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Save two souls for the price of one!

  1. #1
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Save & Ordain Two Souls for One Price!

    This is a SEVENTH-EVER Church of the SubGenius ORDAINMENT SALE! You know the last one must have worked out great, or that we're again desperate and crazy enough to make this UTTERLY INSANE OFFER!

    BUY 1 GET 1 FREE! -- from Slack Friday (Nov. 27) through Xistlessnessmess (Dec. 24 deadline)

    TWO SubGenius Ordainment kits for only $35! Save yourself and a loved one!
    -- OR save a loved one plus a deceased ancestor!
    -- OR save a beloved pet or potted plant AND a total stranger -- or a hated famous person at random!
    -- OR just keep the kits yourself, thus DENYING salvation to TWO DESPISED ENEMIES!

    It's entirely up to you!

    (If one or both are meant to be a gift, tell us where to send what in the Customer Instructions section on the payment page!)

    This isn’t just a few sheets of paper in a folder! It’s MANY sheets of paper in a folder, along with extremely impressive several densely-printed pamphlets, two 11x17” framable (and dense!) certificates, two vinyl stickers, the keen Minister’s Card itself, and a metal pin! There’s even a little postcard you fill out and mail or email back. AND these are the first Membership Packs that have the GLAMOROUS NEW SMALL-TOWN TEXAS ADDRESS on everything!

    It’s the only way to get into the PRIVATE SubGenius forum, Scrubgenius!

    Offer Ends Dec. 24, "2020” AND THE PRICE GOES UP IN 2021! (For the first time in ten years)

    CLICK HERE:
    http://www.subgenius.com/scatalog/membership.htm

    (Note - you can ALSO buy the standard single Membership/Ordainment Kit there so BE CAREFUL!)

  2. #2
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    What are you selling?
  3. #3
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by BeeReBuddy What are you selling?

    Eternal salvation, or triple your money back.
  4. #4
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    You literally cannot lose!
  5. #5
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Originally posted by Donald Trump Eternal salvation, or triple your money back.

    I already got your miracle mana and even though you told me it was gonna grant me 3 wishes I still went to jail.
  6. #6
    STER0S Space Nigga [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    can i have a sample
  7. #7
    Donald Trump Black Hole
    Originally posted by STER0S can i have a sample

    Of course. You need to be dead first.
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