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Shitty Technical Jokes
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2015-07-23 at 6:41 AM UTCWhat was Alonzo Church's favorite meat? Lamb, DUH!
Did you know Denis Richie was a chemist briefly before waiting C? His area of study was MALLOCular STRUCTures -
2015-07-23 at 6:42 AM UTCWhy did the developer choose to do his project in PHP? Because he didn't node any better
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2015-07-23 at 7:14 AM UTCBecause 7 8 9
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2015-07-23 at 12:13 PM UTCWhy do programmers always confuse halloween and christmas? Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.
How many programmer's does it take to change a light bulb? None, it's a hardware problem. -
2015-07-23 at 9:34 PM UTCWhat is Dracula's favorite file extension?
Bat files. -
2015-07-24 at 1:51 AM UTCWhat do lisp programmers and professional criminals have in common?
First they do a lot of cons, then they have a lot of cars. -
2015-07-24 at 8:07 PM UTCWhat's the object-oriented way to get wealthy? Inheritance.
What do computer's and air-conditioner's have in common? They both become useless when you open Windows.
Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
Unix is user friendly, it's just very particular about who its friends are. -
2015-07-24 at 8:12 PM UTCThis one is great too.
// Life Motto
if (sad() ==== true) {
sad.stop.();
BeAwesome();
} -
2015-07-25 at 1:01 AM UTCAll my relationships are a bit like java anonymous classes, they seem like a good idea at first but I can never seem to get any closure.
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2015-07-25 at 1:02 AM UTCWhat do poorly implemented recursive functions and my dad have in common? They never return.
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2015-07-25 at 4:32 AM UTCWhat did Win95 say to Win98?
Hey, you wanna hang?
(there's a blue dress somewhere in there, too) -
2015-07-25 at 2:25 PM UTC
Also:
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?â€
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcuâ€
“Please excuse my friend,†the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.†-
2015-07-25 at 2:38 PM UTC[SIZE=72px]This one is for Lan Lan[/SIZE]
In the 1960's the KGB was very interested in learning everything possible about the American space program, sending all sorts of spies to find every possible piece of information.
One afternoon, a breathless spy returned to headquarters with a page of paper in his hand, excitedly shouting to his superior, "Comrade! Comrade! The Americans are using Lisp to write their rocket launching software!"
The commander was skeptical. "How do you know?"
"I broke into their research lab and stole a page from the teletype machine! It's not the whole program, but it's the final page and contains the concluding logic of the program! See for yourself!!!!"
The commander looked at the page and smiled and this is what it said http://pastebin.com/VrP2svXJ -
2015-07-26 at 6:42 AM UTClol, I like that. I once heard a similar joke, I don't really remember how it went so I can't deliver the punch line in a funny way but the gist was that Tom Knight (a famous lisp programmer) would write all his programs start to finishing without refactoring or changing them and at the end he would just lean on the right paren key for a few minutes.
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2015-07-26 at 1:01 PM UTC
lol, I like that. I once heard a similar joke, I don't really remember how it went so I can't deliver the punch line in a funny way but the gist was that Tom Knight (a famous lisp programmer) would write all his programs start to finishing without refactoring or changing them and at the end he would just lean on the right paren key for a few minutes.
LISP: Lotsa Insignificant Stupid Parantheses.
That's all i know about the language lulz. -
2015-07-26 at 7:08 PM UTCYou may want to consult this informative video for a brief overview of LISP's most salient features:
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2015-07-26 at 9:28 PM UTC
You may want to consult this informative video for a brief overview of LISP's most salient features:
That was very informative and hilarious. -
2015-07-29 at 1:12 AM UTCWhat do lumberjacks and theoretical computer scientists have in common? They're both interested in trees n log n (trees 'n logging)
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2015-07-29 at 2:35 AM UTC
This one is great too.
// Life Motto
if (sad() ==== true) {
sad.stop.();
BeAwesome();
}
while(!crunk){get(crunk)};
ps. what bastard language uses four equals for a boolean match
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2015-07-29 at 3:07 AM UTC
while(!crunk){get(crunk)};
ps. what bastard language uses four equals for a boolean match
WOOPS Added one = too many, lel as far as i know in some languages === is comparison operator that not only checks if the objects are comparable and equal, but also if both values are of equivalent types. However, the code is kinda bullshit anyway from what i read. I'm not much of a programmer myself as you can clearly tell but SUPPOSEDLY it's js according to the guy who posted it originally and i don't even javascript but i don't think this is how you do it right.
Just thought it was funny.
