2019-05-26 at 4:22 AM UTC
in
I jack off like a bitch
Like not even the hard, fast, or anything...
Won't that make you their #1 priority person to kick out
Thats why places like walmart check recipts 🖕
You could try hitting the pill bottles on the shelves. Actually forget eggs, just throw a bunch of dodge balls or those bouncy balls back there, you'll knock down more bottles. Get diagnosed with something like psychosis and say you had an psychotic episode when you went to get your medication that you had been off a few days = no punishment.
One time when I was on bundy I had this thought that it was an intended event to be a "metaphor of my life". Do you think almost all of us wouldn't have been born if it didn't sink?
Grow some weed in your pole barn base thing.
Places which deal with the public would fire then, but other places would probably want to fire them, but it would harder and more awkward if the reason isn't cause they keep farting in front of customers.
Maybe something like working in the concessions stand at a country club, with co-workers that aren't douches, and lots of time just SITTING around not doing anything. Would that be kick ass...?
2019-05-24 at 3:28 AM UTC
in
Do the time, not the crime!
Maybe with pay, for like a week.
2019-05-21 at 12:25 AM UTC
in
Post Excuses for Missing Work
I had priapism, and my dick is too big to tuck.
2019-05-21 at 12:24 AM UTC
in
Post Excuses for Missing Work
There was a really really really long train.
That's what it sounds like, lol 😆
2019-05-19 at 8:56 PM UTC
in
Anyone here have OCD?
I check every banknote $5 and higher (the only ones with watermarks etc) to make it's real cause I have this paranoid fear of getting a counterfeit and spending it and having the secret service search my house and shit.
2019-05-19 at 7:08 PM UTC
in
cop finds drugs on school bus
Did you hear about the 4,000 people ticketed for half a gram of weed of a cruise ship?
I REALLY don't wanna go there today I'm tired already and I worked already I'm gonna totally be a punk ass and be slow cause I don't give a shit. (More so today than normal.
