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Just got a parcel from my fake Chinese girlfriend

  1. #41
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood I know a guy from Toronto that moved to Philippines to be with a woman.

    They don't even have running water or a toilet, they just shit in a hole in the ground and wipe with leaves and rocks. Toilet paper is a luxury there. He got all kinds of infections and bug bites so his legs are covered in sores and pus like he's rotting. Everyone there is hardcore Christian because it's the only joy in their horrible lives. He has been force converted and goes to church every sunday to sit in the heat for hours while they all preach in a language he doesn't understand.

    He has to learn their shitty dead language that only one country on the entire planet uses. They don't have condoms, birth control or abortion there so if you have sex you better be ready to feed that kid in 9 months.

    All because she didn't want to leave her family and move to Canada, and because despite what people think we don't just let in any old dirty poor immigrant from shit hole countries.

    I only go for high class, elegant girls

    High maintenance but I can deal with it
  2. #42
    Originally posted by Grylls I only go for high class, elegant girls

    High maintenance but I can deal with it

    You certainly wont be getting any blumpkins then.
  3. #43
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Eww

    “ A blumpkin refers to the delicate art of giving someone a blow job – which means sucking and licking their genitals – while they sit on the toilet and do a poo.”

    And how do you know of this?
  4. #44
    Originally posted by Grylls Eww

    “ A blumpkin refers to the delicate art of giving someone a blow job – which means sucking and licking their genitals – while they sit on the toilet and do a poo.”

    And how do you know of this?

    Ask your gramps...
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #45
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Does he get blumpkins off her though?


    There is no toilet and blowjobs are probably against some kind of weird Asian christian belief.
  6. #46
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood There is no toilet and blowjobs are probably against some kind of weird Asian christian belief.

    They use squat pots
  7. #47
    No, it's just a hole, like dug into the ground with a shovel with some wood planks over it. When it's full they bury it and dig a new hole.
  8. #48
    Originally posted by Grylls They use squat pots

    She'll be telling you to open your squat pot.
  9. #49
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    smashing blumpkins, one of the best alternative rock bands of the 90's

  10. #50
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Ask your gramps…

    Lol you gave my grampspa a blumpkin?
  11. #51
    Originally posted by Grylls Lol you gave my grampspa a blumpkin?

    You got it ass backwards son...as your old gramps used to say.
  12. #52
    Michael Myers victim of incest [divide your nonresilient tucker]
    I gotta know, is she a fake Chinese or a fake girlfriend? You're being very vague and mysterious here.
  13. #53
    He hasn't met her yet, probably a ladyboi
  14. #54
    Michael Myers victim of incest [divide your nonresilient tucker]
    Right, well... with ladybois you get double the fun!
  15. #55
    Grylls Cum Looking Faggot [abrade this vocal tread-softly]
    Originally posted by Michael Myers I gotta know, is she a fake Chinese or a fake girlfriend? You're being very vague and mysterious here.

    Because everyone keeps saying she’s not real 😒

    I’ve posted pics before, and she’s not a ladyboi jigg we phone bone on facetime
  16. #56
    Michael Myers victim of incest [divide your nonresilient tucker]
    Originally posted by Grylls Because everyone keeps saying she’s not real 😒

    I’ve posted pics before, and she’s not a ladyboi jigg we phone bone on facetime

    If it's any consolation, I believe you and I don't need you to post pictures to prove it, either. I just assume you're talking the truth. I mean, who would lie on the interwebz?!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. #57
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    How come women never ask for men's dirty underwear?
  18. #58
    Michael Myers victim of incest [divide your nonresilient tucker]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL How come women never ask for men's dirty underwear?

    Gee, why don't females want shit-stained underwear with the additional smell of greasy balls? Really makes me ponder...
  19. #59
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Michael Myers Gee, why don't females want shit-stained underwear with the additional smell of greasy balls? Really makes me ponder…

    So I'm guessing they wouldn't want to buy and drink our dirty bath water either, eh?
  20. #60
    They know if they ask you'll have them washing your unders from now till the year 3029.
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