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Posts by Malice
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2015-09-20 at 10:22 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionImagine selling your body to a rich person in exchange for having your head cryogenically frozen. Basically you'd be payed to have everything perfectly set up, yourself euthanized properly right there, whatever the best method would be to transition from being alive in the hospital to your head severed and body ready to be transplanted, then the procedure would be done on your head, which is kept cool to prevent/reduce damage done to the brain. Only problem is that, IIRC, they replace the blood with a cryoprotectant solution and I'm not sure if this could be done properly with the head already severed. I mean, even if there is a good work around, it isn't standard procedure and may not be readily available, they may not have the equipment needed on hand. Although plastination may eventually become a superior alternative that could supplant it, but it seems they would still need to perform a perfusion procedure: https://www.fightaging.org/archives/2012/09/a-couple-of-articles-on-plastination.php
Then again, you're still faced with the question of the nature of consciousness, the problem of continuity. During the period you cease to be conscious, to exist, are you afraid or suffering? What difference would it really make if you were never revived? In the same line of thought, what would there really be to fear if you never woke up the next time you fell asleep? People will generally bring up fears about how it would hurt others, people that depend on them, things they still want to do/experience, but it doesn't really answer the question. -
2015-09-20 at 9:45 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
I have literally nothing to do this evening so I guess I am going to bid 1$ over the other contestants' shitposts
Feeling bored? Post, you motherfuckers, and keep me company. I'll read and understand every word of your posts, see your worldview and sometimes understand you better than you understand yourself, offer you hermit sage advice. -
2015-09-20 at 9:44 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Have you dealt with cats before, malice? I don't want to seem like I am being condescending, but I am just going to proceed as if you don't know anything about cats, that way I don't have to wait for a response and I can just get my advice out there on paper and be done with it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_mind
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledge
It's really incredible and terrible how small minded and unknowledgeable the vast majority of people are. Decades and such important concepts, thoughts, seem to have never crossed their mind once. There are so many problems with life and other people...
Just a larger train of thought related to this. You don't know what others do or don't know, and it's good to be as detailed and clear as possible, particularly the less room for/more costly errors can be. I don't assume others are assuming I'm ignorant or being condescending, although with how readily most seem to make assumptions it only primes people even more toward being defensive about this.
As for poppies, I found 2 grams of mediocre quality #3 Afghan for only $80 from Italy on Abraxas. FE doesn't seem to be required and the vendor seems to have a long history, many sales, and a good reputation. May give this a try, wouldn't be much of a loss, and think of how your eyes would light up if it made it through and you managed to get such an amazing deal. It would be a lot cheaper than poppy tea, given the relative potency and doses, tolerance an addiction aside, although that's an issue with poppy tea as well anyway.Oh and whileIm at it, youre right about everything, go ahead and get the "I-told-you-so" confetti out. My life is so incredibly fucked atm.
I don't have any desire to, I didn't want to be right, for things to turn out this way, it doesn't bring me any joy. I often desperately wish people would prove me wrong, that everything wasn't so predictable, that the world didn't make so much sense, but the world is the way it is, entirely inadequate. -
2015-09-20 at 7:03 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionAargh, omg, super cute kitten I want to make friends with. Why must cats be so mobile and skittish, aloof and hard to track down? I've seen it a few times in the area in front and just saw it. I heard something by my door that sounded odd (unnaturally high level of awareness, the radius I'm particularly aware of, where it's impossible to sneak up on me, is unusually large and I receive much more sensory information), like a dog or person crouching by it (It's happened before with the neighbor kids peeking through my screen door.) so I silently got up to look behind the partially open inner door and it was playing with/scratching my doormat.
Not sure what breed it is, but it's waaay cuter than average, and kittens are generally already pretty cute to begin with. It's really a beautiful cat, I'd love to know what its breed or ancestry is if it's mixed. I wish there was a whistle you could blow to make them come to you, damn cats, stop running away!
It's very distinct looking, I don't think I've seen a cat like it before. I'll definitely get a picture if I can. I should definitely buy some good dry treats with an odor that will draw it and leave them on my doormat. I think it may be a siamese mix or snowshoe, and its fur pattern is perfectly kawaii. -
2015-09-20 at 5:51 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionDaily news you can use.
http://nypost.com/2015/09/19/how-ahmeds-clock-became-a-false-convenient-tale-of-racism/
Fucking leftists, this actually sounded like a reasonable accusation of racism or at least paranoia gone overboard, but that actually does look suspicious as fuck. And he didn't even build it, at least not in the way that most would assume, in line with the impression that the media gave, he just took out the parts and used the suitcase as the new housing. "What are the odds it was actually a bomb?" Pretty low, but things are the way they are and this seems perfectly in line with expected responses. And as they detailed, there have been many other cases where students have faced similar situations for ridiculous reasons, and there were no accusations of racism. And race/ethnicity should be relevant factor, the reality is that terrorists, on a per capita basis, are disproportionately likely to be Muslims "How many incidences of teenagers/children committing terrorism have there been in first world countries?" I don't know, very little, most likely, possibly none in the US, but that still doesn't change the reality of odds ratios and rational behind profiling. Don't misunderstand, I certainly don't support the changes that have occurred since Columbine and 9/11, I just don't think the leftist narrative of (unwarranted) racial bias stands up to scrutiny in general, or at the very least that the properly calculated effect size is far far smaller than they would like to believe.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/09/150916162912.htm
New research on attractiveness and mating
What people find 'desirable' and 'essential' in a long-term partner[FONT=Helvetica Neue][SIZE=14px]Gender Differences: Specifically, the study revealed that men and women differed in the percentage indicating:[/SIZE][/FONT]
- it was 'desirable/essential' that their potential partner was good-looking (M 92 percent vs. W 84 percent),
- had a slender body (M 80 percent vs. W 58 percent),
- had a steady income (M 74 percent vs. W 97 percent),
- and made/will make a lot of money (M 47 percent vs. W 69 percent).
Men care more about looks, women care a helluva lot more about money.Income: People with higher incomes had stronger preferences for partners who are good looking – and this was true for both men and women. Men with higher incomes showed stronger preferences for women with slender bodies. Wealthier women had stronger preferences for men who had a steady income or made lots of money.
Wealthier men care even more about/are more selective for looks, wealthier women care even more about money. Take the Red Pill and accept the truth. -
2015-09-20 at 4:21 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Good to see im not missing a thing by not posting or coming here anymore
I highly recommend you try this: http://niggasin.space/forum/better-living-through-chemistry/67-the-retarded-thread-fuck-§m£ÂgØL-made-one-first-edition?p=26118#post26118
Don't be pessimistic, this isn't like T-PAIN, which is pretty good for what it is, this is some next level shit. Reminds you of (es)ketamine, doesn't it? Remember how well that worked at first compared to other things. Shit, I wonder what it would be like if you combined them. Imagine that. The MOAs are different and I don't think they would interfere with each other, so the effects should at least be cumulative. The combination should be synergistic, just look at the pharmacology and think about how they would complement each other, I'm curios about just how synergistic it might be. I would use ketamine first, followed by 7,8-DHF after the effects have worn off.
Will you try it, PoC, for old time's sake? Hopelessness, apathy, believing you deserve to suffer, refusing help offered because you want to spite the person offering it; I worry you might avoid the things I recommend due to self-destructive reasons.
Seriously, imagine if it was at least twice as effective/good as esketamine was at first, even 3 times, and the nice thing with 7,8-DHF is that the improvements will continue with time. Come on PoC, do it for Adolf Hitler. -
2015-09-20 at 3:22 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionGuh, had a disturbing short nightmare right before I woke up from a few hour nap. I can't remember what I saw, but I think it may have had to do with the breakdown of reality, like if you were having a really bad powerful trip or losing your mind, and there may have been the feeling in the dream that made it feel like I was perceiving it as if I was awake and it was really happening, which is pretty common in dreams, as opposed to the also common feeling of detachment, like you're simply a spectator. Then there's also the issue of "dream logic", not sure if that was an element and there was something more to it, I think I vaguely remember something related to the basic concepts of good and bad, or a "mirror" that preceded the experience.
Reminds me of McKenna and other people who have reported that if you take a hit of DMT in a dream you may have the actual experience, not a dream of what it's like, it's far too far from standard dreams, but an actual DMT experience while you're asleep and dreaming. I had been thinking about the sub-breakthrough visuals beforehand. It's possible an endogenous release can be triggered, or this could have been a standard nightmare. Pretty freaky. -
2015-09-20 at 3:12 AM UTC in A question for malice concerning ratsI believe I am.
I began to realize a long time ago that I don't like living things in general anymore, but before that, I remember the guinea pigs I had had been developing a sickness that would kill them in a day. It was like the symptoms of a strong cold, and they would become stiff. They never survived and I cried as I held them in my arms. I spent so much time thinking, thinking about the nature of people and relationships, I can't remember what all my thoughts were. I think I saw emotions and connections with others as a weakness and decided to close myself off, and I did, I hardened my heart and entombed it. It worked all too well, I closed myself off from the pain, but the sense of detachment took away the joy, the warmth, I had felt from raising them as well. It's would thing to be able to endure, to strengthen yourself and be able to ward off pain, it's another to not be able to feel even if you desperately want to. I didn't realize the mistake I had made until it was far too late, so many years later. Humans weren't meant to be alone. -
2015-09-19 at 9:19 PM UTC in Fedoras: Or how I learned to start worrying and became a self-loathing STEM fagIt's fixed. Arigato, kohai. *pats head*
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2015-09-19 at 8:35 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionEverything causes cancer. The studies usually use insane dosages in rats, and the dose makes the poison. Pretty sure it's safe at the dosages used, especially if used sublingually. I don't think they would even allow human studies if it was a serious carcinogen at the doses used.
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2015-09-19 at 8:15 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionName those members.
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2015-09-19 at 7:59 PM UTC in A question for malice concerning rats"With the aforementioned in mind I would ask you this in regard to the possibility heavy breathing rats of of normal intelligence."
What?
"And I am just asking do you possess any level of empathy. Because if you do not regardless of the intelligence level of any rat that you think you may want to raise you will never experience that intelligence. I await your sincere response."
Experience what intelligence?
Are you having an off day or on something, or are you messing with me? Your writing seems pretty off. Not sure if you're old enough to be getting senile. Or...this could be a test and you expect me to decipher that, which I will not attempt because it's too vague. -
2015-09-19 at 7:36 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionhttp://questioning-answers.blogspot.com/2014/06/more-suramin-and-autism-mouse-findings.html
http://questioning-answers.blogspot.com/2013/03/autism-maternal-immune-activation-suramin.html
http://questioning-answers.blogspot.com/2013/03/epigenetics-en-2-and-autism-brain.html
Jesus christ, autism is so fucking complex and multifaceted. Same with schizophrenia, but possibly to a lower extent. So many aspects to treat. I'm not sure if it's possible for there to one day be a single pill you could take to treat everything, or at least all major symptoms. Some common origin, a unified theory, would be a godsend, especially if you could still reverse it by adulthood. Imagine how horrible it would be to be in a position where you were desperately attempting to treat this so you could function and possibly, hopefully, finally learn how it's supposed to feel to be a real human being. Oh, that's me. Look at me, aren't I sad? :'<
"List of ways your brain is abnormal/fucked up."
That's what I want, a brain scan and analysis. Well, in a more optimistic light, you take some 4-FA or MDMA for that serotonin boost, stimulation, empathogenic quality, pyrazolam for anxiolysis without side effects, or etizolam or another benzo if you're okay with them and the lack of sustainability, some memantine for sensory overload/excessive glutamate, maybe even some good cannabinoids for sociability. That probably gets you as close as an acute treatment can currently get you. No, that probably isn't sustainable and still leaves you as a sort of patchwork Frankenstein, imitation human being. -
2015-09-19 at 6:28 PM UTC in Fedoras: Or how I learned to start worrying and became a self-loathing STEM fagI can't see my PMs or create threads and haven't been able to for hours. Fix it fix it fix iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt now!!! *bangs on desk in alternating rapid succession*
BTW, what's in your system? Just curious if you generally only write like this while stimmed up. -
2015-09-19 at 6:19 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI'll post as many times in a row as I want.
Post-Session Administration of USP Methylene Blue Facilitates the Retention of Pathological Fear Extinction and Contextual Memory in Phobic Adults
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4467026/Results
Consistent with predictions, participants displaying low end fear at post-training showed significantly less fear at follow-up if they received methylene blue post-training relative to placebo. In contrast, participants displaying moderate to high levels of post-training fear tended to fare worse at follow-up relative to placebo. Methylene blue's enhancement of contextual memory was unrelated to initial or post-training claustrophobic fear.
Conclusions
Methylene blue enhances memory and the retention of fear extinction when administered after a successful exposure session, but may have a deleterious effect on extinction when administered after an unsuccessful exposure session.
Memory modulation, fully possible now. It's an interesting thing to think about, the therapeutic potential, potential as a technique for various forms of self-improvement. Administer something to prevent/reduce memory formation after a negative experience, something to augment it after a positive one. Great theme for a dystopian science fiction novel. Dystopian only because it's more entertaining and the masses generally aren't capable or willing to see that it's in fact more likely to push things toward utopia, accept unabashed augmentation -
2015-09-19 at 5:35 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionOh snap, this: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/...eally_want_to/
Lead me to this, 7,8-Dihydroxyflavone/DHF, and it's cheap! One of the most potent and promising antidepressants currently available. Only reason I hadn't used it is because I couldn't find a good supplier, THT.co had closed and they were the only sellers of a few items I wanted to try, then when they reopened they increased their prices to small purchasers many fold. You can some really interesting and positive reports from people who've tried it. Highly recommend it for anyone who could benefit from it. The price is so low it's well worth trying given the potential, not much downside. If you can't spare a measly $20 or work up the effort to order it it's almost guaranteed that it's because you're irresponsible, lazy, and apathetic. Stop wasting money on things you don't actually need (Don't start bitching, your fucked up priorities got you here.) and save your pennies.
Cure depression in 3-4 days
http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic...-4-days-study/
http://examine.com/supplements/7,8-dihydroxyflavone/
Combining it with forskolin (cheap and readily available) may prevent tolerance/TrkB downregulation. It should also be used sublingually or intranasally because oral bioavailability it very low.
Here: http://www.bluebrainboost.com/p/buy-...ne-supplement/
May pick up their CBD as well if I don't find a superior product (doubtful considering the problems that have been found with the majority of CBD products being sold): http://www.bluebrainboost.com/p/Cannabidiol/ -
2015-09-19 at 4:38 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition"That action could not be completed. Please try again, and if this occurs again please contact the system administrator and tell them how you got this message."
Goddamn you Lanny, you mentally deficient incompetent indolent little twink. You're ruining everything. -
2015-09-18 at 10:36 PM UTC in "Welcome to Zoklet!"Definitely is, I remember it.
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2015-09-18 at 6:48 PM UTC in I'm half way into the 6th hour of a conference call and drunk as shit
I would have liked to see some of the subjects physiological responses to the high doses, I am not convinced by simply relying on his subjective self-reporting.
Ah, he mentioned that right before this:
The search for the typical, mandatory pharmacological effects of LSD was an important aspect of my analytical work on the LSD data. The result of this quest was rather surprising; after analyzing over thirty-eight hundred records from LSD sessions, I have not found a single symptom that would be an absolutely constant component in all of them and could thus be considered truly invariant. Changes of optical perception are usually presented as a typical manifestation of the LSD state and thus were a serious candidate for pharmacological invariants. Although they occurred rather frequently in our records, there were a number of high-dose sessions where alterations in the optical realm were not present at all even though, in some of these sessions, the dosage amounted to 500 micrograms. Several of the LSD reactions without any visual phenomena had the form of intense sexual experiences; others were characterized by massive somatization manifested in various parts of the body, by feelings of general malaise and physical illness, or by experiences of excruciating pain. Special examples of sessions without optical perceptual changes were observed in advanced stages of psycholytic treatment and in some psychedelic sessions. These involved either a brutal and primitive biological experiential complex described by various subjects as reliving of their own birth or transcendental experiences with a paradoxical quality of being “contentless yet all-containing.â€
Physical manifestations of the LSD state deserve special notice in this context, since, in the early reports, they were considered simple pharmacological effects and a result of direct chemical activation of the vegetative centers in the brain. Careful observations of a large number of sessions and analysis of the records did not support this explanation. The spectrum of the so-called vegetative symptoms is very broad and exceeds that of any known drug with the exception of some other psychedelics. Strangely enough, these symptoms include both sympathetic and parasympathetic phenomena, and they appear in clusters involving various combinations thereof. The physical concomitants of the LSD reaction vary considerably from session to session. They are practically independent of the dosage used, and there is no demonstrable dose-effect relationship. In many high-dose LSD sessions, physical manifestations were entirely absent, or they occurred intermittently and in close association with difficult and strongly defended unconscious material. Another aspect of these symptoms that could be mentioned here is their unusual sensitivity to various psychological factors; they can often be modified or even terminated by various external influences and specific psychotherapeutic interventions.
One of the physical manifestations of the LSD reaction deserves special emphasis—namely, dilation of the pupils (mydriasis). It is so common that its presence has been used by many experimenters and therapists as a reliable indicator that the person is still under the influence of the drug. For a long time, mydriasis was also a serious candidate for an invariant manifestation of the LSD effect in my investigations. Later, I witnessed several LSD sessions, some of them very dramatic, in which the pupils of the subject appeared constricted, or in which they oscillated rapidly between extreme dilation and constriction. A situation similar to that of the vegetative symptoms existed in the area of gross physical manifestations, such as muscular tonus, tremors, twitches, seizure-like activities, and various twisting movements. None of these symptoms was standard and predictable enough to be considered a specific pharmacological effect of LSD. This does not mean that LSD per se does not have any specific physiological effects; these can be clearly demonstrated in animal experiments, which use incomparably higher dosages. My experience, however, indicates that, within the range of doses commonly used in human experiments or in psychotherapeutic practice, physical manifestations are not the result of a direct pharmacological stimulation of the central nervous system. They seem to reflect chemical activation of psychodynamic matrices in the unconscious and have a structure similar to those of hysterical conversions, organ-neurotic phenomena, or symptoms of psychosomatic disorders. -
2015-09-18 at 6:44 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionWhere's the heartfelt reunion?
I actually did get around to ordering opium, although I don't think it will show up by now and Agora is still closed. Do you ever think the things you order are going to make a significant difference in your life? Drugs are more likely to do so due to their nature, but I don't delude myself and always know how things will end. I could drag on about why I'm as dysfunctional as I am, but I think you may be able to understand what drives putting off even relatively minor things for months, quickly losing interest in things, being discouraged, if the emotion could even be there, and losing any small momentum. There are very few things I know could realistically make a difference, and even then the feeling of hope, of excitement, looking forward to them, just isn't there due to the state I'm in. The same is true for you.
Relevant to the above, read my comments here: http://niggasin.space/forum/half-baked/25491-i-m-half-way-into-the-6th-hour-of-a-conference-call-and-drunk-as-shit#post25913
You could help us out and mail us some of that sweet black tar. I know you've done it before, and I remember that you either never or rarely succeeded. Did you use moisture barrier bags and make sure there was not a trace of residue on the outside? Vacuum sealing and other techniques, like placing it inside candles, peanut butter, coffee etc. are for noobs and don't work properly. This has been the standard top quality technique for darknet vendors for a while. It's okay, we're cool here, this place is so low key no one's watching it.
You could help us treat our depression, general and social anxiety, and anhedonia, and Lanny's, ah, pain that comes from accepting he's just going to be another generic yuppie, lost in life and unfulfilled, the last two of which also apply to myself.
Seriously Casper, you know if anyone can handle it it's me. It could at least put me in a position where I could work towards a more sustainable alternative. And there actually are methods to make long-term opioid use far more sustainable, which you should have been using.
http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/62247-reversing-opioid-tolerance/
http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/79731-is-opiate-tolerance-permanent/
Proglumide and ULDN, ultra low dose naltrexone. Do you remember that thread on Zoklet where I posted what was essentially a gut only version of naloxone/naltrexone? Did you ever buy it? Of course not, you pathetic pansy. You waste money like a retired playboy on things you barely, if ever use, and fleeting pleasures you can barely feel, then you complain about your fucked up hick truck and not being able to afford medical insurance, living in a hoarders room with your mother, all while having one of the most absurd expenditures on an addiction you can find. You were already doing insane amounts of heroin, had multiple health problems due largely to your own actions, and then you go on a generic option to wean off, methadone, that isn't even particularly effective or safe, and you whine about not wanting to try my recommendations because you don't want to be a "guinea pig".
*slaps you upside the head* The hell's wrong with you? Forget PoC, I want to be the abusive father that was never there for you. Even I, in my pitiful state, can manage to avoid unnecessary spending and save money for things of importance, try some cutting edge treatments before completely falling apart.
Ah, feeling so tired, tired to your soul, weary of life and apathetic, that you can't even communicate like you used to, one of the most basic human actions. Read things of considerable length, write a few pages. And what does that do? Your basic ability to help yourself and ask others for help, reach out to people for information and favors when it would so much to just have someone striving along with you on the same path to recovery, finally digging yourself out of this hell, this slow unrelenting death, and making something of yourself.
Remember how during our last months on Zoklet you noticed that we would arrive at the exact same conclusions, write the exact same things we would have told other people, had the same ideas, thought processes? Why is that? It's because there are paths few can see, ideas most haven't considered and can't grasp. The things you've experienced, read and thought, how your mind has been molded, how you've developed it yourself. The fundamental mental architecture of logic and reasoning. A simple definition for general intelligence can be the ability to deal with complexity. You've mentioned you have, or had, an unusually good memory, although not to the extent of my autistic rain man/perfect recall level, this also helps, because you need knowledge, specific data, as well as processing power. You see the best, optimal, path to victory. The solutions.
You know how rare it is to find someone like you, that can really understand you, is IRL. How wonderful would it be to have someone you could talk to about anything, who would understand and be able to follow anything you brought up without a problem? You could share your ideas, plans, hopes and dreams, have feedback from each other, help each other develop.
Think about this. If you were to be completely honest about two things, what percentage of people do you think would automatically be driven away?
1.) I use _ grams of heroin a day, spend $ X a month on my habit.
2.) I sell _ ("antiques") for a living.
Even if they weren't flat out driven away, how would it change how they felt about you? Imagine a room full of hundreds of people, representative of the general population, all their eyes are on you. Would they want their sons and daughters to be friends with you? Daughters to love you? How much of a monster would they have to see you as to not even feel safe having their young children around you?
You can tell yourself it shouldn't matter, but that doesn't change that to them it does. Rationalize hiding it, but if it were ever revealed, even after years of developing a relationship, everything you'd built together, how many would leave you over it? It may not seem significant to you, you may think it shouldn't matter, that it doesn't define you, but clearly to them it does. Now tell me: What does that say about them?
But here, this isn't simply a family style intervention where we tell you we'll always love you, can accept any part of you, no matter what. Generic lines that are to expected. Look into my eyes Casper. We're the same. You know that I look down on you for it, that I don't view it as others do, and that's because I don't have to try, I don't have to force myself away from a natural reaction, this is simply the way I genuinely see things, I see things the way they are. I have no respect for laws and governments, no concern for the simplistic morality of the masses, the logical fallacies and cognitive biases, the emotionalism, that pervade the very structure of who they are. And you know it's true because of everything I said (named "realest nigga here" by Bipolar High Roller/LLL/1337), what I've done and am willing to do. I would smoke heroin right alongside with you, smuggle kilos, rob an armored van, even kill.
How wonderful would it be to have a friend and stop feeling so alone and lost in the world?