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what is wrong with me
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2022-01-11 at 12:34 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 12:36 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra I never went that hard. 400mg+ tram isn't a lot opiates-wise but it causes all sorts of other problems.
I can get by on .2mg sub a day or so so it's not a big deal, I think it's PAWS that gets me but I have no idea if it'll ever end and I need to actually do things
Man it almost sounds to me like you are being effected more by the nmda agonist part of the opiates you are taking.
Tramadol and all those weird opiates have a lot of effect on a nmda side of things more than the opiate side.
Makes me want to get into pharmacology more again -
2022-01-11 at 12:37 PM UTCCould be worse, you could be a fat ass wiping nigger that invents simps to appease her own sick schizophrenic mind.
Think about that for a second. -
2022-01-11 at 12:43 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 12:47 PM UTC
Originally posted by Aleister Crowley Could be worse, you could be a fat ass wiping nigger that invents simps to appease her own sick schizophrenic mind.
Think about that for a second.
My favorite thing about you is that you abandoned your son because you didn't want to confuse him with your big lactating milkers. -
2022-01-11 at 12:48 PM UTCMe n alderson in the same opiate boat or suboxone submarine if you will
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2022-01-11 at 12:51 PM UTChave you tried smoking a bunch of weed and getting drunk that always makes me feel better
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2022-01-11 at 12:55 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 1:10 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra feel completely detached in any meaningful way to the outside world but I'm not so autistic that I can't function. people generally seem to find me friendly and eloquent enough but without ever making an attempt to really connect. I don't feel that I have a place socially, nor do I feel that human society has a worthwhile future (one that I would be happy to work toward - I know some people like things the way they are, or are happy farming yams and carrying water jugs several kilometers a day).
I often consider opting out not because life is too hard or painful, but because there's very little I care about and grinding through another 50 years or so just seems pointless because unless I do something very, very bad, I'll leave nothing behind. The only reason I haven't already is probably just because I don't want to hurt the few other people I care about. And my cats.
I don't want to talk to those people I care about because I'm afraid trying to explain the things that led me to this state of mind could have an extremely negative on their own 'mental health'.
I'll answer whatever questions you have that won't lead to people being able to reach out offline (ie swatting, telling my boss or mother my favourite word is 'nigger' etc.). Or just troll I guess, I don't really care. I haven't been in great shape mentally for the last few weeks, and eating strips of etizolam seems to have made things worse rather than better (surprise)
Apathy that comes with getting older...next. -
2022-01-11 at 2:38 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 2:48 PM UTCCandy rein u got some boobs on ur picture by accident
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2022-01-11 at 3:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood have you tried smoking a bunch of weed and getting drunk that always makes me feel better
I've been experimenting with suboxone in the vape
got some new 'caramel popcorn cheesecake' vape liquid the other day, wanted to taste it before mixing anything in so I emptied out the tank and put a little of the new liquid in.
went out to the car to try and glue down some fabric that came loose on the ceiling, did a bunch of hits at different wattages to see what had the best flavour
forgot that I didn't change the coil out when I cleaned the tank, and that I'd been using it for THC liquid a few weeks back. accidentally got so high that I somehow turned on the child lock and couldn't get out so I passed out in the back seat -
2022-01-11 at 3:04 PM UTCLol ^^
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2022-01-11 at 3:23 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra feel completely detached in any meaningful way to the outside world but I'm not so autistic that I can't function. people generally seem to find me friendly and eloquent enough but without ever making an attempt to really connect. I don't feel that I have a place socially, nor do I feel that human society has a worthwhile future (one that I would be happy to work toward - I know some people like things the way they are, or are happy farming yams and carrying water jugs several kilometers a day).
I often consider opting out not because life is too hard or painful, but because there's very little I care about and grinding through another 50 years or so just seems pointless because unless I do something very, very bad, I'll leave nothing behind. The only reason I haven't already is probably just because I don't want to hurt the few other people I care about. And my cats.
I don't want to talk to those people I care about because I'm afraid trying to explain the things that led me to this state of mind could have an extremely negative on their own 'mental health'.
I'll answer whatever questions you have that won't lead to people being able to reach out offline (ie swatting, telling my boss or mother my favourite word is 'nigger' etc.). Or just troll I guess, I don't really care. I haven't been in great shape mentally for the last few weeks, and eating strips of etizolam seems to have made things worse rather than better (surprise)
what do you mean by opting out? suicide? personally, i would prefer to live in an isolated temple and would die a happy boy if i never had to interact with another human being again.
was your descent into depersonalization gradual or bumpy like mine? i ask because i was gonna suggest that you red pill yourself as soon as possible to the reality you live in and accept it. you will suffer a devastating period of rage and depression but it will get better from there.
you must understand you arent alone and that alienation is the status quo right now, with hypercapitalism creating a billion different microcults so billionaires can sell to a diversified market of lunatics who need to feed their delusions. keeps society divided and conquered plus brings in profits, so a double win for the globalist elite.
you no longer need to be the "oppressed free thinker" type to be heavily alienated, a recent survey showed that 70% of people do not know their next door neighbors.
there is no community anymore, you need to accept and adapt. find a passion and pursue it, keep in contact with the few people you know, take good care of your pets who unlike majority of people will love you unconditionally.
most important of all, lower your standards. the more you expect from the dysfunctional, fucktarded clownworld show today, the more you will unnecessarily depress yourself. -
2022-01-11 at 3:24 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 3:30 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 4:02 PM UTCi gave your mom an opana before i fucked her in the ass OP
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2022-01-11 at 4:17 PM UTCI don't think there's much wrong with you except maybe your attitude. You seem depressed and nihilistic to me, and I don't really think that's a problem, you're an intelligent person living in a depressing world, but you could do well to change your attitude about it. I like to think it's not the cards you've been dealt but how you play the game.
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2022-01-11 at 4:19 PM UTC
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2022-01-11 at 4:32 PM UTC