2022-01-15 at 3:17 PM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
try to become more comfortable being alone, it'll make you less dependent on other people in the long run
you'll be able to manage relationships without feeling so afraid and desparate not to mess them up, which ironically enough is often what messes them up
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2022-01-15 at 3:27 PM UTC
That’s the thing, I was alone before so I know I can’t go back to that. I stopped thinking people were real, I’m serious. It actually got to the point where I paid some company to text me during class so people wouldn’t think I was friendless. I didn’t know what to say to people when they talked to me because I was convinced they weren’t real. It was a long time ago and I can make friends, I’m an extrovert at times. But yeah being alone isn’t an option for me.
2022-01-15 at 3:38 PM UTC
It’s hard to find decent people. I could go to an AA meeting tonight and make friends but I doubt they’d be good for me. I stopped going after this woman put her hand on my leg.
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2022-01-15 at 3:52 PM UTC
They all fucked up there.
2022-01-16 at 10:06 PM UTC
i mean there's trust issues then theres weird solipsism issues, goddamn.
2022-01-16 at 10:09 PM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
It sounds like you value yourself how others value you. Chin the fuck up it will get better
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2022-01-16 at 10:43 PM UTC
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2022-01-16 at 10:45 PM UTC
“My dear,
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.
Truly yours,
Albert Camus”
I like this because only one part is usually quoted but the full quote has such symmetry. Remember, if you think this pain is all you deserve, you are right, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
You are the only one that can decide how long you will walk in the hell you’ve chosen. You’re worth more, believe it and you’ll make better choices for yourself in the future.
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2022-01-16 at 11:12 PM UTC
RIPtotse
victim of incest
[my adversative decurved garbo]
Delete anything anyone can friend or u friend you on. What the fuck is that?
A real friend can get in a fist fight with you in the morning, od on heroin in the evening, then call you in the morning to see what your doing today to do it all over.
Get off social media fr
2022-01-16 at 11:31 PM UTC
Originally posted by RIPtotse
I don't know you but 12 step bullshit is like the actual worst thing for me.
"OH hey let's turn not having an addiction anymore into an addiction itself!"
Or
"Ya I'm just here cuz my mom would give me 20 bucks to come cuz I made up some shit about them selling something or having food here, sorry I was 20 min late I definitely didn't score before this and I'm really tired but I'm not nodding off I promise. Did you have the first cig break yet? Where's the coffee?"
Fuck that
I remember a looney tunes poster, the bunny dangling from a crane, just it’s hand holding onto it. It said “Let Go. Let God”. Like what just fall to your death?
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2022-01-17 at 12:05 AM UTC
I'm thinking of joining AA just to reinforce my sobriety but it's not something I would ritually attend. Also since being sober my social life sucks cause most associates are fucking drunks and fiends. I'm lay awake thinking of possible scenarios whereby I can drink without relapsing into a massive coke and vodka binge. Like Dr Strange predicting all possible outcomes, all roads lead to me face deep in a bag of Cocaine with Loads of alcohol and women of ill repute.
I do have friends that just drink so as long as I don't go home alone and stay on their couch/ spare room I'm safe from the Cocaine demon.
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2022-01-17 at 12:18 AM UTC
I think you always know the right thing to do and if you listen to that voice you’ll be happy.
