User Controls

Slaynk's trip to Chicago 2022 [remastered]

  1. #1
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    Alrought, fellas… I'm going to rewrite my Chicago trip story and share, because… I think it plays a part of who we are and what kind of Americans we are… So, I'm not going to fuck around, I'm going to pound this thing out and get some sleep, and use the outline I make in my head writing this a solid foundation for a thorough and cherished memory. So… Where do I begin…

    So it was about August… June.. July… August… It was August, where I was fucking, chilling with this girl on Runescape… She was chilling in her throne room and she invited me… We sat on the throne… Fuckin it was lit. Anyway, bough. I worked furiously that night making tables to get my level up to build a throne room. Thankfully I did, and I passed out. Next day, Saturday, I get freaked out because I couldn't find my shit, and I could just feel the shit storm coming, so I pushed some shit over and got my shit. Furious at all the unnecessary inconveniences.. Pissed. I get moving to Mom's… She takes my Vodka, I'm pissed. Fuckin, She didn't let me smoke weed or anything, I was fucking pissed because I wanted a buzz to spruce me up. Anyway, I go to bed that night, fricking jonsing. Fuckin, I'm pissed, I felt like a piece of tissue paper in Guatemala. Anyway… I wake up at one, and I'm like… We gots to go… Train leaves at 5. But no no no no. We gots to get another hour of sleep… I'm like… "Science", "Sleep", yissen…
    "I don't want to hear your god damn shit nigger"
    Ok. Fuckin… anyway…
    3 hours later, amazing race

    Hell no they ain't holding no mofuckin amtrack train for 3 hours man, fuck man this shit man awe man it never ends. Fuckin anyway… we're in fuckin mountain walmart trying to get snacks… We're still fucking around heading due north… Fuckin I don't know, what Mom has me doing. So I'm just going to sit on my hands, slouch and sit in this passenger seat and shut my fuckin mouth before she breaks my ear drums with her violent yelling.

    Bob Evans
    The fuck
    At one point we tried to go to Cedar Point to kill time til next train. Is it up? Na, let's hit the road… In my little 5-speed box… Well… I'm just chillin… Dead af secretly, but trying to be pleasant because we basically came from the gutter… I was literally raised in a domicile labeled a village growing up. It has a population of around forty. So, I'm trying to be cool, but it's hard because Mom is livid on The phone with the car rental place… We went and chilled in the cedar point parking lot, fuckin'… Inside I'm dying… So we weighed it out, and that was our option. We skeet deedle and ska-daddled on out of there and got moving down the highway. Fuckin… I'm dying the whole way down the road, starving for energy and comfort. Mom's just sitting there driving, charging down the highway.. And, oh, yea… I didn't mention the asthma attack I had that morning and the benedryl I took… Whatever, I love Mom. So she's sitting there driving. The ac is out, so we stop in Toledo to get a can of ac recharge. We move to a stop down the road and fuckin couldn't get the hood to open, what the fuck ever… It's not going to be a glamorous trip. The fuck ever. Indiana comes and goes… Boom! Chicago metropolitan area… Fuckin, big machines, watch your back!

    We get on in on the freeway that takes us to the other freeway… We have to get to… Rosemont to the hotel… Fuckin we get through town I see the tower… It's fuckin like 5-6 some shit, but the time is an hour behind, and I'm fucked up trying to look out for jackers like in New York City. Help me Jesus. No jackers, none in sight. Phew. Vroom… The Dan Ryan expressway.. Tf? Fuckin

    Checkin. Shit in the Room… Meal tickets, gtg shawty. Cross the street, weed, actual weed for sale at the gas station

    You want to get some pot? No. Fuck. You… Wanna get beer? No… fuck, water it is.
    "Don't take a bath in there". Tf? Whatever, it is what it is, I'm going to unwind and get rest on this bed ok, night. Next day, we go eat at Tiffany's across the street. I'm chilling. Can we fucking go have fun??? :*( ok I guess. Well, get up… Fuckin hit the tren.

    Tren-bus-street aye aye aye, a bunch of static. We are out on the coastline highway. Museum of Science and Industry… Yesss… I was careless of how tired I was, I just wanted to see Zeus and Atlas burn one lol… Fuckin I remembered nothing from the tag trip, except for the plastic machine and the cadaver… fuckin, ok… Well it's time to go. We go out and walk to the bus stop broken. I find hand sanitizer. I left it on the bus. Next stop, The art Museum. Dead tired, however, I'm severely understimulated, so I need to see these works so I have something to talk about at work with the people I care absolutely nothing about. First thing, we looked at the little rooms, so cute… Awe. Then asians, then I went upstairs. WHERE ARE THE FUCKING DE GOYAS AT YOU BASTARDS. They're not having it, I gotta look at some other stuff. I look at a Tiffany's stain, beautiful. Herculese, masterpiece. Van gogh is here, Pollack is here. Whoah dude. Gold stuff. All kinds of stuff… I'm blessed. Picasso, third floor. I'm honored. Mom I'm fucking tired… But first, gift shop. Lol. Rah rah rah rah rah rah rah rah. The blob *eats hotdog* to navy pier… Sip a beer. Bounce. Bounce. Train back to airport. Dude in the van speaking broken english. Mom, come on! So, we're in the shuttle, and I'm like, phew, cause I was tired, and so was my fone. Back at hotel. Zonk. Ok… So we wake up on the Tuesday…. And… We take our tickets and get to the Diner. And Mom's there… And inside I'm devastated, because I'm not producing, and I'm tired and just sad because it was supposed to be a break through trip… And we have to account for no ac trip on a hot summer day… Fuckin. I'm broken. I mean. Yea we saw the gemini the previous day.. But there was nothing spurious… like getting a six beer buzz at a regular season white sox game :**( that we spontaneously decided to attend. Life goes on. Tiffany's, making a decision. Where we goin, Ma? No, where are we going, Kellen? Hancock tower. Why not Sears tower? It's not just about me. Know your caste. Fuckin walkin the town. It's built like Manhattan downtown, which is kind of weird, because of the chip shortage. But, whatever, it's cool. I'm just going to ride this elevator up, so I can get some sun on my old weary knees. I like Chicago, because it has foundation, it even has water. But for the simple fact that they involve that mythology shit in their architecture is a red flag 🚩 and tells me this is some kind of city i'm fin get spun by a blind man I meet up with to smoke with because he wants to watch jerry and forgets it's 3am lol and calls the cops on my ass cause he thinks i stole his remote. Nevermind the fact that I just lost my sack to some ghost face cops who are about to send me to an internment camp… lol, as I digress. So, we're on top of the hancock tower… and fuckin i'm trying to sun myself.. The whole thing, itself is… Overwhelming… Because it's like they pick the whole city up, and drop it on you. Forget about what you know about catholic muslim… fuckin it's all there, and it hits you like a wrecking ball. I was on the train two days and I think the only talking I heard was a blind guy asking for money. Fuckkn, but anyway… we were right in the heat of the city, and I could feel it. Fuckin… Whatever. Well we got the fuck on out of there. Rode the train to china town. I felt so bad for Mom.. She doesn't know too many whole awful lot of things about the way of the unchained adventurer. This actually makes me really sad… Because she had me at such a young age.. And.. Poverty, prison.. All of these things. And she doesn't listen… "Mom, Mom… Mom, I'm going to get you help." She's not losing it, she just is defiant… So, fucking, we hit china town at 12pm fuckin eat some lo mein sea weed and dumplings. I ate all Mom's dumplings because I was hungry. We walked around the block and I got a crepe wrap. I stood tall like an athlete. Hit up a shop or two, and got the fuck outta dodge.

    Well, guys. Phewie. It's been a long journey. From aggravated arson in the boons to smoking crack in my velvet crush chair back out in my country home watching rifleman. I know… That every day I-you-we come a little bit closer to the edge. Thankfully, I ran some tests, put a little behind, and took care of our family, so, to, that we can overcome. But these days of overdosing are breaking me, because the Devil comes in a flash. I just hope my partner will understand this.

    Milena??? She's great. But knowing what I know, I know I gotta get another girl, because, I can feel it coming any day now.. And it's no coincidence it comes back tenfold. Alex Mitrevski… He's a God damn slum lord. This man has this woman tangled up in so much shit, she can't even walk down the sidewalk like a normal person. This man has to stay away from me. All four of them… Never had I been so broken over petty capers that meant so little. The lies… The abuse… The nonsence. The time. Fuckin 😮😦

    None of what they says makes any sense, and they're just going around breaking the fucking language. Menka, whatever. She fuckin, I don't know. And I don't care. I wash my hands.. Atrocious attitude and disgusting blatant rebellion, and to NO end. Get these slobs away from me!


    I mean. I don't know… That drive home was pretty long.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Ghost Black Hole
    did u met up with randy rain
  3. #3
    RIPtotse victim of incest [my adversative decurved garbo]
    R u ok? That was similar to reading catcher in the rye no joke.

    And we all know how that book ends. [Well u should if ur not a complete uneducated idiot]
  4. #4
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Ghost did u met up with randy rain

  5. #5
    curlyKellen Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by RIPtotse R u ok? That was similar to reading catcher in the rye no joke.

    I'm fine… I just can't understand why like… Why can't… Fuckin… People bro… They need to understand - they, we, you, me… We are always, always… always bro… It's inevitable… That, in time… We are always going to have a time… When we are going to be hungry.

    And I'm the Man, chosen… By God, to specifically, tell you. It's a stipulation of my gift.

    And we all know how that book ends. [Well u should if ur not a complete uneducated idiot]

    I don't know that book. I did some substitute reading in high school. That's just how God handled me.

    Nevertheless. I mean… I never know if I'm ok at this point, cause the go to solution is to wearhouse me with invalids that stink like poop. Like… Nigger, do you even understand… I was a competitor in the actual Ncaa bro??? Nigger, bro fuckin… This shit nigger… And I'm getting bracketed with people who spell the word hate without an e. Bro i'm about to fuckin…

    And these hoes bro… I should have like 8-9 kids by now, lol. But this shit, really is like idiocracy. People… Fuckin Milena… Like I literally believe, she thinks success is merit based. And I'm like… Nigger this is food. She wastes whole packages of… Meat. Bread… To stay acclimated to a man who pointed a gun at her and used her to bring… A whole nother woman to America.

    Life is like a gta game bro. All these folks out here. We're moving money around in circles. People wanna sit here and act like apple money can't be profitable, because they're severely undereducated. Like.. Bud… Bro, you can will pay for some cigarettes. But you won't shell out for propriatery code, because you can't fucking embrace it physically. I'm broken. Nevermind it takes actual calories to produce. Fuckin whatever though. I mean… I know I'm cute.. just from the economy. But why do girls sit here and act like I'm going to send their parents to an internment camp if they talk to me. And that's the problem of, when you decide you want to use the can for the four-wheeler so you can… Fuckin big air over the cornfield instead of go9);3699;3 fuckin who gives a fuck. I mean… My Mom works hard Man. Girls act like I'm asking them to spit their teeth out to take their shoes off in My Mom's house.

    Get-/-|-\- Over It!

    And the battle of glut and gorging on gasoline continues… And people get all confused when they lose their teeth and wanna fuckin mumble moan and complain… And it's like… "What the fuck did you expect bro, you dried out your bitch". When you drink three cups of coffee a day, and don't hydrate… Your teeth are going to rot bro, regardless.

  6. #6
    Haxxor Space Nigga
  7. #7
    Catheter in the rEye , aye aye
  8. #8
    Bradley Black Hole
    Tl dr
  9. #9
    kick Tuskegee Airman [discourteously tickle this dendrolagus]
  10. #10
    cryptographiccontrarian African Astronaut
    Originally posted by kick

    whats going on here fam
  11. #11
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    man disciplining a naughty cat
  12. #12
    kick Tuskegee Airman [discourteously tickle this dendrolagus]
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
Jump to Top