2015-11-26 at 8:51 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
Whats the difference between a Mexican and a gay Mexican?
About 3 beers
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I was at a hotel in dallas after seeing a neon indian show, and the bellhop came up with my luggage. I asked him wheres some of the best bars to get some ass down here.
He said "uh you mean like women?"
and I said "of course I mean women, if I was a fucking faggot I'd just walk to the bus stop."
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I went to a house party with my gf, she was being a whore and squatting over some drunk passed out guys face while wearing a mini skirt. People were taking pictures and posting them on facebook.
I've been known to be a mysoginist,so I spoke to her in private. I was like "wtf are you doing? you're embarrassing me" she was like " hey lol whats wrong? calm down, we're just having fun fly boi!!"
2 weeks later she comes home from work and "catches" me fucking a hooker on our bed. She starts screaming and crying hysterically. While fucking the hooker, I say, "hey whats wrong lol, we're just having fun, you knew I was a fly boi when you met me!"
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I was getting drunk with my friend and a new neighbor. we decided to get a whore off craigslist to come over. I didn't have any money but they were willing to throw in the money so we could all have a lil fun. The girl comes over, her pimp is sitting in the car waiting. She collects the 300 and says prostitution is illegal and she's not going to fuck any of us. but Is willing to give us each an individual private show... I immediately start undressing, while the other 2 guys say "omg what are you doing, that's gay mane, ewww" she compliments my tattoos and my no bullshit attitude, so she takes me into my neighbors bedroom. She forgets that she is supposed to be a cock tease and just jumps on my dick.
she tells me to not tell the other guys I fucked her until she leaves. To confirm she isn't a more trifling whore than she's already proven herself to be I walk in on the friend when its his turn. And he's only getting a back massage with his shirt off and his pants still on.. She turns around and gives me a look of "fuck off"
My neighbor gets his "turn" and she comes out, I pick her up and drop her, she leaves. My neighbor says '' lol faggots I got her number, so we can do something together by ourselves with out you faggots."
I say "haha only I fucked her and you two dumbasses paid for it. Looks like it took a whore and two pimps to make you two look like a couple of simps"
add some jokes guys
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2015-11-27 at 1:13 AM UTC
What did the pirate rate the movie? Arrrrr. Nigga.
2015-11-27 at 7:57 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
^i dont say this often.. but go kil yourself fagjit
2015-11-27 at 8:19 PM UTC
This whole thread should kill itself.
2017-04-11 at 11:28 PM UTC
like seriously, i dont actually get half those so called jokes.
2017-04-11 at 11:35 PM UTC
I think most of them are just real life experiences from his... You know, life. Except he added a punchline-sounding sentence at the end to make it into a "joke".
2017-04-12 at 12:41 AM UTC
Ok fuck it I'll tell a joke.
Back in the day I used to work front desk on the night shift at a hotel around 6th and Mission in San Francisco. It's basically the most ghetto part of the city, google it. You see some weird shit around there late at night.
So one time this blondish redhead chick stumbles in around 2 in the morning wearing these sexy ass skin-tight jeans and a zip up winter jacket (it's always cold in SF, even in the summer). She kinda looked like the daughter from that show Castle if you've ever seen it. I figured she was just drunk or whatever coming from one of the bars or clubs nearby after last call and just looking for a place to crash. But no, after talking to her more and more I realized it was more likely she crawled out of one of the local crackhouses.
She started off mumbling something about being mugged and how they took her purse and cell phone and shit. She was clearly disoriented so I offered to call the cops for her but she started getting all squirrelly. Then she goes on about how she has trouble focusing sometimes because of brain calcification induced by government experiments performed on her, but she also gained mild telekinetic powers as a result.
So now at this point I'm kind of just trying to find different polite ways to tell her to get the fuck outta here, but she just won't leave. Eventually she says she just needs a place to stay for the night and doesn't have anywhere else to go. So I tell her how is she gonna stay here if she don't have any fuckin money?
Without a word she starts slowly unzipping her jacket to reveal she's completely fucking naked underneath, no bra or anything, just her bare pale titties. And they were nothing to write home about, but I'm more of an ass man myself anyway. So like I said she doesn't say shit but I can see it in her eyes that she's basically tryna suck some dick to get a free room.
So I put up the "back in 15 minutes" sign, took the keys to an unoccupied room, led her upstairs and fucked her god damn brains out.
The funny part is after she passed out, I just picked her up, took her outside and dumped her ass on the sidewalk around the corner. Lol. Changed the bed sheets, it's like it never happened.
2017-04-12 at 10:35 AM UTC
shuda carried on pounding that bubble butt all night while she slept.
2017-04-12 at 10:41 AM UTC
Yeah right you are all aldras. Everyone who joined this year is an altdra.. Even totse2001... fuck yall...
trust no1
