2017-04-24 at 6:35 AM UTC
Well gonts this is it for me. Its about midnight for me right now and I can't sleep, ive been having panic attacks and crippling anxiety at the thought of leaving the house or going to work.
I can't leave the house, I can't work. My mom is gonna kick me out but I can't even talk to her. I'm gonna do some elaborate lie where I pretend to go to work every day but I actually just walk around and do heroin or something, I think I can do this for about a week before I have to just disapeer from everyone's life forever.
I have thought about killing myself, waiting for a lot of people to get on TC and then slicing my wrists on cam and freaking everyone out.
I just dont know anymore gonts, I have nothing left in me anymore, im done trying. Ive had a good run so far but now its time for me to leave this world forever.
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2017-04-24 at 6:37 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
sounds like you're just in a bad way from the tech, see if you can get your hands on some benzos, sleep for a day or so and you'll feel a lot better
2017-04-24 at 6:40 AM UTC
I plan to sleep for the entire day and miss work.
2017-04-24 at 6:42 AM UTC
I'm sorry to hear you're so down Scrawny. It must be incredibly frustrating to feel so trapped.
Try watching stupid YouTube videos or something until you fall asleep, and then come back to this in the morning. It sounds like you're burnt out.
You do need to make some changes though if you don't want this to continue. I think a lot of your problems stem from your rampant drug usage and poor self regulation. Would you like help in finding local resources? I'm not saying check yourself into rehab, but you might want to seriously consider it. Or at least counseling or whatever.
2017-04-24 at 6:43 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
call in sick, if you get fired you can always get another job when you're better. Getting fired isn't something that's going to fuck you anyway - you haven't been working there that long and it's not an industry-specific thing you need good references for anyway.
I'd doubt you really want to off yourself, you're just mentally zapped.
Also why bother, it's looking pretty likely the missiles will start flying soon anyway
2017-04-24 at 6:55 AM UTC
Just give it a few days away from the drugs and away from work if you can without getting fired and you'll feel better. Everybody needs a break once in a while
All the drugs have released all of your brain's happy chemicals and you just need a couple days for them to start coming back.
2017-04-24 at 6:56 AM UTC
Don't miss work, you'll go down a path you'll regret, if you think about it rationally, and use benzos, which you should have problem getting and using instead of meth and other shit. Rationally, it's not that hard to figure out, you'll probably feel better if you at least try this first.
2017-04-24 at 6:59 AM UTC
^Xanax after meth binge FTW.
2017-04-24 at 7:05 AM UTC
This is part of the reason I gave up meth and started doing benzedrex instead. The comedown/next few days off benzedrex are easily managed with Crouton, phenibut and a couple of beers.
Meth comedowns are seemingly untouchable without copious amounts of benzos or nuking your brain with antipsychotics.
I've been totally laying off the stims myself the last few months, makes a dramatic difference in mental health
2017-04-24 at 7:09 AM UTC
i hate stimulants, and most drugs for that matter after a bit of sober time. when the brain isnt in a toxic state it's easy to see that the anxiety and depression these substances cause is 10x the initial euphoria
2017-04-24 at 7:10 AM UTC
I found some girls on Craigslist down to party they said they will pick me up and take me to their place if I get some blow.
I'm not going to work fuck it I wanna get laid.
"Posted 22 minutes ago
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favorite this post Looking to party tonite - ww4m (my city) hide this posting
3 girls looking to party in the city. Hot and fun brunnetes and blonde. Like to skii"
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2017-04-24 at 7:11 AM UTC
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2017-04-24 at 7:18 AM UTC
You're either about to get robbed or those aren't actually women. Ask for pics + timestamp
Could also be a sting. Do they still do that on Craigslist?
2017-04-24 at 7:29 AM UTC
WELCOMNE TOO THE HELL HOLE
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