Been dwelling on the past lately. Too much.
2016 - spring, my father has a stroke in front of me, his eyes rolled up and he collapsed. He was in a coma for a while. I lost water and electricity 2 days after that cuz he didn't pay the bill and there was back rent I had no idea about. He got out of the rehab hospital a few weeks early, didn't know who I was and was screaming at me for cigarettes and KFC.
I didn't have my driver's then and was having a hard time getting my work done. After he got out he had 3 appointments a week in the middle of the day. I got no help from my family and then when I managed to get a vehicle work dried up. That winter 16/17 was hard.
Then I moved with my sister because I was overwhelmed, we lived together for 2 1/2 months. She stole me and my dad's rent. We moved in without paying damage up front cuz I knew the land Lord, so she kinda fucked up a business relationship too. Her boyfriend broke my jaw. My truck shit the bed and I got stuck in debt peonage. When I finally paid off the landlord ... She had no work so I could actually get a head and my other clients stopped calling cuz I turned them down for 6 months. Got a van that year and lost control on a long stretch of iced over road. I remember my dad screaming about food that day.
2018... All I got was yard work. All it did was rain. Bout an f250 for cheap, engine quit 5 months after I got it.
Early 2019, bills were caught up, saw a light at the end of the tunnel... Some guy hits me when they made a bad left turn. Hitch hiked to work for 2 weeks cuz insurance wouldn't supply a rental on a no fault accident with a witness. Got a truck a few weeks later.... Then I dunno was disillusioned. Not much work that summer.
Met that drug addicted bitch who I got feelings for. Left my dad with my sis, cut ties with landlord who kept leaning on me. Moved to a friend's. That September stood out as nice. I won like 700 bucks on a slot, and had about 4k in invoices come in, no father to watch and no crazy rent or bills to cover. Had fun, got hopeful. Then got into another accident. My fault. Truck got fucked up. I didn't have much cash on hand and my insurance went up. It was already expensive, then it got almost unmanageable.
Managed to get a small car but by this time I was smoking meth for a bit, and hanging with criminals, car got seized cuz I lent it out. Lol. I think I got into another accident at that point too. Also had my sister kick me out at 9 at night on Christmas Eve cuz I was depressed. Slept in some building I had keys too. Pipes burst and plumbers went in and were said it looked like somebody was sleeping there. A while after money went missing and the company I worked with asked me for keys and accused me of theft.
By this point i kinda just expected my life to be never ending suffering and I was right. Yada yada yada, bitch tried to set me up with cops, crazy surveillance kicked in. I got paranoid and left Edmonton weird gangstalking bullshit followed me.
Met a guy in Montreal who told me I'm getting cointelproed.
Throw in losing my jeep recently after going to jail. Losing my license and ending up in a shelter and I'm positive life is suffering made flesh.
FUCK EVERYTHING, GOD, THE GOVERNMENT, MY SHIT FAMILY. THE COMPANY I WORKED FOR. MY SPINELESS "FRIENDS".
I just wanted to fix houses now I have fucking UC, drug zombie snitch gangstalkers, a probation officer, a new charge cuz I said fuck it my fate is in a cell, padded or otherwise so fuck me. I feel bad about that tho cuz what befalls me shouldn't cause a general bitterness that harms other people.
I wanted to take care of my dad and fix houses, maybe get a skid steer. Instead my sister fucked up my life. She also lied to police too. Threw bleach on me and got me arrested. A couple months before I left Edmonton. Right before I had court on an unrelated matter.
Now I'm here in Ottawa, encountering engineered situations, figuring I'll never not be slandered or be left to live my life in peace. Weirdo fucking Church shit, masonic crap, Fucking demons and synchronicities abound although I think that's just me going mad and I just kinda have no hope, faith or inclination to think things will get better.
Ahhhh to be soft killed by the colonialist piece of shit Canadian government.