I love my dog.

1. 2021-03-31 at 3:10 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Data African Astronaut
   He is just such a good boy. 15yrs old and he still comes running to greet me and to eat. Occasionally he will run around in the grass. He has cataracts, is very lumpy due to fluid buildup from his enlarged heart, and he smells like fish all the time. But I love him.
   
   In the morning he does this thing where I crouch down to pet him and he slowly backs his entire body into my embrace until I am basically hugging him. He also likes to position himself so that my scratches go behind his ears.
   
   He sits, comes, and high fives on command. Sometimes he doesn't hear or see me though, and I will have to give him a tap. If he sees or hears it, he always listens. He is a very good boy like that.
   
   Every day for lunch I give him a hard boiled egg or half a cup or so of chicken. He gobbles it up.
   
   He is so old and I know he's probably going to die in the next year or two, but I'm glad I got 15 years of such a good and gentle dog. He doesn't even steal food if I leave it out at his level. He will just stare at it till I return. He rings a bell to go outside.
   
   Such a good, good dog. I love him so much. I would kill any one of you just to have an extra year with my dog.
   
   I hope he knows how special he is to me. I wish he would live forever. I am going to go give him an egg.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • netstat
2. 2021-03-31 at 3:11 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Go jerk him off if you like him so much
3. 2021-03-31 at 3:12 PM UTC

   #3
   

   Data African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Solstice Go jerk him off if you like him so much

   
   I do every morning and every night because he has erectile dysfunction and can not get off otherwise.
4. 2021-03-31 at 4:19 PM UTC

   #4
   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Dogs are dumb and he only likes you because you feed him...he'll eat your corpse if you were to die with him locked in your room.
5. 2021-03-31 at 4:36 PM UTC

   #5
   

   Data African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Dogs are dumb and he only likes you because you feed him…he'll eat your corpse if you were to die with him locked in your room.

   
   He likes people whether they feed him or not. He is just that good of a boy.
   
   Of course he would eat my corpse. I would want him to. Would you not? Dog has to eat. I would eat my corpse too.
6. 2021-03-31 at 4:44 PM UTC

   #6
   

   POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
   I had an old dog that stunk so bad the buzzards would sit on the roof and watch her sleep out in the yard
7. 2021-03-31 at 4:57 PM UTC

   #7
   

   Kal Joose Tuskegee Airman
   they´re waiting for the dogs long nap
8. 2021-03-31 at 4:59 PM UTC

   #8
   netstat African Astronaut
   edited for privacy
9. 2021-03-31 at 5:15 PM UTC

   #9
   

   Data African Astronaut

   Originally posted by netstat i still miss my childhood dog that died years ago
   
   unlike most humans dogs are not malicious schemers with complex needs and deceptive motivations, they're straightforward and loyal companions
   
   everyone should have a dog trained to kill on command

   
   Dogs know how to lie and decieve by adjusting body language, but they are usually hilariously bad at it.
10. 2021-03-31 at 5:51 PM UTC

    #10
    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

    Originally posted by Data He likes people whether they feed him or not. He is just that good of a boy.
    
    Of course he would eat my corpse. I would want him to. Would you not? Dog has to eat. I would eat my corpse too.

    
    No, I'd want it to die of heartache.
11. 2021-03-31 at 5:51 PM UTC

    #11
    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole

    Originally posted by Data I do every morning and every night because he has erectile dysfunction and can not get off otherwise.

    
    How did you determine he had ED in the first place??
12. 2021-03-31 at 5:53 PM UTC

    #12
    

    Data African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson How did you determine he had ED in the first place??

    
    He stopped getting hard when he would lick peanutbutter off my dick. That is how I knew something was wrong.
13. 2021-03-31 at 5:54 PM UTC

    #13
    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
    I see
14. 2021-03-31 at 6:02 PM UTC

    #14
    

    Data African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson I see

    
    I love my dog
15. 2021-03-31 at 6:20 PM UTC

    #15
    

    Kal Joose Tuskegee Airman
    Your dog says he wishes you would just stop being selfish and take him to the vet to put him in his final sleep
16. 2021-03-31 at 6:22 PM UTC

    #16
    

    Data African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Kal Joose Your dog says he wishes you would just stop being selfish and take him to the vet to put him in his final sleep

    
    I do not think that is true because he was very happy when I gave him a slice of ham earlier. I know he has health problems but he is willing to fight through them to play and eat, as a good boy does. When his time is here, and he is ready to go, I will gladly put him to sleep. He has earned his rest.