As disappointing as it sounds neither have I. I did find one of my friend's moms on Adult Friend Finder and just so happened ended up banging said friend's mom. Not through use of the website though but reading her profile gave me a huge advantage when setting out for the night. My friend was in prison and so we had the house to ourselves we ended up getting smashed on Wild Turkey and I said something horrifically cheesy like "I've always liked you" while brushing her hair out of her face and then I think we simultaneously went in for the a kiss. A nigga go donald trump when I'm lookin' for the snatch.
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But what about those gold plated Lamborghini's and towers full of fountains that spout vsop Hennessy brah?
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2017-07-02 at 7:45 AM UTC
in
Questions about Fingerprints
Liquid Band aid would probably be more trustworthy after all it's used and created to seal/cover up wounds. I read actually I think Totse of all places that cutting your fingers open with a razor blade at certain distinct markings of your fingerprints and then shoving powder Draino into them disfigures them enough that the cops couldn't make an indisputable match even if they already have your prints on file.
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^I can tell the guy is a massive fag just by what he's wearing.
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I just took this now after waking from a 4 day meth binge.
The man, the myth, the nigga, the legend.
Post last edited by RestStop at 2017-06-21T06:08:57.869021+00:00Post last edited by RestStop at 2017-06-21T06:09:48.046268+00:00
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It was a hot summer day and I was in my workout room benching 1200 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 10 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. She is really fucking hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Jessica called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.
I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my dick. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my dick. Booya.
Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 30 inch dick is going inside of her vagina, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 30,000 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder". V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my dick. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.
I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.
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2017-06-26 at 9:02 PM UTC
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The 35 Edgiest Posters
I guess the next question is who is the most "Edging" poster here?
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2017-07-02 at 9:03 AM UTC
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Light websites
Originally posted by Dargo
Play the Wikipedia game. Try to connect one stupid term to another using only the permalinks in Wikipedia articles. Example: Start on 'Barack Obama' and try to get to 'sauerkraut'. Good luck.
Just learned a new word that I sorta practice IRL : Obscurantism. So I learned something today it's a miracle.
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Originally posted by mmQ
I wonder how the doctor tells a mom that her baby has a birth defect. Like normally after birth a mom is relieved and happy, but in these cases what, the doctor just looks up and says, "Welp, uhhh, congratulations and whatnot, oh and your baby has no fucking BRAIN. Sorry."
This is what the doctor told my mom.
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Originally posted by 霍比特人
This is the best answer. It can also be succinctly summarized as 'man up.'
Agreed. As someone who's drank and done ungodly amounts of drugs for well over a decade I admit I'm being hypocritical here but this place is too rampant with "Oh got a problem? Here's a list of over 9,000 drugs that could possibly cure it". Those suggestions may well be even valid and true with various scientific studies and personal experience backing them up.
The kicker though is it usually ends up with someone first getting the positive and intended results but later there will a thread 6-12 months later something along the lines of "I'm addicted to benzos, what can I do to ease the withdrawals?" In which even more drugs usually even more shit-tier are suggested and the cycle goes on and on.
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2017-07-02 at 7:19 AM UTC
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EYEBLEACH FOR DARGOS THREAD
Originally posted by Dargo
Wimpy ass bitch.
I admit I saw your first pic in that thread after shoving the very first slice of pizza in my mouth and promptly forgot about eating the rest. I guess I'm a bitch like that but that pic was horrific brah. Though I suppose that was probably the ultimate goal in mind so you accomplished that at least with me.
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Originally posted by infinityshock
stop being a coy little princess and show some initiative. suck my cock for once without me having to give you specific instructions.
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Originally posted by cerakote
why does meth make me wistfully listen to country music
It is a little known fact that most meth makers are indeed hicks and thus hardcore country music fans. The "soul" of country music is intertwined with the meth.
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2017-07-01 at 5:45 PM UTC
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Taking requests.
Originally posted by Six*Six*Scronald4
What part of ART, IMAGES, MEMES eludes you? you fucking junkie waste of space lying about your fake business like captain falcon lololol.
THIS IS ABOUT CUSTOM ART, IMAGES YOU RETARDED FUCKS!. BANNNNNEDDDD FOR LIFE FROM MY ART!!!.
Now if anyone has any REAL requests for something not retarded I will make it.
I'll gladly do up violent murder, rape, child porn meme edits,. Some of my best work is very illegal I can't even post it here.
ALso I have PI , pictures, names and locations for almost everyone that posts here.
any hop any hip
What's my first name? No...don't try to weasel out of it by posting some nonsense about rattoxes and triangles faggot. My first name...NOW!
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About a year ago I was involved in a car accident where I was the only fatality in a truck containing 6 people. I remember looking up from the passenger seat and seeing an oncoming vehicle and the rest is just darkness. I couldn't move or speak and could only listen to the screaming of my friends as they escaped the burning truck. Eventually all went quiet and I could hear a soft voice and a man appeared in front of me. The man informed me I was dead and that it was time I move on. Confused, I asked what he was talking about and if this was a dream. The man smiled and said that denial is a part of moving on but agreed to show me proof. Suddenly we were at a funeral viewing and the man carefully guided me up to the casket. After taking a closer look I all but freaked out as I saw myself lying dead in the casket. With my hands trembling as I touched my cold skin reality began to set in.
“Let’s go” he said. “We can’t stay here forever.”
I was shocked and began breaking down. I pleaded with the man to help me, after all I was just a sophomore in college with so much life ahead of me. I asked the man if there was anyway he could help me or give me a chance.
“Well yes, there is one way, but of course like everything it comes at a cost.” He said.
“What sort of cost? Like my soul?” I replied.
“No, no, my child I am not trying to take your soul it is already accounted for. However, there is still a price to pay but what exactly it is varies from person to person. Think of it as more of a trade, by accepting this extension you agree to trade me something back.”
“Will anyone be hurt?”
“Have no fear; no one will endure any pain. The price may not even be realized immediately, and don’t worry your satisfaction is guaranteed.”
The man then looked in his coat and pulled out a black book, he flipped through the pages, turned his focus back to me and said:
“Now if you’re ready to go through with this, please just sign here” He pointed at a blank page in the book.
“In blood?” I asked
The man chuckled softly and stated: “No my boy, with this pen”
He handed me a pen and I began to sign the book. As I finished my signature I began to feel warmth in my chest and the man began to fade away. The last thing he said to me before he vanished was:
“Bye for now and I hope you are satisfied with this trade.”
I woke up in a hospital bed and was told I had been in an accident and more importantly I had been the sole survivor of a crash that should have killed me. The doctor stated that it was a miracle I survived unscathed while the others died on impact. He also informed me that I had been in a coma for quite some time but that with therapy I should be back to normal in no time. A while later my parents visited and explained that due to the drunken semi driver hitting us that my friend’s families and my family had gotten some rather large settlements. My parents said that with proper investing and management I wouldn’t have to ever worry about money.
As you can imagine I wasn’t able to sleep well. Every time my eyes would close I would hear my friends’ screams, this was eventually paired with images of them yelling as flames engulfed them. Having to live in the house 2 of my now deceased friends shared with me didn’t help either. I drink a lot now to try and escape the reality that I selfishly traded my one life for theirs. After all, they were my best friends since elementary and I selfishly traded my own life for theirs. Days, weeks and months went on with me killing bottle after bottle trying to cope with myself all while crazily calling to the air that I wanted to undo this trade. I thought I would never here from the man and that I was just crazy and thought a dream was reality. However, yesterday something strange happened, the doorbell rang and as I carried my hungover self to the door and opened it I realized there was no one there. Looking down I noticed a black business card with red letters lying on the ground with two lines that read:
“Unsatisfied with your recent trade?”
“Give me a call!”
The back of the card had a number paired with an image of the familiar man printed next to it. Nothing prepared me for what was in store for me when I called that number.
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Originally posted by cerakote
check out a story called "why i havent showered in 21 years", i think you'd like it
I just read it...get it...Reddit...bad joke but seriously I did read it and it's definitely one of the better stories on there.
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Originally posted by Hikikomori-Yume
you probably have no real experience with alcohol and have never been properly drunk before.
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LOL
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