2016-05-18 at 4:32 PM UTC
So I suggested we chop off her tits.
I think I made a slight faux pas when I transitioned to the topic of eating the placenta. Her anxiety spiked and I struggled to conceal my indifference. "Lisa, it's not like your tits are even mentioned in the Akashic record. They have an admirable symmetry, sure? I bet the guys really loved them DO YOU BELIEVE that MEN can LOVE WOMYN? Oh," and here I paused to brush a fly away from my hair, "And while your tests did come back negative, I'm still leaning towards removing these suckers."
Her eyes shone with tears in the dark room. She was trying to cry as quietly as possible, so I struck her across the face and called security. Her tits, glossy with tears in the shadowy office, heaved in resignation.
My mouth watered. As the orderlies arrived, I put in my order for breakfast.
