2022-04-17 at 6:47 PM UTC
St Johns wort is holy because it's made from the wort of saints
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2022-04-17 at 7:03 PM UTC
Also have experience with Abilify and Zyprexa. Pretty much have the same takeaway as you do. I only agreed to take Abilify because it specifically did not seem to treat my symptoms at all. I took it the entire time I was in jail, and while I was in jail I entertained the belief that people's farts coming from other cells were God communicating with my thoughts (low pitch for "no", high pitch for "yes"). Olanzapine fucking conked me out and I refused to take it. I don't even know if it's an antipsychotic in the same way I'm not sure if coffee is a stimulant - you can't be schizo if you're unconscious, just like you can't sleep if you need to piss every 10 minutes after drinking coffee.
2022-04-17 at 7:10 PM UTC
I woulda thought it'd be high pitch for no.
2022-04-17 at 7:34 PM UTC
Originally posted by Meikai
Smoking meth, doing drugs with a group of kind of shitty people who were taking advantage of my overgenerous lonely autism. They eventually took a little too much advantage and I threatened a girl with a knife to the throat. Oops. This all came on the heels of a previous (much briefer) jail stint during which I met the guy who introduced me to this group - that stint being caused by another drug induced psychotic break.
Someone steals $300 from you and drugs are involved, you can't exactly call the police over it. No going to small claims court to get your money back. Only options are suck it up or knife, and just once I made the foolish decision to choose the latter. They beat the shit out of me, threw me outside, and called the cops. Ahhh, youth.
That’s horrible. I hope they burn in hell. <3
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2022-04-17 at 7:54 PM UTC
Originally posted by Meikai
I mean, I was an autistic weirdo looking for some found family shit, and instead I got some valuable life experiences with completely normal young adult drug users who were at least as nice to me as they weren't. The knife shenanigans on my part were shitty. It's not like they were complete assholes (they were regular assholes though). I had a lot of fun with them. It was a good break from being a loser with no social connections whatsoever, even if it did leave me with more trust issues and less desire for social connections than ever before. 🤷
People have used me to fund their drug habits. Idk I think if you can help a friend then you should but they weren’t like that, and I think the real issue is not hating them. I still haven’t removed some guy from my Netflix account.
I think nostalgia lies though, if you really think there was anything good about the friendships. Phoney friendships are always damaging and only that.
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2022-04-17 at 7:54 PM UTC
You are what life experience makes you into.
2022-04-17 at 7:55 PM UTC
Ig why I tolerated it so much is that they seemed small to me, too pathetic to make me angry.
2022-04-17 at 8:10 PM UTC
Just changed my Netflix password
2022-04-17 at 8:17 PM UTC
Originally posted by Kafka
People have used me to fund their drug habits. Idk I think if you can help a friend then you should but they weren’t like that, and I think the real issue is not hating them. I still haven’t removed some guy from my Netflix account.
I think nostalgia lies though, if you really think there was anything good about the friendships. Phoney friendships are always damaging and only that.
To be fair, I was also funding my own drug habit and doing drugs I would never have been able to do were it not for their company. I was very willing to overlook a lot of shit for that. It was more than drugs though. We chilled, did shitty graffiti, got drunk, laughed together. It was a positive experience in the sense that I hadn't experienced something like that before - never been part of a social
group really.
That said, I've also been very careful ITT to avoid calling them friends/referring to it as friendship. I'm under no nostalgia-blind illusions regarding that (although at the time I was far more naive, obviously).
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2022-04-18 at 1:29 AM UTC
Okay so I changed my Netflix password, and out of the blue he says he found so many of our filthy pics and vids. He has a girlfriend so I think he’s threatening me. I never showed my face in any pics and I didn’t take vids but since he raped me in my sleep it’s possible he took vids. I’m just going to block him.
2022-04-18 at 1:38 AM UTC
thorazine made me fall asleep in the middle of sentences with no warning like someone shot me with a tranquilizer dart
2022-04-18 at 1:56 AM UTC
Idk if I should tell his mum or if that will provoke him, he has adhd.
2022-04-20 at 10:24 PM UTC
I'm not even schitzo or anything but I really enjoy a low dose of amisulpride on top of dopaminergic drugs. Will also snort some p5p to nuke prolactin.
