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How to get out of an apartment lease?

  1. 2022-01-17 at 5 PM UTC
    #1
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Mine isn't up until the 1st of October yet I hope to be long gone by then.
    Any suggestions that are NOT stupid?
  2. 2022-01-17 at 5:02 PM UTC
    #2
    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    smash the place up and smoke a bunch of weed/cook meth
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. 2022-01-17 at 5:04 PM UTC
    #3
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood smash the place up and smoke a bunch of weed/cook meth



    Originally posted by BeeReBuddy Any suggestions that are NOT stupid?
  4. 2022-01-17 at 5:07 PM UTC
    #4
    vindicktive vinny Black Hole
    turn it into a party house.
  5. 2022-01-17 at 5:10 PM UTC
    #5
    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
    Buy out of it is the only non-stupid way.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. 2022-01-17 at 7:22 PM UTC
    #6
    I Live In Your Crawlspace Secretly4 Space Nigga
    Slip youreselft a Mickey and fall asleep with the door cracked open
  7. 2022-01-18 at 1:26 AM UTC
    #7
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole
    You can legally end a fixed lease, without penalty, if you are a victim of sexual or domestic violence. When was the last time you were bum-fucked?
  8. 2022-01-18 at 2:23 AM UTC
    #8
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You can legally end a fixed lease, without penalty, if you are a victim of sexual or domestic violence. When was the last time you were bum-fucked?

    Does it have to be actual physical violence?

    Maybe he could just have someone write a note that says "I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND IM 100% GOING TO RAPE YOU AND KILL YOU UNLESS YOU MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE" and then just pretend that he found it slipped under his door one day.
  9. 2022-01-18 at 2:35 AM UTC
    #9
    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole
    Originally posted by mmQ Does it have to be actual physical violence?

    Maybe he could just have someone write a note that says "I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND IM 100% GOING TO RAPE YOU AND KILL YOU UNLESS YOU MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE" and then just pretend that he found it slipped under his door one day.

    Or squirt a bunch of ketchup on his ass crack and walk backwards with his pants down into the rental office.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. 2022-01-18 at 2:41 AM UTC
    #10
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Or squirt a bunch of ketchup on his ass crack and walk backwards with his pants down into the rental office.

    There should be a day of the year dedicated to just having everyone do this for no specific reason other than it's that day of the year and it's what you do. .
  11. 2022-01-18 at 2:49 AM UTC
    #11
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    Why would lease a place until October?
    Just try talking to your landlord and maybe you can come to a reasonable solution?
  12. 2022-01-18 at 3:20 AM UTC
    #12
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    Try pissing and shitting on the entire surface of the floor everyday until you want to leave. Then say you went on vacation and came home to a disaster that some depraved homeless man obviously did and demand sell of your money back including the deposit and the last year's rent in Swedish zlotys.

    Probably should use your face to make sure you get perfect coverage and maximum spackle detail
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. 2022-01-18 at 3:29 AM UTC
    #13
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Sublet
  14. 2022-01-18 at 3:38 AM UTC
    #14
    Bradley Florida Man
    Get some semen from any source and put it on your windows, door handles, lips and tell the landlord you saw him looking in your window call 911 if he says it wasn't him, they're not gonna take your DNA for a peeper in your window, call the cops a couple times, keep applying more semen to your face and windows. Move out and sue him.

    I've done this many times.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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