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They tried to arrest me for stealing.

  1. #1
    Bradley Black Hole
    So I go to walmart not to steal, like to get good deals and some lemons. I drink lemon water.

    So I'm in the back, puttzin with stuff, Maybe I did have my shirt up and maybe there was some product goin some dodgey places

    i was finna purchase that! But not when you makin me all uncomfortable and shit watchin me steal and what not.

    ABORT MISSION. Mind you I'm drunk as shit, i'm still a little drunk.

    So I'm walkin out, and I'm in a like a racing jacket IDK what you call them. I bought it for my boy whose a mechanic, it's dale earnhardt or his dad or some shit. Anyway, point being it's a tight fitting jacket and I was free ballin eqiuvalent of a shirt.

    I'm walkin out, and this kid grabs me by my left arm. Now when I say kid, this boy looks about 16. I grab his arm with my left hand, and use my left hand on his bicep and say "What the fuck you grabbin me for"

    We walk up he's sputtering his words. I got a fuckin death grip on his bicwep, squeezing like it getting milked, i'm making him explain tot he CSM that he grabbed me.

    We're callin the cops.

    We're lockin shit down.

    We're shuttin shit up.

    He said somethings under my shirt. Now I"m in the front of walmart at 8pm on a friday, half naked, demanding to know what's under my shirt that he stopped me and grabbed me.

    Tried calling walmart, was told "Shelly" who doesn't know her last name, doesn't know what her position ("ARe you sure ma'am? Walmart.com said to call and get your name and position, but you don't have a last name or a job title?") simultaneously my attornies callin and shit.

    So basically shelly who doesn't havea last name, doesn't know who her manager is, doesn't know when the manager works there, and doesn't know whot he young man who grabbed me is.

    *half way through*

    "Bitch I told you this shits all recorded, can you stop tripping over your own words, please? You're not making sense."

    Then I drove to target.

    God Bless my dead.
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  2. #2
    Bradley Black Hole
    They asked me if I wanna press charges and my attorney told them, yes. They're charging him with battery and I hope I get paid from this
  3. #3
    cigreting Dark Matter
    😂😂😂
  4. #4
    Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    A drunk indivudal who looks like a Viking wearing a skin tight Dale Earnhardt jacket is exactly what I expect to see when I go to Walmart
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #5
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Damn, you a straight up hoodlum. How a nigga live.
  6. #6
    cigreting Dark Matter
    wher wer d dogy places m8
  7. #7
    You're going to own that walmart store soon enough and let's just say it's QUITE lucrative. The fun part is you don't have to follow head quarters vision for the store and you can start putting up motiffs and busts and murals
  8. #8
    stl1 Cum Lickin' Fagit
    It seems that this video may help you. OP.



    lol
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #9
    Ghost Black Hole
    cook a batch of shake and bake in the walmart its not illegal, it's not stealing
  10. #10
    Bradley Black Hole
    These niggas hate the same thing they bitches love.
  11. #11
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by Bradley These niggas hate the same thing they bitches love.

    It do be like that doe.
  12. #12
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Itt Bradley is a thief that's mother won't give him money
  13. #13
    Quick Mix Ready Dark Matter [jealously defalcate my upanishad]
    Originally posted by Bradley So I go to walmart not to steal, like to get good deals and some lemons. I drink lemon water.

    So I'm in the back, puttzin with stuff, Maybe I did have my shirt up and maybe there was some product goin some dodgey places

    i was finna purchase that! But not when you makin me all uncomfortable and shit watchin me steal and what not.

    ABORT MISSION.

    I really suffer from ADHD or Adult version of ADD

    And Im not saying this to be apart of a trope to make this statement. Though it kind of works. That was too difficult to understand. I read it 3 fucking time (the first 4-5 lines) and all I could get out of this was you were pulling your shirt up while drunk and shoving Lemons in your butt

    so you aborted your mission and put the lemons back? what the fuck is wrong with you?
  14. #14
    Quick Mix Ready Dark Matter [jealously defalcate my upanishad]
    Totse had read-me how toos of all kind of college pranks and they often talked about stealing (as in not the right forum but it goes together because college kids are broke ass fucks.. especially foreign exchange kids)

    one was to take shit out of a box, take another thing out of the box that is of the same type (eg: a cheap bluetooth device vs a very very expensive where the cheap looks like a knockoff)

    an when you walk out the door, if the device has a hidden censor and sets off the exit theft censor. just show the security guy it. most of the time they see you have nothing else and just let it go¨

    when you get home, drop off the item and then go back to the store and say this box was previously open and when you opened it, only crunched up cardboard insert was inside
    get your money back.

    this way if they know you´re BSing them, they wont arrest you or call the cops. it is kind of embarrassing at this point. that you´re a piece of shit who steals and thinks theyŕe crafty. I personally hate thieves but this one is kind of funny. Its kind of Embezzling or something isnt it? i dont know what law would apply
  15. #15
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    This world doesn't have anywhere near enough bodies buried in concrete.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. #16
    Solstice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Quick Mix Ready Totse had read-me how toos of all kind of college pranks and they often talked about stealing (as in not the right forum but it goes together because college kids are broke ass fucks.. especially foreign exchange kids)

    one was to take shit out of a box, take another thing out of the box that is of the same type (eg: a cheap bluetooth device vs a very very expensive where the cheap looks like a knockoff)

    an when you walk out the door, if the device has a hidden censor and sets off the exit theft censor. just show the security guy it. most of the time they see you have nothing else and just let it go¨

    when you get home, drop off the item and then go back to the store and say this box was previously open and when you opened it, only crunched up cardboard insert was inside
    get your money back.

    this way if they know you´re BSing them, they wont arrest you or call the cops. it is kind of embarrassing at this point. that you´re a piece of shit who steals and thinks theyŕe crafty. I personally hate thieves but this one is kind of funny. Its kind of Embezzling or something isnt it? i dont know what law would apply

    A common one is box stuffing, done with two people.

    Person one goes in, finds a large boxed item like a vaccuum, open the box enough to stuff some small valuables into the box, then they leave the store.

    Person two goes in a bit later, finds the tampered vaccuum/whatever box (person 1 marks it somehow), and buys that item legit. Take it home, dump all the good shit out then return the vaccuum for your money back.

    Person 1 never leaves the store with merch and person 2 can just play dumb if the shit in the box is found somehow because they were just trying to buy a vaccuum.
  17. #17
    Bradley Black Hole
    niggers im not looking for advice
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #18
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by Bradley niggers im not looking for advice

    We'll give it to you anyway. And there is nothing you can do to stop us.
  19. #19
    Bradley Black Hole
    Originally posted by Sophie We'll give it to you anyway. And there is nothing you can do to stop us.

    Sometimes I wonder what you look like and want you to know I will fuck you as hard as I can because of your personality.

    Unless you're really fat, tbh, I imagine you being like a 110lb elf man.
  20. #20
    Quick Mix Ready Dark Matter [jealously defalcate my upanishad]
    Originally posted by Donald Trump This world doesn't have anywhere near enough bodies buried in concrete.

    look under target. it makes a great semi sudo facto reality
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