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Telepathic toilets
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2020-02-28 at 6:32 PM UTCThe kind that don't normally have a plunger because they're owned by jedis that just point their fingers at the toilet and maybe move then around a bit in a circular fashion while staring at the toilet to make it flush.
Why can't they have a sign on them -
2020-02-28 at 10:03 PM UTCshut up schizbro
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2020-02-28 at 10:05 PM UTCTelepathic toilets sound like a good idea till you're too hungover to use your mind for much of anything besides feel awful. Then you have to look at your guinness shits and vomit sit in the bowl all day.
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2020-02-28 at 10:25 PM UTCi read the thread title for days in the latest threads page. imagining my toilet shrieking inside my brain about the torture and horror that is its existence, and imagining the nightmare that is all inanimate objects possessing souls. it's unsettling.
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2020-02-28 at 10:27 PM UTCWouldn't inanimate objects be please to serve us tho?
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2020-02-28 at 10:32 PM UTC
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Wouldn't inanimate objects be please to serve us tho?
how would you feel if your lifespan was theoretically indefinite and all you had to look forward to was people shitting and pissing inside of you every single day, all day, and sometimes puking in you, or pouring chemicals in you. you can't move, you can't see, you are trapped in yourself. cistern your holding cell. what if you don't even die someday when your house is bulldozed? what if you get smashed by a bulldozer and you can feel the agony in every piece of porcelein as you're buried alive in a landfill. and then you have thousands, possibly even millions of years ahead of you, in the dark, with nothing transpiring.
you'd go completely insane for eternity, and hopefully create your own universe to live in inside your mind. death is the sweetest mercy that could come for a toilet capable of telepathically communicating. -
2020-02-28 at 11:32 PM UTC
Originally posted by snab_snib how would you feel if your lifespan was theoretically indefinite and all you had to look forward to was people shitting and pissing inside of you every single day, all day, and sometimes puking in you, or pouring chemicals in you. you can't move, you can't see, you are trapped in yourself. cistern your holding cell. what if you don't even die someday when your house is bulldozed? what if you get smashed by a bulldozer and you can feel the agony in every piece of porcelein as you're buried alive in a landfill. and then you have thousands, possibly even millions of years ahead of you, in the dark, with nothing transpiring.
you'd go completely insane for eternity, and hopefully create your own universe to live in inside your mind. death is the sweetest mercy that could come for a toilet capable of telepathically communicating.
That may be how the universe itself feels, as a whole. Or god. -
2020-03-04 at 8:22 PM UTC
Originally posted by Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Telepathic toilets sound like a good idea till you're too hungover to use your mind for much of anything besides feel awful. Then you have to look at your guinness shits and vomit sit in the bowl all day.
I wouldn't like it often I'll sit here needing to go but can't be bothered to get up until I really have to, if I had a telepathic toilet it would probably be bugging me the whole time
"hey it's time to come shit"
"um no not yet"
"yes now"
"I said no"
"you know most doctors say holding it in is bad for you, you might end up with ass cancer"
"No most doctors don't say that"
"yes they do I just telepathically checked with WebMD, look it up yourself"
"no I'm posting on NIS right now"
"So just come shit and get it over with"
"NO I SAID I'LL SHIT WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY"
"Well don't expect me to be here when you're ready, I have a date with the shower drain"The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-03-04 at 9:09 PM UTCthats some nice schizophrenia talking toilets yeah
