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Posts That Were Thanked by Sudo
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2020-01-20 at 12:15 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!More applebee stories!
One time this short fat kid with a big butt got hired. Pretty decent worker and got the hang of things. Then his brother got hired. Really scrawny kid and he sucked at work. It took him forever to get things down but once he knew how to do something he knew it for good. They were Cameron and Guage. They earned the nick names Cam Shaft and .12 Guage.
WifeDead and I use to fuck with each others stations to make it as messy as possible. Or only I fucked with his. I forget. WifeDead was fry side and I was mid doing burgers and shit. Fry side had an improper drain so water would pool there when we cleaned the floors. One time, to fuck with WifeDead, I took the garden hose, set it around the corner where he couldn't see it and barely turned it on. He was splashing around in water and when he found out just said, "I don't really care."
So Cam Shaft worked fry side. He was an early out one day so I'm terrorizing WifeDeads spot because he has to close. I'm lifting up cutting boards and throwing hot sauce and pepper under there and a bunch of other shit. Cam Shaft tells me to stop. I assure him he doesn't have to clean it so what's the problem? He keeps telling me to stop and I don't. He was kinda a weird kid so next time I go to do something he's holding a giant knife and lunges at me. I jump back and don't get stabbed.
The felon on the line, who has stabbed a prison guard in the throat told me, "I thought that was real." So I asked Cam Shaft later. Were you really going to stab me? He replied, "I didn't know I wasn't going to stab you until I didn't."
Then I tried to take him shooting and WifeDead asked me, "You're going to take the kid who almost stabbed you, and put a gun in his hands?" Then I moved to Montana, where .12 Guage and Cam Shaft were originally from. I'm working a shitty gas station job and I see Cam. We exchange numbers and I finally take him shooting. Showed him his first pot plants too. He left one of my .22s loaded and had minimal gun safety and couldn't aim for shit but it was fun.
I lost his number with my old phone but last I heard he fell in love with some one older than him with a kid. Apparently she's a freak. He showed me some pictures and she looked hot. He told me stories about how he can ask to eat chocolate sauce off her body. She just said to keep it out of her hair.
One time up here in Montana I was drinking beer with him on his birthday and he told me a story. He met some guy who offered him weed late at night outside of the library. Cam agrees and goes to his house. The gentlemen offered Cam to butt fuck him and Cam agrees. Then the guy says it's only fair that he can buttfuck Cam. The guy assures Cam that if he doesn't like it, he'll stop. It starts getting bad for Cam and he says so. The guy just keeps buttfucking this poor kid. Cam told me this story laughing. I laughed with him because I think he was trying to cope with it but I was shocked. I never pegged Cam to be into pegging. Let alone being raped by a strange man with the allure of drugs. -
2020-01-19 at 11:27 PM UTC in 2020s aestheticsThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-19 at 11:20 PM UTC in life of a gay porner or any creative professional really who freelances
DyingThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-19 at 9:46 PM UTC in Pedophilia threadedited for privacyThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-19 at 7:44 PM UTC in Is the Switch worth it?Use the money to buy a gun and shoot yourself in the head with
Would be much better use of your money.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-19 at 2:41 PM UTC in Hydromorphone to be available from Vancouver vending machines for 32 cents a 8mg pill
Originally posted by Sudo It's a fucking vending machine that dispenses drugs in fucking Vancouver you retard of course it's for people on the street, fuck you're dumb and naive
Naa fam, dis wat gun happen
*casually parks 2019 Accord and strolls up to dilaudid vending machine in a Canada Goose puffer jacket*The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-19 at 10:01 AM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by OMGPLZUNBAN So one time…..
WifeDead and I were working a applebees. Some nigger worked there and made manager in no time flat. I mean nigger not because he was black. But because he was a piece of shit. He ordered wings and requested drum sticks only. So WifeDead made him a serving of all wings with one drum stick. He was pissed. We were good buddies so this retard called us both into the office, during a rush to say how it was unprofessional or something. WifeDead showed up to work drunk and pulled out a baller move and just said, "Ain't no thang but a chicken wang." A solid argument looking back.
Poast recently convinced me to jump in and tell some stories, and you stole the one I was going to tell.
You didn't even give that hilarious story the justice it deserves. Sir was mad pissed and we were on the chopping block for getting fired after that, I'm pretty sure the district manager only let us keep our jobs because she thought it was cute when I said "ain't no thang but a chicken wang."
Drunk me is pretty good at being stupid, funny and sexy all at the same time. As evident, me and that one manager you were trying to get with made out in her car when she drove me to the ER after I cut the tip off my thumb off while drunk at work. Tongue deep, bleeding all over her car and everything. When I got back with all my stitches, she had cleaned up and acted like nothing ever happened but always had a winky look when she walked by me.
Anyways, some other funny story is the infamous "48 hour blackout." Me and like 5 other dudes (OMG included, not sure if Poast was there) got so drunk that we all lost two days. Nobody knows what happened, but some sober dude stopped by at one point and said he walked in and found a goddamn dogpile of dudes passed out in the center of our living room in the middle of the day and b-lined it for the exit.
At the tail end of the 48 hour blackout, I woke up with some chick in my bed. Me and OMG shared a bunk bed, and I had top bunk because I was the beta. We all three woke up around the same time, and OMG threw on The Dark Knight for the hundredth time because that's what we always watched.
I start watching from above, girl starts watching with me. We can't see OMG, but he keeps up with commentary. At one point, OMG is just babbling about shit nobody cares about, she yells down "SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO CHEAT ON MY BOYFRIEND!" and then looks at me.
OMG says back "What?" I'm looking at her like "lolwut?" And she says "doesn't matter, the guy I wanted to hear it heard it" while looking me dead in the eye. I figure fuck it, and start feeling her up. Things escalate quickly, and OMG notices. He eventually leaves the room and slams the door super butthurt.
I end up banging the fuck out of her to The Dark Knight and pausing to quote my favorite scenes. I was straight up balls deep watching the movie saying shit like "YOU THOUGHT WE COULD BE DECENT MEN, IN AN INDECENT TIME--BUT YOU WERE WRONG!"
We wrecked that bunk bed, and she probably fucked off shortly after because I have no memory of ever seeing her again. The icing on the cake is that years later, OMG told me she fell asleep in his bed and he started feeling her up, and she said "dude, I have a boyfriend" then climbed up into my bed. Apparently I have more game than OMG while sleeping than he does at his best.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-19 at 6:30 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion ๐ฉ๐I wanna be my own THEY.
THE WREN COMMUNITY. I'm gonna sit at the entryway/exit of my apt building and hold the door shut unless pay people pay me 10 dollars. Crackheads and people of color get in for free.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-19 at 5:24 AM UTC in Hydromorphone to be available from Vancouver vending machines for 32 cents a 8mg pillActually in Vancouver they'll give people morphine too. Couple hundred milligrams a day.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-19 at 4:34 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion ๐ฉ๐The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-19 at 4:26 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion ๐ฉ๐The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-18 at 10:41 PM UTC in Partial list of animalia confirmed to have naturally occurring homosexualityยงmยฃรgรL you seem to share my love of and fascination with the animal world. If we had more motivation, and less mental illness, we would be biologists.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-18 at 9:45 PM UTC in The longest thread on the internet! Free custom LOLcats inside! Ask within!
Originally posted by CASPER -contribution-
Remind me to write about the time I helped an illiterate lazy eyed hooker write her craigslist advertisements and it legit took me 10 minutes to come up with a proper adjective for โsweaty, knock kneed, hairy and torn upโ . I think I settled 9n โearthyโ
Originally posted by aldra if I may be so presumptuous
How did I miss this? Your LOLcat needs work. Especially on the whiskers. And why is his bottom face a triangle? You got chops kid but this is a hard business to get into. Especially with work like that.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-18 at 8:43 PM UTC in 00s vs 10sedited for privacyThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-18 at 7:36 PM UTC in Hydromorphone to be available from Vancouver vending machines for 32 cents a 8mg pillThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-18 at 6:48 PM UTC in Man I went ham last night
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2020-01-18 at 1:46 PM UTC in Hydromorphone to be available from Vancouver vending machines for 32 cents a 8mg pillinb4 gay jokes
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/dilaudid-vending-machine-solution-opioid-overdose-tyndall-1.4458358
Pretty cool. You have to be registered as someone with an opioid problem and evidently have your biometrics put into some system so you can actually buy the shit. Apparently they already have some public works that give you hydromorphone to inject. If I lived in Vancouver and was addicted to opiates, I'd definitely be taking advantage of their programs. 30-40% drop in deaths due to opioids from 2018 to 2019. That is pretty insane.
https://www.vancouverisawesome.com/vancouver-news/fentanyl-use-growing-british-columbia-investigation-1944002The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-18 at 8:17 AM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion ๐ฉ๐Had a good day 2day. Flushed like .3 meth down the toilet earlier but I be enjoying the night (only saying that from the high)The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2020-01-17 at 10:58 PM UTC in Secure messaging softwareSnapchat is fun cause of all the enhamcementings but voxxer is funne too
300 bit encryption
One awesome thing about Snapchat is the tokens and it self restricts the message after its been seenThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2020-01-17 at 7:44 PM UTC in The R'tarded thread: The Shitfucking Edidtion ๐ฉ๐
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
