Originally posted by aldra
this is the real issue.
when you get to a certain point you need drugs to function properly, and even if you want to get off them you need to be able to function to be able to pay rent and keep the bills paid, so short of taking paid leave (which a lot of people don't have much access to) it becomes very difficult to take the time you need without getting F'd in the A
Very true! but human biology is so unpredictable and fucked up, sometimes for the better. a few years ago i was in a worse state than now. logically i thought "i can do this, i can just taper off slowly" but i needed the exact amount 3 times a day or the suicidal urges returned. i would either be functional or suicidal ,there was no grey area. if i lowered my doses even a bit or tried twice a day instead of three, the depression came back.
then i decided to try once a day for no real reason and i was still functional so i continued this way with no consequence, but anytime i skipped a dose i got a painful reminder. even a whole year later when i felt confident i could quit it, i took just half one day to see what happens. no dice, the suicidal urges came again.
year and a half later, same thing, i feared i would be stuck with it for life. then almost 2 years later, i forgot to dose over the weekends, 2 full days i didnt take it yet nothing happened so i gave monday a shot to see how it plays out. it went smoothly and i havent dosed ever since.
how fucked up yet lucky was that? could not taper down or go cold turkey one day but another random day i could do it just like that without consequences.
human biology is so confusing.
