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Had a really nice dream...
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2017-03-16 at 5:22 PM UTC
Originally posted by reject Why would you have the balls off and not the dick?
Do you ever regret your choice?
Because at this point they're basically useless anyway and they're really fucking ugly and annoying.
And I don't regret going through with it, but I do feel like a lost cause romantically as a result. I mean I'm pretty sure this has ensured that I'm going to be celibate for life, so like... eh. No regrets, but maybe it hasn't all been for the best. -
2017-03-16 at 5:22 PM UTC
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2017-03-16 at 5:25 PM UTC
Originally posted by Phoenix Because at this point they're basically useless anyway and they're really fucking ugly and annoying.
And I don't regret going through with it, but I do feel like a lost cause romantically as a result. I mean I'm pretty sure this has ensured that I'm going to be celibate for life, so like… eh. No regrets, but maybe it hasn't all been for the best.
Idk, I'm pretty sure you could find somebody on Tumblr -
2017-03-16 at 5:31 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Probably a very, very fucked up childhood.
My childhood was so normal it's unreal. Maybe that's what did it. It was very, very normal. Weirdly normal. Like a lot of famous serial killers come from stable, normal, functional families.
Originally posted by Dargo Yeah, but what made you go from 'I'm a dude' one day to 'I'm now a tranny who's going to lop his balls off'?
I have a lot of theories on that, but honestly I don't know. Could be because I like men and think being gay is for faggots. Also like... just my preferred aesthetic? Maybe some crossed wires? "I think women are beautiful, I want to be beautiful, so I should try to be more like a woman."
All I know is when I was 5 or 6 I dreamed I was a little girl and I remember it being so nice that I asked my grandpa how I could control what I was going to dream about at night because I wanted to go back to that dream. All he told me was to think about it really hard as you're falling asleep, and I spent like months doing that to no avail. I wore my mom's shoes as a little kid until I got caught. Crossdressed as a teen. I am a cliché. -
2017-03-16 at 5:34 PM UTCOk. You do realize though, you'll never actually be a woman though - right?
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2017-03-16 at 5:35 PM UTC
Originally posted by reject Idk, I'm pretty sure you could find somebody on Tumblr
I probably wouldn't fuck anyone who'd fuck me. Or love anyone who'd love me. I'm like simultaneously voluntarily and involuntarily celibate. The people I want to be with don't want me and the people I despise love me.
Originally posted by Dargo Ok. You do realize though, you'll never actually be a woman though - right?
Yeah, I'm not insane. Best I can do is get spiritual about it. An "I'm doing this for next time I'm alive..." kind of thing. -
2017-03-16 at 5:45 PM UTCYou are batshit insane. You spend your life infront of a webcam with guys who humiliate you and don't even get paid.
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2017-03-16 at 5:47 PM UTC
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2017-03-16 at 5:50 PM UTC
Originally posted by Phoenix My childhood was so normal it's unreal.
Normal =/= good. Were you raised by a single parent? Were you, as a child often left in daycare? Were your parents on welfare?
Originally posted by Phoenix I want to be beautiful, so I should try to be more like a woman.
Why'd you think you weren't sufficiently "beautiful" the way you were in the first place?
Originally posted by Phoenix All I know is when I was 5 or 6 I dreamed I was a little girl and I remember it being so nice that I asked my grandpa how I could control what I was going to dream about at night because I wanted to go back to that dream. All he told me was to think about it really hard as you're falling asleep, and I spent like months doing that to no avail. I wore my mom's shoes as a little kid until I got caught. Crossdressed as a teen. I am a cliché.
That's rather unusual. -
2017-03-16 at 6:08 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Normal =/= good. Were you raised by a single parent? Were you, as a child often left in daycare? Were your parents on welfare?
2 parent household, 2 cars, suburban cul-de-sac house. As a young child I definitely had a nanny I was left with, and then a different babysitter until I was about 8.
Originally posted by Sophie Why'd you think you weren't sufficiently "beautiful" the way you were in the first place?
I actually think I was pretty handsome, to be honest. I was a decent looking dude, masculine, average height. Solid 6 or 7 out of 10. The aesthetic just didn't fit me? I don't know. I didn't hate it really. Playing around with different styles of facial hair got boring. Of course, this new aesthetic I'm aiming for doesn't fit me either but... well, it's nicer. I'm just playing around hoping for a body I like. Aesthetic is the main thing, I think. Vanity. Why do body builders body build? I think there's probably a similar reason that played a role in my decision.
Originally posted by Sophie That's rather unusual.
Yeah. I didn't tell him specifically what the dream was, so it's not like he was encouraging me to be a little queer, but the fact that it was so powerful an experience that I was asking how to lucid dream at age 5 probs has a lot to do with where I'm at today.
I've been a girl once already. Just... in a dream. A long time ago. -
2017-03-16 at 6:29 PM UTCDid you ever get fucked and treated like a girl?
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2017-03-16 at 6:29 PM UTCYou should kill yourself on cam
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2017-03-16 at 6:31 PM UTC
Originally posted by RisiR Did you ever get fucked and treated like a girl?
Nope. :(
Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump You should kill yourself on cam
Yep. :)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zbw3KzgHBU -
2017-03-16 at 6:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by Phoenix 2 parent household, 2 cars, suburban cul-de-sac house. As a young child I definitely had a nanny I was left with, and then a different babysitter until I was about 8.
I actually think I was pretty handsome, to be honest. I was a decent looking dude, masculine, average height. Solid 6 or 7 out of 10. The aesthetic just didn't fit me? I don't know. I didn't hate it really. Playing around with different styles of facial hair got boring. Of course, this new aesthetic I'm aiming for doesn't fit me either but… well, it's nicer. I'm just playing around hoping for a body I like. Aesthetic is the main thing, I think. Vanity. Why do body builders body build? I think there's probably a similar reason that played a role in my decision.
Yeah. I didn't tell him specifically what the dream was, so it's not like he was encouraging me to be a little queer, but the fact that it was so powerful an experience that I was asking how to lucid dream at age 5 probs has a lot to do with where I'm at today.
I've been a girl once already. Just… in a dream. A long time ago.
Interesting. They should study how sexual identity develops in children tbh. -
2017-03-16 at 6:37 PM UTCSure is nice having unlimited money I'm gonna chug more beer and bundy when I get home, smoke like 50 bowls from my ounce and buy some crystal meth then go to the bar with my zomrades and make a video of me eating 100 bundy pills to post on Instagram for rusty coathanger to see.
Then I'm gonna stay awake all night and wait for my $900 to land in the bank and take the day off work tomorrow.
Every day I wake up and live life as scrawny and not some degenerate sex freak I thank God every day, he must really have a plan for me. -
2017-03-16 at 6:37 PM UTCI literally know the solution to your problems.
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2017-03-16 at 6:38 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Interesting. They should study how sexual identity develops in children tbh.
I agree. I also, for the record, agree these guys: https://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/gender-ideology-harms-children
I'm glad I grew up before being trans was (practically) encouraged or I'd probably doubt my decision more, ironically. -
2017-03-16 at 6:42 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Interesting. They should study how sexual identity develops in children tbh.
I guess some people are just wired differently. It is kinda interesting how people develop into being tranny/gay, like what makes them go against the basic instinct to reproduce. I've never really read into anything about what changes in the brain or hormones -
2017-03-16 at 6:43 PM UTC
Originally posted by Phoenix I agree. I also, for the record, agree these guys: https://www.acpeds.org/the-college-speaks/position-statements/gender-ideology-harms-children
I'm glad I grew up before being trans was (practically) encouraged or I'd probably doubt my decision more, ironically.
I agree with them too.When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such.
Ergo being a transsexual is equivalent to having a mental disorder. No offense. -
2017-03-16 at 6:45 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Ergo being a transsexual is equivalent to having a mental disorder. No offense.
None taken. Kind of agree. I remember someone telling me that many transgender individuals lose interest in transitioning with low doses of antipsychotic medication.
I'm also glad I grew up early enough that I had the freedom to make this choice.
