it's so hard keeping in touch with anybody really with anything furthermore take for example my fertile relationship with my very elderly grandmother i go to visit her all the time monday tuesday wednesday etc you get the idea i see her a lot because i love her & i want her to die in the worst way, you cannot imagine how patient i've been & how badly i want this, all i've ever prayed for is granny's last fall, all i've ever worked toward is the dissolution of her body in the most complete manner conceivable i mean there wouldn't even be a stain