Posts by Malice

1. 2015-09-18 at 5:32 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   I'll copy paste it for you. It's in LSD: Doorway to the Numinous
   
   As unpredictable as the content of the LSD reaction is its intensity; the individual responses to the same dosage level vary considerably. My experience indicates that the degree of sensitivity or resistance to LSD depends on complicated psychological factors rather than on variables of a constitutional, biological, or metabolic nature. Subjects who in everyday life have the need to maintain full self-control and have difficulties in relaxing and “letting go” can sometimes resist relatively high dosages of LSD (300 to 500 micrograms) and show no detectable changes. Occasionally, a person can resist a considerable dose of LSD if he has set this as a personal task for himself for any reason. He may decide to do this to defy the therapist and compete with him, to demonstrate his “strength” to himself and to others, to endure more than his fellow patients, or for many other reasons. Usually, however, more relevant unconscious motives can be found underlying such superficial rationalizations.
   
   Another cause for a high resistance to the effect of the drug may be insufficient preparation, instruction, and reassurance of the subject, a lack of his full agreement and cooperation, or absence of basic trust in the therapeutic relationship. In this case, the LSD reaction sometimes does not take its full course until the motives of resistance are analyzed and understood. Occasional sudden sobering, which can occur at any period of the session and on any dosage level, can be understood as a sudden mobilization of defenses against the emergence of unpleasant traumatic material. Among psychiatric patients, severe obsessive-compulsive neurotics are particularly resistant to the effect of LSD. It has been a common observation in my research that such patients can resist dosages of more than 500 micrograms of LSD and show only slight signs of physical or psychological distress. In extreme cases, it can take several dozen high-dose LSD sessions before the psychological resistances of these individuals are reduced to the point that they start having episodes of regression to childhood and become aware of the unconscious material that has to be worked through. The excessive resistance of obsessive-compulsive patients can be illustrated by the following clinical example.
   
   Erwin, a twenty-two-year-old student, was referred to the LSD treatment program after four years of unsuccessful therapy for a severe obsessive-compulsive neurosis. Over the years, he had developed a very complicated system of obsessive thoughts and became so preoccupied with it that it paralyzed all his other activities. He was compelled to imagine in his mind’s eye a geometrical structure with two coordinate axes and locate within this system all the problems and duties he encountered in his everyday life. At times he spent many hours desperately trying to find the proper location for some aspect of his existence, but always without success. Before admission, he felt that the center of gravity of his imaginary coordinate system was shifting to the left; this upset him enormously and resulted in feelings of tension, apprehension, anxiety, insecurity, and depression. In addition, Erwin suffered from various psychosomatic symptoms and tended to interpret them in a hypochondriacal way. He was referred for psycholytic therapy after several hospitalizations and unsuccessful treatment with tranquillizers, antidepressants, and drug-free psychotherapy. Erwin manifested a rather spectacular resistance to the effect of LSD. After psychological preparation of two weeks’ duration, he started having regular LSD sessions in weekly intervals. The initial dose of 100 micrograms was increased by fifty to one hundred micrograms every week, since he barely showed any response. Finally, he was given 1500 micrograms intramuscularly, with the hope that this would overcome his resistance. Between the second and third hour of the session, when the effect of LSD usually culminates, Erwin felt bored and a little hungry; according to his description as well as external manifestations, nothing unusual was happening. He seemed to be so well composed and in such full control that he was allowed to go with the therapist to a kitchenette on the ward, cut a piece of bread with a knife, open a can of liver paste, and have a snack. After he was finished, he wanted to go to the social room in the ward and play chess, because he felt he needed some distraction from the uneventful and monotonous therapeutic experiment.
   It took thirty-eight high-dose sessions before Erwin’s defense system was reduced to the point that he started regressing into childhood and reliving traumatic experiences.
   
   It became obvious after this and similar observations that high psychological resistance to LSD cannot be broken merely by an increase in dosage and that it has to be gradually alleviated by a series of sessions. It seems that there exists a saturation point for LSD somewhere between 400 and 500 micrograms; if the subject does not respond adequately to this dosage, additional LSD will not change anything in the situation.
2. 2015-09-18 at 5:03 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   Autism.
3. 2015-09-18 at 1:39 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   Dammit Casper, I didn't our paths to cross until I told you why I hadn't said a word since Zoklet closed, although I knew you were watching. There's nothing here for you, you know why people still cling to this place and the reasons aren't good, although it also isn't of much importance.
4. 2015-09-18 at 12:21 PM UTC in Rocklin killed himself (Proof inside)
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   It should have been expected that someone would call "fake and gay", possibly even mention that they had seen him do that before. This was a pretty low effort and quality troll, though, so its death isn't much of a loss.
5. 2015-09-18 at 11:35 AM UTC in Rocklin killed himself (Proof inside)
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   But...you just eliminated any plausible deniability by admitting it was a troll. V_V
6. 2015-09-18 at 10:04 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   How is being in detox or a half way house on the streets? I've said this before, but there is an enormous, on average, chasm in the fundamental grasp of logic and reasoning, in thinking styles, between men and women. Of course politically correct thought crime liberal pansies that are too afraid to even think of anything that could offend their comrades will deny this till they're blue in the face, although they've never actually tried looking for information on this that doesn't tell them what they want to hear, and this should be completely unsurprising.
   
   Just look at the ratios of some of the largest components of the brain!
   
   http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0121100142.htm
   
   

   In general, men have approximately 6.5 times the amount of gray matter related to general intelligence than women, and women have nearly 10 times the amount of white matter related to intelligence than men. Gray matter represents information processing centers in the brain, and white matter represents the networking of – or connections between – these processing centers.
   
   This, according to Rex Jung, a UNM neuropsychologist and co-author of the study, may help to explain why men tend to excel in tasks requiring more local processing (like mathematics), while women tend to excel at integrating and assimilating information from distributed gray-matter regions in the brain, such as required for language facility.

   
   

   The study also identified regional differences with intelligence. For example, 84 percent of gray-matter regions and 86 percent of white-matter regions involved with intellectual performance in women were found in the brain’s frontal lobes, compared to 45 percent and zero percent for males, respectively.
   
   The gray matter driving male intellectual performance is distributed throughout more of the brain.

   
   Why do women have such a disproportionate amount of brain matter in the region of the frontal lobes?
   
   

   The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that controls important cognitive skills in humans, such as emotional expression

   
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe
   

   the override and suppression of socially unacceptable responses
   
   The frontal lobe also plays an important part in retaining longer term memories which are not task-based. These are often memories associated with emotions derived from input from the brain's limbic system. The frontal lobe modifies those emotions to generally fit socially acceptable norms.

   
   When dealing with a topic as emotionally charged as family, her own mother, logical arguments just aren't going to get through to her, and her behavior so far has demonstrated this. Even if she agrees with you and understands your train of thought, your perception, momentarily she'll be overwhelmed by emotions and revert back to her old patterns of behavior. You have to approach it from another angle.
   
   I've mentioned this before, and I've worked out the math and it may actually be affordable to pay for this out of pocket. Although getting her a prescription shouldn't be too hard since it's not really considered abusable, isn't scheduled, isn't a precursor, and doesn't come with much liability, it's not a suitable substance to poison someone with, doesn't have a significant risk of overdose or particularly serious health consequences from an (accidentally) excessive dose, or risk of addiction, and tapering off shouldn't be a problem if managed properly, but even with a prescription you may need a higher dose than they're willing to prescribe.
   
   If you read about it, this is the real deal, the most promising treatment for alcoholism and some other addictions currently available, although it's not well known. Among that those that are familiar with it, there are major proponents because they understand how effective it is. It genuinely seems to greatly reduce and even eliminate the desire to drink in long term serious alcoholics at high doses, along with changing the response to alcohol, so even if they have a drink it won't lead to relapse.
   
   http://www.google.com/search?q=baclo...+OR+alcoholism
   
   http://brandmedicines.com/index.php?...oducts_id=1493
   
   Seriously the best option if you can't get rid of her and can't convince your girlfriend of other options and don't want to leave her yet. It works fast. A lot cheaper than a motel. especially if you can manage to split the cost. It doesn't make you feel bad, quite the opposite, and it doesn't work like antabuse, it won't have side effects and zombify you or numb your emotions like SSRIs, you need to make this very clear, so there's no good reason why she shouldn't take it.
   
   If you're interested, read this and maybe show it to your girl too if you think she can get through it, it's a very good case series that will give you an idea of what to expect. Compare to what you're going through, this is very easy to actualy go through with and is worth the effort to save your relationship, along with the money and incredible stress it's causing you: http://journal.frontiersin.org/artic...014.00143/full
7. 2015-09-18 at 9:22 AM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged

   Once you take a hit of acid, you're in for the ride, there is no going back, the initial dose determines the effect and that is that

   
   That's not true, a benzo or related drug (etizolam) can quickly stop a trip with the right dose, or at least eliminate most of the anxiety and other negative aspects. It can also be heavily effected by state of mind, experience, and resistance, not just dose; Stanislav Grof detailed this, writing about one case in particular that occurred in a clinical setting where one patient repeatedly showed incredible resistance to a very high IM dose, experiencing almost no effects, he also explained the psychological factors he had found to correlate with this type of reaction, until multiple sessions broke down his resistance and he finally began to experience regression.
8. 2015-09-18 at 9:16 AM UTC in Hypothetical surefire ways to suicide
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   Helium bag, the materials are easy to get and it's painless and surefire if done right: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_bag
   
   I also recall a guide on suicide with choloform posted to the front page of RDFRN. IIRC it's supposed to be readily available, contrary to what you'd expect, and can be bought on ebay. You could use a similar method with a bag, in the guide he also wrote about simply taping a rag soaked it in over your mouth and nose, although this would be less reliable.
   
   CO can be another method similar to helium. For example, a small charcoal grill in a sealed tent. If done right you should pass out and drift to eternal sleep painlessly and unaware.
9. 2015-09-17 at 10:25 PM UTC in Mark311 is dead
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   Oh, you're alive. I was wondering whether you had committed suicide.
   
   Relevant to the topic of death and paths that lead to our demise, Lanny and I were just discussing finally trying heroin: http://niggasin.space/forum/half-baked/25491-i-m-half-way-into-the-6th-hour-of-a-conference-call-and-drunk-as-shit
10. 2015-09-17 at 10:22 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Oh, Lanny, we could get 2 grams of mediocre quality #3 Afghan for only $80 from Italy on Abraxas! FE doesn't seem to be required and the vendor seems to have a long history, many sales, and a good reputation.
    
    Now, I know you must be thinking, "It's too good to be true.", but even if it doesn't show we could stand to lose the money, and if it does, imagine the looks in our eyes, lighting up like children on a good Christmas. We could vaporize ourselves into nirvana. It would give us so much pleasure for the price, and last so long with our lack of tolerance and sporadic use (cross your fingers). We could finally know what true euphoria, inner peace, contentedness, and joy is, hear the siren song that has led so many famous figures to their doom, caused them to fight past hell to maintain their addiction, to get that next high, continue abating the pain of existential despair. If so many high ranking people, people with so much experience in the world and fulfilled lives, would abandon everything for it, imagine how good it must be.
    
    Damn, $40/g black tar straight from the source in Mexico, and he ships everywhere except the US. I bet I could convince him, ask him if he uses moisture barrier bags, talk businesses strategy and the enormous market and potential for growth. There are probably a ton of letters sent from Mexico to California and other border states, this could be made to slip by.
11. 2015-09-17 at 9:14 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I manipulate you into guine pigging things for me.
    
    Lanny, fuck it, let's just give in and buy heroin off the darknet. There are some surprisingly good deals. Do a grams search and look at the selection. We may as well stop wasting time with the lower levels and head straight for the top, the most elite experiences the world has to offer.
    
    If you're too much of a dandy to do it yourself, imagine the amusement of meeting up to have me drop off the beginning of your end. I could wear a burka to hide my identity.
12. 2015-09-17 at 8:33 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I doubt it's going to come through at this point. Agora is still down and I don't know if it will reopen. I lose what little interest I had in things so easily, it really doesn't matter, but I don't know if I care enough to try something else. Maybe an RC opioid, or whatever has the best mood enhancing/antidepressant effect.
13. 2015-09-17 at 8:11 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Living the life.
    
    You need opioids, then you'll be completed.
14. 2015-09-17 at 3:51 PM UTC in Mark311 is dead
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Do you have any thoughts on this? (actual super intelligent rats produced by researchers) http://niggasin.space/forum/better-living-through-chemistry/67-the-retarded-thread-fuck-§m£ÂgØL-made-one-first-edition?p=6571#post6571
    
    mmQ, this is you.
    
    
15. 2015-09-17 at 3:17 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged

    I used to do management consultancy, where we'd figure out how a company could optimize its human resources, and a big part of this was tracking what the employees did all day.
    
    Here's a thing, that was almost universally true for every company we saw: the average amount of useful work done by a person in one workday is two hours. Two fucking hours. It can rarely go up to a maximum of about six (at crunch time for programmers and so on), and on slow days/weeks it would be about 30 minutes.
    
    Now, these were white-collar office jobs, so I'm sure things are quite different for fast food workers or people who are literally monitored every second of the workday, but for office work, at least, the eight-hour workday is a joke. It's just that no one talks about this, and everyone just kind of thinks they're an exception and hopes no one will catch on to how little work they're actually doing, and how much time they're wasting with useless bullshit.

    
    I have a feeling that, sadly, this probably is close to the truth. What a dull hell this world is, it's like most people never get to leave school. Dropping out of society is another form of hell as well, despite being romanticized, I doubt it hardly ever works out well. Just look at rizzo, look at me and many other examples.
    
    
    
    I remember your posts about your previous job, Lanny. How is anyone supposed to look forward to a future where this is the realistic outcome? Feel driven to strive to the best of their ability? Unless you're dumb/naive enough to fall for the idea of the college experience and changing the world.
    
    Quick, tell me where the exit is, this building is on fire and I can't find it.
16. 2015-09-17 at 3:03 PM UTC in Mark311 is dead
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I've never seen rats here or any sign of them, and there's no feasible way for them to get in.
    
    I won't even have that...
    
    But what good will it do when we're both dead? Some comfort that will be.
17. 2015-09-17 at 2:12 PM UTC in Mark311 is dead
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    I really hope mmQ is next, I'm tired of his contagious depression and it's probably best if he's put out of his misery soon. Let's be honest, it's going to happen eventually, he's never going to get better, why give him false hope and prolong his suffering?
18. 2015-09-17 at 1:29 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Woah, dextro-2-FMA.
    
    https://www.reddit.com/r/RCSources/c...d2fma_success/
    
    https://www.reddit.com/r/RCSources/c..._d2fma_on_the/
    
    https://www.reddit.com/r/researchche..._and_thoughts/
    
    More expensive, as should be expected due to loss from separation, but it's partly offset by greater potency. 2-FMA's effects on NE and the PNS were already relatively mild to begin with, the d isomer seems to perfect it. Lower duration, less effects on NE and the PNS, which effects heart rate and sleep, even smoother and better dopaminergic stimulation.
    
    @Lanny, you have that tech bro money. Don't be stingey, be a dear and review this for us. You should be trying a wide variety of drugs to accelerate your descent into total debauchery and moral depravity.
19. 2015-09-17 at 1:07 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Christ, elections are already bad enough, can you imagine how much worse it will be if barriers to entry are made even lower with automatic registration, mandatory voting, absentee/mail in voting, or online voting? The simplistic analysis is that it will significantly increase support for leftist/populist candidates and policies, they wouldn't support it otherwise, and of course no question over whether the lowest quality marginal voters being more likely to support them is a positive sign, but they fail tot take into account candidate and policy quality, simply seeing one broad category that gains. Just look at Latin America for the outcome leftism/populism can have, as if they aren't capable of being corrupt.
    
    Fortunately I realized early on what a complete joke this all is and waste very little time on this nonsense, I don't fool myself about it being much more than entertainment. People who are enthusiastic Democrats or Republicans and believe either line of ideology will save nations are sad cases. The reason this came to mind was Trump and the possible reasons for his popularity. It makes me wonder whether we could eventually see Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus style strategies in politics: http://www.businessinsider.com/cute-to-edgy-rebranding-lessons-from-miley-cyrus-and-justin-bieber-2013-10
20. 2015-09-17 at 12:20 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    It's a difficult question to answer, like asking a drug addict/alcoholic or homeless person how they ended up that way. Generally it wasn't a single event, but predispositions, a general self-destructive pattern, force, throughout life. Realistically, it's likely been about 15 years since things generally began eroding.
    
    I really don't feel well anymore. You know the feeling when your body is generally unhealthy, due to illness or the culmination of an extremely poor lifestyle, going through opioid withdrawals after a binge that's spiraled out of control? Imagine if that feeling was contained within your brain, which would also effect the rest of your body, but to a lower extent, more of a complete lack of energy and avolition, a a greatly reduced ability to use one's will power, leaving you feeling weak and sickly elsewhere, unable to use any strength or endurance. A feeling that never subsides and remains constant day after day.