Originally posted by mmQ
There has to be a movie scene where something like this happens. What is it ?
The only thing I can think of is when Jesse tries to dissolve that body in the bathtub in BB and it falls through the ceiling
Theres a movie where a girl is shitting in a school bathroom and the whole toilet falls through the floor into the classroom below and busts open and sprays shit water everywhere but i forget which movie
Originally posted by Solstice
Theres a movie where a girl is shitting in a school bathroom and the whole toilet falls through the floor into the classroom below and busts open and sprays shit water everywhere but i forget which movie
I keep postponing the days I "get my shit together" and get on the box for a few days then wean myself off. This fucking quarantine hasn't really helped
man my addiction is functional but man do I hate it. My girlfriend makes me go get her coffee in the morning so I can do a pill without being around her. I wake up and shiver, shake and shit my guts out, blow my nose 50 times and go as long as I can without. I can "go through the motions" without pills but to actually function in a constructive way I need to do a microscopic amount. I think I can beat it in a week or two
Originally posted by Sudo
man my addiction is functional but man do I hate it. My girlfriend makes me go get her coffee in the morning so I can do a pill without being around her. I wake up and shiver, shake and shit my guts out, blow my nose 50 times and go as long as I can without. I can "go through the motions" without pills but to actually function in a constructive way I need to do a microscopic amount. I think I can beat it in a week or two
Originally posted by Sudo
so I can do a pill without being around her.
She knows you're using, but doesn't want you to use it around her? It's not like you're getting all doped up on it, and it doesn't smell like weed or tobacco. You could do it in the bathroom and be out of sight. She could just go to a different room.
What a weird fucking hangup to send you out of your own house to do drugs. Usually when people purposely do drugs away from home its to hide it.
Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace
She knows you're using, but doesn't want you to use it around her? It's not like you're getting all doped up on it, and it doesn't smell like weed or tobacco. You could do it in the bathroom and be out of sight. She could just go to a different room.
What a weird fucking hangup to send you out of your own house to do drugs. Usually when people purposely do drugs away from home its to hide it.
You're both so mentally ill haha
It's a triggering thing. I shouldn't say she makes me, I just feel more comfortable doing it somewhere else, away from her and her kid. I feel guilty and weak and getting her a coffee and me a tea and her kid something too is the compromise.
When I see someone do coke it makes me want to. It's pretty normal to by triggered by rituals of substance use. I worked in a restaurant before and would have to make french onion soup and carrying an open red wine glass for the soup would make me sweat and shake.
Just say you don't understand. Your "insight" into anything is always equivalent to a mexican bubble boy locked in a room with nothing but a tv that plays cartoons.
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Originally posted by Sudo
It's a triggering thing. I shouldn't say she makes me, I just feel more comfortable doing it somewhere else, away from her and her kid. I feel guilty and weak and getting her a coffee and me a tea and her kid something too is the compromise.
When I see someone do coke it makes me want to. It's pretty normal to by triggered by rituals of substance use. I worked in a restaurant before and would have to make french onion soup and carrying an open red wine glass for the soup would make me sweat and shake.
Just say you don't understand. Your "insight" into anything is always equivalent to a mexican bubble boy locked in a room with nothing but a tv that plays cartoons.
There's people I've said I'll catch up with who I know will be taking it so had second thoughts. I've also fell out with some heavy coke heads which I feel is a good thing. I'm starting to enjoy my own company now and feel I'll only enjoy drinking with others occasionally rather than most weekends. I've also made a promise not to drink alone indoors albeit I am at my mother's. In hindsight it's fucking dumb when alone at my apartment. I just end up snorting and masturbating for days LOL.
I was thinking how enjoyable just getting drunk with girls is, as opposed to being up till Sunrise then feeling like death, bunged up nose etc. Girls are more horny when drunk anyway.
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Originally posted by Sudo
It's a triggering thing. I shouldn't say she makes me, I just feel more comfortable doing it somewhere else, away from her and her kid. I feel guilty and weak and getting her a coffee and me a tea and her kid something too is the compromise.
When I see someone do coke it makes me want to. It's pretty normal to by triggered by rituals of substance use. I worked in a restaurant before and would have to make french onion soup and carrying an open red wine glass for the soup would make me sweat and shake.
Just say you don't understand. Your "insight" into anything is always equivalent to a mexican bubble boy locked in a room with nothing but a tv that plays cartoons.
Ah, so yet another lie from you.
First she makes you. Now she doesn't.
If she ever wises up she'll realize the habitual getting away is a sign
Originally posted by mmQ
Yes. Sigh. This is the part where I'm weird. Because I dont even want to deal with them right now. I'm starting to drink and just want to be left alone. Lol. I'll do it tomorrow.
Originally posted by Sudo
man my addiction is functional but man do I hate it. My girlfriend makes me go get her coffee in the morning so I can do a pill without being around her. I wake up and shiver, shake and shit my guts out, blow my nose 50 times and go as long as I can without. I can "go through the motions" without pills but to actually function in a constructive way I need to do a microscopic amount. I think I can beat it in a week or two
Originally posted by Sudo
It's a triggering thing. I shouldn't say she makes me, I just feel more comfortable doing it somewhere else, away from her and her kid. I feel guilty and weak and getting her a coffee and me a tea and her kid something too is the compromise.
When I see someone do coke it makes me want to. It's pretty normal to by triggered by rituals of substance use. I worked in a restaurant before and would have to make french onion soup and carrying an open red wine glass for the soup would make me sweat and shake.
Just say you don't understand. Your "insight" into anything is always equivalent to a mexican bubble boy locked in a room with nothing but a tv that plays cartoons.
Honestly man this sounds miserable. Its making me stressed just remembering what it felt like to have to live and work and hang out with people that I had to constantly be on alert around. Making sure nothing fell out of my pockets. Making sure i didnt leave anything in anyones car. Leave a foil or a burnt soda cap in someones bathroom. Left my phone unlocked in at someones apartment. Dropped 2 pieces of dope in a camera case in an Uber.
Its fucking exhausting. Like imagine what itd be like to wake up and go through your normal day without all that fucking headache.
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Im debating blowing off NA. The meetings are cancelled anyway so everyone would forget about me and not hound me for a bit. I do t have any plans to start doing heroin or oxy or fent or coke again.........................but if i DID............ a global pandemic keeping me from the meetings that were MY LAST LIFELINE TO SOBRIETY would be a pretty solid reason. Ive been in the shit a year and a half i think. and im on step 3. I mean having all 12 under the best seems like another cool junkie milestone but fuck if im going to be alive long enough to do that shit and go write gay hallmark cards to everyone i fucked over. I mean parts of the program are great, esp at the beginning. But i think i can distill it down a bit further. 1) Check your impulses. Run your decisions by people less crazy than you, 2) Be mindful. 3) Be of service. Helping people gives you peace. 4) Dont stress over things you cant control, and dont be too cowardly to engage the things that youre passionate about. 5) You can decide to be a different person every day. It doesnt absolve you of responsibility, but you can work towards alleviating guilt by putting more good into the world than you took frim it,
Shit like that. If i want ti smoke a bowl and a have 3 or 4 vodka sodas at a live blues bar once a month, i shouldnt lose all my stickers and self respect. It wasnt being a weak willed individual that got me addicted. It was a combination of being socially awkward without a way to relate to people...and mostly the indcredibly physically addictive shit i was putting into my body 6 or 7 times a day bc everything else id ever been told about drugs was a lie.
Thats my update. lol.
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