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Posts by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊
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2019-10-29 at 6:12 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕I listen to loli ripe every day
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2019-10-29 at 5:57 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Im thinking of taking like 30mg of bundy with 12mg of lope to make my body stop aching from babbywithdrawal. These are microdoses so im sure its safe, but at the same time i dont like the idea of taking psychoactive substances while detoxing
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2019-10-29 at 5:54 PM UTC in infinityshock and Pretty Hate Machine have cured my racism
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2019-10-29 at 3:55 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
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2019-10-29 at 3:49 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Heres to another day of everything aching
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2019-10-29 at 1:33 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕tomorrow I'm going to take a walk outside <3<3<3
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2019-10-29 at 1:12 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕
Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 Even mild opioid withdrawal is shittier than the comedown from just about anything, mostly because it lasts so long
Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 I have no friends and no life. I only leave the house to go to the store. Im bordering on being incapable of taking care of myself, and Im too tired to even move my body most of the time. I have no hobbies or passions, the only thing ive done for fun in years is get high enough to focus on video games. As a teenager this wasnt too abnormal, but now that Im in my 20s with no life skills, no experience, and total social isolation Im thinking im bound to just be forever alone and a non functioning human. I dont have opioids to brighten my mood so I now can analyze how hopeless and dead my situation really is. Ive already missed out on the important parts that would define my life, squandered all my social relationships. How the fuck I can bounce back from this and become someone who isnt a loser I have no idea. I am so lonely for years and I have nothing to look foward to but a computer screen and my body is weak and tired like an AIDS man
Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 Like I have no idea where to start making friends again that i would actually want to be around, and even if i did what would i have to say for myself "im 22 and ive never accomplished anything and i have no job and my parents do my laundry for me". Its like im permanently going to be frozen in time as a 13 year old before i started inhaling toxic fumes, who missed out on every developmental stage afterwards. Sometimes I wonder if i genuinely have some form of mental retardation or autism or parkinsons disease because i dont think ive ever met someone who destroyed their own life as blatantly as i have
Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 All I've been thinking about for like a week is some weird looking girl from 8th grade, and getting all upset about it out of nowhere, and I'm making myself cringe at how pathetic it is to the point of suicide. My life is so devoid of social interaction that I'm still thinking about a middle school crush, and probably everyone else I knew is living somewhat normally and successfully and has actual friends and hobbies. These ruminative thought processes are getting so fucking lame I'm ashamed at my own existence. This is what happens when you dont meet any new people for 10 years.
this 4/10 fugly bitch i havent seen in a decade means everything to me i love her!!!!11 i don't remember ever facepalming at myself harder than i am now, i've never realized i'm this much of a loser before holy shit.
Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 Basically it's get any job at all and go outside to social events. I guess I knew this already, and I'm also the laziest person in the world. Either I will make something of myself and start working out and become Chad, or I'll live a shitty life of being a homeless holding up signs for crackmony. The first one sounds better. Whenever I'm sober for 2 days I start whining about how badly I've cucked away many years, around a week sober I start having motivation to do things besides lay down. Drugs have been the #1 causative factor of my failure but being sober is a different kind of hell. Once you ramp up your dopamine production to 500%, even being at the regular 100% never feels like enough. It's a permanent anhedonia. The substance abuse causes my depression and the depression causes my substance abuse and its an endless cycle of failure. Knowing these things and enacting them is a whole different set of skills that I have not yet mastered.
Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊 Well besides that there's also the mental health issues that make it harder.
My OCD is stupid bad to the point where showering everyday causes me intense anxiety because I'm scrubbing myself for an hour straight losing my shit. If I had to take out the trash or unclog a toilet I would have a panic attack from touching anything with germs, touching random surfaces or the dishes in the sink will make me have to wash my hands for 5 minutes straight. Being a functional person is especially hard when doing just about anything causes fear.
Social anxiety makes me 100% convinced that everyone I talk to thinks I'm retarded, then afterwards I spent like an hour hyperanalyzing two second slices of information from an interaction and psyching myself out that I must have the worst social skills in the world. This is just from basic interactions. Another thing I have a particularly hard time with is actually showing my real personality to people. I have like a fake nice passive persona that I have difficulty breaking out of, like there's a total dissociation between how I act in real life and how I post on here. It's hard to make close friends when I'm unable to show them who I really am, so in having close personal conversations I'm locked into a role I act out.
yay i'm freakin out again! -
2019-10-29 at 12:46 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Well besides that there's also the mental health issues that make it harder.
My OCD is stupid bad to the point where showering everyday causes me intense anxiety because I'm scrubbing myself for an hour straight losing my shit. If I had to take out the trash or unclog a toilet I would have a panic attack from touching anything with germs, touching random surfaces or the dishes in the sink will make me have to wash my hands for 5 minutes straight. Being a functional person is especially hard when doing just about anything causes fear.
Social anxiety makes me 100% convinced that everyone I talk to thinks I'm retarded, then afterwards I spent like an hour hyperanalyzing two second slices of information from an interaction and psyching myself out that I must have the worst social skills in the world. This is just from basic interactions. Another thing I have a particularly hard time with is actually showing my real personality to people. I have like a fake nice passive persona that I have difficulty breaking out of, like there's a total dissociation between how I act in real life and how I post on here. It's hard to make close friends when I'm unable to show them who I really am, so in having close personal conversations I'm locked into a role I act out. -
2019-10-29 at 12:35 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Basically it's get any job at all and go outside to social events. I guess I knew this already, and I'm also the laziest person in the world. Either I will make something of myself and start working out and become Chad, or I'll live a shitty life of being a homeless holding up signs for crackmony. The first one sounds better. Whenever I'm sober for 2 days I start whining about how badly I've cucked away many years, around a week sober I start having motivation to do things besides lay down. Drugs have been the #1 causative factor of my failure but being sober is a different kind of hell. Once you ramp up your dopamine production to 500%, even being at the regular 100% never feels like enough. It's a permanent anhedonia. The substance abuse causes my depression and the depression causes my substance abuse and its an endless cycle of failure. Knowing these things and enacting them is a whole different set of skills that I have not yet mastered.
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2019-10-29 at 12:21 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕All I've been thinking about for like a week is some weird looking girl from 8th grade, and getting all upset about it out of nowhere, and I'm making myself cringe at how pathetic it is to the point of suicide. My life is so devoid of social interaction that I'm still thinking about a middle school crush, and probably everyone else I knew is living somewhat normally and successfully and has actual friends and hobbies. These ruminative thought processes are getting so fucking lame I'm ashamed at my own existence. This is what happens when you dont meet any new people for 10 years.
this 4/10 fugly bitch i havent seen in a decade means everything to me i love her!!!!11 i don't remember ever facepalming at myself harder than i am now, i've never realized i'm this much of a loser before holy shit. -
2019-10-29 at 12:06 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Is there some way out of this ever
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2019-10-29 at 12:03 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Like I have no idea where to start making friends again that i would actually want to be around, and even if i did what would i have to say for myself "im 22 and ive never accomplished anything and i have no job and my parents do my laundry for me". Its like im permanently going to be frozen in time as a 13 year old before i started inhaling toxic fumes, who missed out on every developmental stage afterwards. Sometimes I wonder if i genuinely have some form of mental retardation or autism or parkinsons disease because i dont think ive ever met someone who destroyed their own life as blatantly as i have
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2019-10-28 at 11:55 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕I have no friends and no life. I only leave the house to go to the store. Im bordering on being incapable of taking care of myself, and Im too tired to even move my body most of the time. I have no hobbies or passions, the only thing ive done for fun in years is get high enough to focus on video games. As a teenager this wasnt too abnormal, but now that Im in my 20s with no life skills, no experience, and total social isolation Im thinking im bound to just be forever alone and a non functioning human. I dont have opioids to brighten my mood so I now can analyze how hopeless and dead my situation really is. Ive already missed out on the important parts that would define my life, squandered all my social relationships. How the fuck I can bounce back from this and become someone who isnt a loser I have no idea. I am so lonely for years and I have nothing to look foward to but a computer screen and my body is weak and tired like an AIDS man
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2019-10-28 at 10:49 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕that's not me
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2019-10-28 at 10:47 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕color me spooked packy
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2019-10-28 at 10:27 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕Ever went full dumb?
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2019-10-28 at 10:17 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕I cant stop cringing
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2019-10-28 at 10:06 PM UTC in Hispanic man in TX nearly dies of heart attack after 10 energy drinks per day habit
Originally posted by Wariat Iv had a one to two monster per day habit for a while and it is almost like I'm so used to caffeine they don't really give me any energy its just i am addicted to the coldness and sweet flavor more than anything. But Earlier today i tried to lay down and rest before going to the gym and i felt like my body was shaking a bit like the energy and tiredness together was learning my body as i lay there awake with my eyes clothes meditating like ive learned to do in prison to shut out my surroundings and realized yea even one can have an effect.
Eyes clothes -
2019-10-28 at 9:08 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion 💩🖕I want to work in a post-fallout north african embassy
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2019-10-28 at 8:47 PM UTC in Hispanic man in TX nearly dies of heart attack after 10 energy drinks per day habitI drink like 2 a day. Dont like coffee
