over my feelings and I'll love to take you out for a drink in my Roller tonight and we can paint the town red.
20. 2022-04-26 at 6:26 PM UTC

    #40
    

    cigreting Dark Matter
    tell her if its bloody ill take the road thats muddy