2018-03-15 at 3:56 PM UTC
This is just something I've been thinking about on and off for a while due to realizing it on an LSD trip. I'm just typing it out here because I think putting down the thoughts in text allows me to better formulate a reasonable line of thought on that matter, and maybe it can give others some ideas or they can offer criticism.
The past year or so I've been doing more drugs, mainly benzos and opiates and some Crouton/stimulants too and just whatever. I started doing it because community college wasn't so exciting and it was easy to get straight A's, even while smoking weed everyday and using hard drugs occasionally. I kind of lost the work ethic I had when entering community college because I found it wasn't needed. But anyways, my problems shifted from being worried about a particular answer on a homework problem, whether I was going to get an A on a test, etc, to being worried about how bad my comedown was going to be, how long is it going to take me to recover from this binge, am I going to have withdrawal that effects my ability to get things done?
Then after a while it gets old and it dawned on me that I had just created these problems for myself. I mean it's obvious, everybody knows using hard drugs comes with consequences (well, most of us...), but I just realized that I had chosen to do drugs and to make those become my problems. Your mind only has a small finite amount of things it will worry about, and if you fill those worries with bullshit it's going to take away from the other things you spend your time thinking of. But it applies to other things as well. I have a friend who was ranting about how some girl on his fb "called for" all men to not be a part of music culture (lol) because datsik got caught drugging and raping underage girls. He was super pissed off about it, regardless of the fact that it's obviously a ridiculous idea that nobody would take seriously. Just let it go, man. It's not worth expending mental energy on, and if you're worried about that, you're just going to spend your energy thinking of arguments against it, but it was never relevant in the first place. Define the problems that you think are worthy of solving, and spend your energy on those.
2018-03-15 at 4:36 PM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
I take too long in the shower. To be fair, I do brush my teeth while I'm in there. I've gotten better over the last couple of years. Now I can manage 15 minutes, and more like ten if I don't need to wash my hair. I know it sounds like a minor complaint, but time-management has been a pervasive issue in my life for years. Anybody who knows me would tell you it's likely my worst quality.
2018-03-15 at 9:17 PM UTC
#1) I'm sentient.
#2) A lack of benzos.
#3) A lack of dextroamphetamine.
2018-03-15 at 9:24 PM UTC
Not enough nis posts to read
Or I lack the knowledge of the lingo being used
Falling asleep at all my commitments
No girl to make me food
And the last that I can't tell if it's an issue or I'm just a little girl. But I'm always cold. But this will go away in the summer. In the summer, my allergies are active.
