Tapped someone on the shoulder too hard and they took offense and did a citizens arrest I was humiliated but at the end of the day right is right , fundamentals
I frocking HATE when the cops make me go to the pokey but it is what it is
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She kept looking at me funny that's when I realized there was SHIT ALL OVER my shirt I was downright embarrassed but hey, what are ya gonna do, how about that weather we've been having literary wtf is up with it
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When they pick you up you have a very large magnetic Nazi swastika that you quietly attack to the car that way it's like Hilter is driving you and they're none the wiser but it's just for you , because in you're headyou know hintler took the weel
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I'm thinking about a green goblin slushy from Saint Louis bread company. They should make a new version of the bakery where the coffee ladies put a silken hose on you're tite sack and yank it till youre slushy or coffee is finished
But I don't want to get out of bed, I'm hiding under the blanket from loif but I'm thinking about that slushy though
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Wow you're a handsome and well tanned son, I didn't get nothin for mine mom
Originally posted by Kafka
Is it weird if a woman doesn't own a vibrator? I used to search my mum's room as a teen to steal her money and she didn't have one. Always creeped me out a bit.
Lmrao
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Let's not forget that braking had nothing to do with this accident. It was caused by an overheated wheel bearing which 3 separate dectors reported. It wasn't until a temptature of over 650 degrees higher than the ambient temperature that was reported that the crew chose to apply breaks. Then the bearing failed causing 23 cars to derail
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I do believe, my tiger is durrrring it, AGAIN!. When the Schooner hits your eye like a big pizza a pie that's Steeeve - adoreay
Hold my parrot , and whatcha this while I hustle and muscle and buscle for rank ( driving my Krusty Krab boat with a wooden steering wjeel
Hold my logic pussle and get ready for you're transverse cullin. Hi I'm Todd Bidet and I'll turn the light on for you, here at Transverse Culligan for over 5 years we've been getting wetted
Bigly luviscious.
Welcome TO MY HARBOR, WE ARE MINING DIIIIIAMONDS
You would either be born a meemaid or a long cool FAGGOT in a black dress
.
Now walk the plank and grab those ankles . WORK IT TOOT IT SCOOT IT HOWWIE DOOOOEEER IT
I'm gonna rank this as my number 1 strangest guest encounter, above the young woman carnival worker with a single tooth who wanted a "fuck ton" of black olives on her sub at 10pm... "no really" she says, "I mean a FUCK TON"... All I could imagine was her playing ring toss with the olives on that one lone tooth, but I digress.
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The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!