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Gravestone humor

  1. #1
    Dissociator African Astronaut
    Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
    Born 1903--Died 1942
    Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
    It was.
    In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
    Here lies an Atheist
    All dressed up
    And no place to go.

    In a Georgia cemetery:
    "I told you I was sick!"

    On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
    Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102
    The Good Die Young.

    In a London, England cemetery:
    Ann Mann
    Here lies Ann Mann,
    Who lived an old maid
    But died an old Mann.
    Dec. 8, 1767

    In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
    Anna Wallace
    The children of Israel wanted bread
    And the Lord sent them manna,
    Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
    And the Devil sent him Anna

    Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
    Here lies Johnny Yeast
    Pardon me For not rising.

    Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
    Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake
    Stepped on the gas
    Instead of the brake.

    In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
    Here lays Butch,
    We planted him raw.
    He was quick on the trigger,
    But slow on the draw.

    A lawyer's epitaph in England:
    Sir John Strange
    Here lies an honest lawyer,
    And that is Strange.

    Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
    I was somebody.
    Who, is no business Of yours.

    Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880s. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
    Here lies Lester Moore
    Four slugs from a .44
    No Les No More.

    John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
    Reader if cash thou art
    In want of any
    Dig 4 feet deep
    And thou wilt find a Penny.

    On Margaret Daniel's grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
    She always said her feet were killing her,
    but nobody believed her.

    In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
    On the 22nd of June
    Jonathan Fiddle -
    Went out of tune.

    Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
    Here lies the body of our Anna
    Done to death by a banana
    It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
    But the skin of the thing that made her go.

    More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
    Gone away
    Owin' more
    Than he could pay.

    On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
    Under the sod and under the trees
    Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
    He is not here, there's only the pod:
    Pease shelled out and went to God.

    The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
    Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

    In a cemetery in England:
    Remember man, as you walk by,
    As you are now, so once was I,
    As I am now, so shall you be,
    Remember this and follow me.
    (To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: )
    To follow you I'll not consent,
    Until I know which way you went.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    i luled
  3. #3
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    I like funny epitaphs.
  4. #4
    this is a good fred
  5. #5
    A friend of mine who lives right across the river from me engraves headstones for a living. Last month he posted thus pic on Failbook of a stencil he made for a marker he was working on.

  6. #6
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    lannys is a cuwaperrer and wont post a pic of herself like the girl he hangout with
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  7. #7
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby lannys is a cuwaperrer and wont post a pic of herself like the girl he hangout with

    Cmon man, at least wait until Lanny posts in a Fred to shit up a Fred.
  8. #8
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby lannys is a cuwaperrer and wont post a pic of herself like the girl he hangout with

    you zaid it gont
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