User Controls
The Recovery Thread (The Other TRT)
-
2020-06-12 at 10:58 PM UTC
-
2020-06-13 at 12:02 AM UTCAlright ok. But it's not a fun story, like i said. Anyway, couple days ago i was doing K-Pins with my gf and we had some oxy too. And i was pretty fucking out of it. So at some point me and my gf get into an argument and i don't even remember what it was about. But i was real fucking angry, at some point i said to her: Maybe i should just fucking kill you and be done with it. Then she said something to the effect of: Oh yeah? You don't have the balls you fucking pussy. If i was already at like 8 out of 10 on the anger scale that turned it up to 11. I carry a Buck knife, i always have it on me. So i flicked it open and i walked over to her. She raised her arm in defense but i grabbed it a little higher than the wrist area. And i didn't close my hand around it i grabbed it with my fingers and i pushed as hard as i could. Then i twisted her arm so it locked in place with her shoulder and she went down in pain. She didn't go down far though because as she was going down i put my knife right up to her throat, in such a manner that if she'd drop through her knees any further she'd get sliced. And i told her: Are you sure about that? And i held her like that for a good couple seconds. And i let her go.
I shouldn't have done that, i fully expected her to grab something to whack me over the head with after that, and i mean i wouldn't blame her because what i did was beyond the fucking pale. But she didn't, she just went docile after that, and that actually made me feel worse. Like i said it's not a fun story and it's not something i'm proud of. But we made up after that, IDK why she'd want to but i guess i'm just lucky. Also we don't often fight but when we do it tends to escalate real fast, she has ADHD and i clearly have anger management issues, so you know... Things happen. This was probably the worst though.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-06-13 at 12:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie I don't mean to be rude but you need to strangle the toxicity out of that whore, she is carrying your child. I don't suppose you want a dope baby because that's what you'll get if she keeps popping pills during the pregnancy.
I want to tell a story, something that happened recently while i was off my rocker on K-Pins and oxy, but it's a little far outside of the bounds of normal human behavior eve for this site. So i'm hesitant. It doesn't involve children but it does involve extreme violence. Don't pick fights when you're on high dose K-Pins and the other person is as well. I'll tell the story if you guys really want to hear but it's not a fun story.
We like violence -
2020-06-13 at 12:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie Alright ok. But it's not a fun story, like i said. Anyway, couple days ago i was doing K-Pins with my gf and we had some oxy too. And i was pretty fucking out of it. So at some point me and my gf get into an argument and i don't even remember what it was about. But i was real fucking angry, at some point i said to her: Maybe i should just fucking kill you and be done with it. Then she said something to the effect of: Oh yeah? You don't have the balls you fucking pussy. If i was already at like 8 out of 10 on the anger scale that turned it up to 11. I carry a Buck knife, i always have it on me. So i flicked it open and i walked over to her. She raised her arm in defense but i grabbed it a little higher than the wrist area. And i didn't close my hand around it i grabbed it with my fingers and i pushed as hard as i could. Then i twisted her arm so it locked in place with her shoulder and she went down in pain. She didn't go down far though because as she was going down i put my knife right up to her throat, in such a manner that if she'd drop through her knees any further she'd get sliced. And i told her: Are you sure about that? And i held her like that for a good couple seconds. And i let her go.
I shouldn't have done that, i fully expected her to grab something to whack me over the head with after that, and i mean i wouldn't blame her because what i did was beyond the fucking pale. But she didn't, she just went docile after that, and that actually made me feel worse. Like i said it's not a fun story and it's not something i'm proud of. But we made up after that, IDK why she'd want to but i guess i'm just lucky. Also we don't often fight but when we do it tends to escalate real fast, she has ADHD and i clearly have anger management issues, so you know… Things happen. This was probably the worst though.
We like violence -
2020-06-13 at 12:12 AM UTCOk Jesus. That wasn't fun. I get how she can make up but that shit is not healthy and that'll forever loom over your relationship no matter what. As someone who has been held at gunpoint, you don't just get over it. If she's anything like me the animosity and fear will always eat at the back of her head.
That said I pulled a knife on hydro once, but it was behind my back and I told her I had it. She had pushed me into a corner and was trying to get me to give her my backpack packed with all my shit because I was ready to leave. Ended up trying to hitchhike to a motel with her fugitive pedo roomate (I didn't know at the time, not the pedo husband) until she nearly ran us over and blah blah blah
Yeah not fun. -
2020-06-13 at 12:14 AM UTC
-
2020-06-13 at 12:18 AM UTCHow long ago was that? Do you feel like things are different after?
-
2020-06-13 at 12:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace Ok Jesus. That wasn't fun. I get how she can make up but that shit is not healthy and that'll forever loom over your relationship no matter what. As someone who has been held at gunpoint, you don't just get over it. If she's anything like me the animosity and fear will always eat at the back of her head.
That said I pulled a knife on hydro once, but it was behind my back and I told her I had it. She had pushed me into a corner and was trying to get me to give her my backpack packed with all my shit because I was ready to leave. Ended up trying to hitchhike to a motel with her fugitive pedo roomate (I didn't know at the time, not the pedo husband) until she nearly ran us over and blah blah blah
Yeah not fun.
We have an unhealthy relationship period. Also, she's a tough cookie, she really is. -
2020-06-13 at 12:23 AM UTC
-
2020-06-13 at 1:37 AM UTC
-
2020-06-13 at 3:03 AM UTC
-
2020-06-13 at 3:15 AM UTCyou don't scare me sophie. can we cuddle some time with your knife? i had a hunting knife once or twice stuck in me deep. i bled a lil but thats why the fun is...gotta make sure fear doesn't control ya and you gotta live on those fears.
sophie true story...live on their fears and even your own. it can really scare people. -
2020-06-13 at 3:26 AM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs you don't scare me sophie. can we cuddle some time with your knife? i had a hunting knife once or twice stuck in me deep. i bled a lil but thats why the fun is…gotta make sure fear doesn't control ya and you gotta live on those fears.
sophie true story…live on their fears and even your own. it can really scare people.
I wasn't trying to scare, i was making a point. Also, don't encourage the worst in me. -
2020-06-13 at 3:32 AM UTCwell next story from your rl i want you to scare me US all. fucking making points online. real life ones can last forever with the right imagination. lmao the worst you can come up with is usually the best for all that know you in real time. they won't dare fuck with you ever. if they do whatever happens happens to them. nothing to lose sleep over. only the ones that can survive your worst are worthy. not an opinion real talk.
-
2020-06-13 at 3:39 AM UTC
Originally posted by Dregs well next story from your rl i want you to scare me US all. fucking making points online. real life ones can last forever with the right imagination. lmao the worst you can come up with is usually the best for all that know you in real time. they won't dare fuck with you ever. if they do whatever happens happens to them. nothing to lose sleep over. only the ones that can survive your worst are worthy. not an opinion real talk.
You have a peculiar outlook on life. Since we're having this conversation, what would actually scare you? Also, at the end of the day these are just words on a screen how would they scare you? -
2020-06-13 at 3:54 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sophie You have a peculiar outlook on life. Since we're having this conversation, what would actually scare you? Also, at the end of the day these are just words on a screen how would they scare you?
you think too much. nothing in this life is worthy of that much thinking. again if you use your imagination full tilt you should be able to come up with something that would scare anyone including me..I don't point anyone in the right direction on shit like this. you either got that powerful of a mind or you don't to scare me..or anyone. its not up for much thought
lmao words on the screen? do you seriously consider this bullshit every post you make online??
come on Sophie you must have a lil devil in ya...let it out on me and the world...or online world at least. Your gf should be able to take your worst too. Thats not even up for debate. If she can't she should...use your imagination. Plus how much do you value her life? scale 1-10 if she is anything under 5-6 you know what you gotta do with her asap. if she a 7 or better keep her IF and only IF she can handle the Sophie from Hell.
words on a screen? i guess there is some truthinem on that but i never over think shit when i'm drunk. even sober same but more zombie-sh. i don't feel much than
now after all this we gonna fuck behind yo girls back? seriously no possessive clingy shit from me...but maybe buy me some new panties, bras, and lingerie? maybe a few bottles?? please
i seriously gotta go...almost out of booze and life just becomes like whatever again. i will catch up with you in one or more days. i might walk the earth and harass people for money on the stret for booze and money or just pass out for many hours
this was a decent talk. wish there were more out there like you sexy Sophie. Until next time... -
2020-06-13 at 4:06 AM UTCsweet found a rasberry/rhubarb vodka smash in the fridge. i'll be up for a bit longer. woohoo!
-
2020-06-13 at 4:23 AM UTCShut up Dregs
-
2020-06-13 at 4:36 AM UTCwhy should i?
-
2020-06-13 at 4:38 AM UTCI'm starting my countdown to relapse today. Day 31, ??? Days remaining until I say fuck it. Things are looking up. I'm beginning to learn how to recognize and follow energy pathways and to levitate during energy fluxes. I'm learning to listen to my inner voice, and seeing the possibilities of the infinite methods of facing fear. I am letting go of my face, so that many more may be crafted and obtained. It's no easy feat, but it will be worth the effort. Distancing attachment to people, situations and emotions. Following a higher code and way of life. Reaching for the "It" I heard of so many years ago but couldn't comprehend. Wisdom, focus, confidence and style. A weapon of ultimate proportions. Also, to look at my flaws and weaknesses and see them as processes to be shifted, rather than absolutes which define me. A future God, in a most nonconventional sense. Taking control of this ship.
It may go straight into a maelstrom and I want to be somewhat prepared. Or at least feel like I am.
