Using the term "reach around" instead of "reach out" and other incorrect idioms I am enjoying.

1. 2024-06-28 at 4:29 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Enigma African Astronaut [memorize my carmelite sway]
   as many of know I live somewhere that uses English as a second language for the majority of people, I am also very white. So no one dares correct my American English.
   
   I have begun to create and use new phrases with obvious homosexual flavor
   
   Don't come at me/Come at me is now Don't cum in me/Come in me bro.
   
   You're being hard on him. is now You're being hard in him.
   
   Thank you for reaching out to me. is now Thank you for reaching around me.
   
   I want to reach out to you. is I want to give you a reach around.
   
   Wow you're really rubbing off on him is now Wow you're really rubbing one off on him.
   
   I literally said to my college professor "You're really rubbing one off on these kids, I'm impressed." and you can tell he realized that the phrase was incorrect, stiffened up and said "Thank you, I try my best."
   
   If anyone can help me think of more of them I will use them in emails, professional settings, school, government offices, AA meetings and other formal jaunts that are typically devoid of sexual innuendos.
2. 2024-06-28 at 4:42 PM UTC

   #2
   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   I think sir you are not being completely honest with me - Yer pullin me plonker mate