I was hiding behind a bush, almost certain I would be safe. As soon as I started running, I was captured. No way out. Our manhunt team lost for the fourth time in a row. Even though I used to do cough medicine and obviously advertised the fact that I had Xanax, even shared it with two of my friends which I’ve regretted ever since. James was a short, skinny guy, I gave him half a football back then, gave nick half a bar during band practice and he was drumming on the air.
Even though all of that happened, the gang always gets together at Nick’s for manhunt. I’m starting to feel it. I thought what it said on the internet was just rumors and weak reports like Sudafed and other things like that but as soon as I felt this, I knew it would be with me for a long time. A sudden burst of energy hit, and I ran like I’ve never ran before, the force of the wind against me and the momentum I was building was pure euphoria, combined with the warmth and overall, ecstatic feelings. I assumed this is the closest thing to MDMA I would ever try. My heart was racing and I felt a little bit strange but I kept at it. 2 inhalers isn’t that bad… swallowing cotton… it will pass.
My panic attack attack-esque thought train suddenly dissipated as Nick said ‘’What is that smell, smells like rotten fish’’. Oh lord. I realized I chucked the white part, the useless just disgusting tasting and smelling cotton, into the bushes. I kept casual and acted as confused as them. It passed.
When I got home I realized something very strange. I was seeing black dots all over my hands. It was not like Benadryl, it felt like, well looked like little organisms. Not spiders but just, two dimensional creatures following their path instinctively. When I jumped into the shower, I realized I was not alone. I could feel a prescence. Out of the corner of my vision I saw.. I don’t know what I saw. It was just a darker-than-pitch black avatar… a shadow person. I started freaking out and got the usual Xanax from my dad. Sometimes I wish I never got curious and took a Xanax out of his pill bottle… no wait, that isn’t how it happened. When aunt Debbie was dying of cancer, and I was 11, I knew well she had no time left, my mom had a prescription for Xanax and my dad would sometimes give her one to chew.
Well one day when I was having a ‘’panic attack’’ my dad gave me a xanax. The start of the end of my life. I felt like a new man, all my worries and even depression, lack of motivation, was gone. Completely. I felt extremely content just drawing stick figures with a new fountain pen set I got online, as I was very interested in comics, traditional drawn, back then. My memory is fuzzy, of course, but I think I would take like, 4 xanaxs 1 day a week and split the doses up. At one point my sister got a prescription, summer of… 2012? That was when I discovered my dad’s Adderall, which obviously added to my ‘’troubles’’. My sister only took ONE Xanax. I nicked the bottle from my mom’s dresser and no one knew. Not until I left one on my guitar amp one lazy day. And that is when the joys went from every day pleasure to suffering except for a few days out of a month I’d find one. My dad was a sociopath and he didn’t even know it. I didn’t even know it back then. It wasn’t until a lot later that I realized he was capable and willing to do some really, extremely sordid things.
My father would always say “I don’t feel guilty, I don’t have anything to feel bad about. You got into my pills. When they say keep away from children, they mean toddlers. You are a baby and you were back then. I wouldn’t even bother correcting his wetbrained and drug clouded memory. I was always curious, if he really believed that, or he convinced himself, to avoid the guilt.
Based on a true story. 90% is like, what happened. Inb4 respect your father, no one cares, benzedrex fiend, die
Just looking for like, tips or criticism.. Other than Bill Krozby, spaceMrHaps and some other ppl too drunk to remember, most people consider me like, the bottom of the barrel loser
