2017-03-24 at 8:48 PM UTC
I tried to figure out what made the forum so shitty and I believe it's the lack of Malice's obsessed stimulant posts about well, whatever fucking stuff he obsessed over at that time. Mostly substances that would fuel his obsessions.
Flappy Bird - I beat every highscore stimulant Malice, where are you?! The forum needs your Autism.
2017-03-24 at 8:57 PM UTC
Malice got pretty lame after he hit the weed and booze hard.
2017-03-24 at 9:28 PM UTC
noaw come diaaah wwont nun of dem pin pong balls me duna yaa
2017-03-24 at 9:33 PM UTC
I've gradually lost more and more interest in the world over the years, have had less desire to share my thoughts about anything. What a terrible time to have been born, earlier and it may have become clear that transcendence would never arrive in time and what would be best is a quick death, yet too soon you may have wait decades being ground through this monstrosity just for a chance, only to confirm the final question: Is there a reason to continue to exist?
Just as Nietzsche recounted:
There is an old legend that king Midas for a long time hunted the wise Silenus, the companion of Dionysus, in the forests, without catching him. When Silenus finally fell into the king’s hands, the king asked what was the best thing of all for men, the very finest. The daemon remained silent, motionless and inflexible, until, compelled by the king, he finally broke out into shrill laughter and said these words, “Suffering creature, born for a day, child of accident and toil, why are you forcing me to say what would give you the greatest pleasure not to hear? The very best thing for you is totally unreachable: not to have been born, not to exist, to be nothing. The second best thing for you, however, is this — to die soon.”
The impossible dream and my greatest desire, never to have been.
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2017-03-24 at 9:34 PM UTC
free da mariwana he wonts lsd
2017-03-24 at 9:52 PM UTC
Maybe you should try something different Malice. Even if you tell yourself it's pointless, just get a hooker or summin
2017-03-24 at 9:52 PM UTC
But don't go all creepy and stalkerish after and end up chopping her up and disposing of the pieces
2017-03-24 at 10:15 PM UTC
You aren't allowed to have real drugs they all belong to me
2017-03-24 at 10:26 PM UTC
I refuse to have any involvement with women. I won't even touch them past an obligatory handshake. Men aren't an option either. The human notion of love, mediated through the biological, is an absolute farce relative to the ideal. Humanity is unacceptable, life is unacceptable, I want nothing to do with it.
Happiness isn't a goal, self-improvement isn't my goal, all that matters to me is the endpoint, the journey is meaningless.
Fortunately the results for my Nardil/phenelzine powder should be available quite soon, so perhaps I will feel differently. I already know why I'm so depressed, what it would take to change this into a "healthy" well functioning state where the will could best be enacted, but what this struggle has largely come down to over the years is a refusal to be human, one of my most hated things, just below the creation of life.
Maybe eventually I'll become a drifter and continually run away, keep myself distracted, from the emptiness and burden of existence.
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2017-03-24 at 10:29 PM UTC
^this is what drugs and autism does to a human being
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2017-03-24 at 10:38 PM UTC
I'm not talking about love, just, idk, do anything. Make yourself have some type of legacy, even if it's fucked up. Move out to the desert and become the greatest drug manufacturer ever or some shit. The journey might be meaningless, but if you think like that, why not just kill yourself now? I don't mean that in a bad way, but if you're just waiting for the end, what are you waiting for?
2017-03-24 at 10:39 PM UTC
If you didn't think there was hope, you'd already be dead
2017-03-24 at 10:42 PM UTC
^this
regardless of your nihilism, theres gotta be something that makes you happy or else you wouldnt keep getting out of bed
2017-03-24 at 11:24 PM UTC
Originally posted by reject
If you didn't think there was hope, you'd already be dead
Yes, hope for the singularity, assimilation into AI, even just better drugs, possibly brain implants, new classes of procedures, that could make like far more bearable, increase the basal hedonic tone.
Started the day off with .75mg clonazopam, 20mg NSI-189, a cup of poppy seed tea, then a few hours later, recently, I drank another cup of PST.
What really made the starkest difference was this:
https://www.leafly.com/indica/do-si-dosCookies family genetics crossed with a particularly strong cut of OG kush with stronger body effects. Only $20g for shatter. I'd like to make edibles out of this.
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2017-03-24 at 11:27 PM UTC
Originally posted by cerakote
^this
regardless of your nihilism, theres gotta be something that makes you happy or else you wouldnt keep getting out of bed
That isn't true, there are many other things other than happiness that keep countless numbers of people from staying in bed or committing suicide. A fear of death that overcomes your disdain for the suffering of life, feeling an obligation towards others, particularly family/children, religious beliefs.
Staying alive isn't a sign that there's a single thing in this world that makes you happy.
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2017-03-24 at 11:36 PM UTC
If you try to kill yourself survival instinct kicks in and adrenaline boots up and it forces you to stay alive whether you like it or not, thats why you have to get really intoxicated to block out these strong chemicals in your body or do it quick. but people do survive some crazy shit sometimes.
We are meant to stand the harshness of space so there is no telling what we can do.
Glutamine affecting superdrugs and nootropics are the future of evolution and transhumanism.
2017-03-24 at 11:47 PM UTC
Is Malice still a lolbergtarian?
