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Posts by Malice
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2015-09-22 at 8:46 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionhttps://blog.purse.io/purse-featured-in-11-amazing-new-apps-gadgets-startups-you-need-by-listhunt/
We are driving mainstream adoption through 20% discounts on everything on Amazon!
A 20% discount on amazon is pretty sweet. Saw it here, I don't follow Bitcoin news or r/Bitcoin: https://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/comments/3lxdz7/circlepay_purse_is_the_first_killer_app_that_is/ -
2015-09-22 at 8:36 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionhttp://blog.circle.com/2015/09/22/us-dollar-payments-free-debit-cards-circle-app-updates/
I understand that converting to US dollars is considered a taxable event. Today we took another step toward realizing that goal. Now in the United States, you can send, receive, and hold US dollars in addition to using bitcoin for payments within the Circle app.
You can enjoy the benefits of Bitcoin without ever holding or buying bitcoin yourself, and without being exposed to bitcoin price volatility. Even if you prefer to hold US dollars in your Circle account, you gain security, speed, and open interoperability with bitcoin wallets and services around the globe. You can hold US dollars but still send someone bitcoin, and likewise someone can send you bitcoin and Circle can instantly turn it into US dollars in your account.
Not sure if this means you'll be able to prefund your account with dollars and then be able to buy bitcoin instantly without worrying about volatility until the transaction is no longer pending, if you're not approved for instant BTC purchases, but I hope so. I remember wondering and asking why you couldn't do this with other services from the start, but I could see problems caused by them having to hold currency, and the additional regulations could be a nightmare.Circle provides a way to exchange your entire balance for dollars. Same security, same functionality, but now zero price fluctuation. No matter what currency you're holding, you can always pay and receive dollars and bitcoin.
Just signed in and it gave me the option to convert to using dollars. Seems this is the case.I understand that converting to US dollars is considered a taxable event.
Ah, taxes! Spooked me, but it's a good thing my balance is zero. Definitely need to read about any potential legal implications, whether it could change reporting requirements to the government/IRS. Definitely don't want them tracking my BTC purchases, not due to paranoia about being put on a "list", although with the NSA revelations this actually is something that should be on your radar, particular for certain people, those/involved in illicit activities/who don't want attention/suspicion drawn on them. I could see them having profiles and large amounts of BTC purchases, "suspicious" (however they determine this) purchasing patterns, raising your risk level. To be clear this is really a very minor concern, it's similar to the train of thought for dealing with the concern of a dealer trying to sell you weed being an undercover, they just have so much to be aware of, people and things far far more important than you, that it's extremely unlikely they're monitoring you and have any concern for you.
No, what I'm mainly concerned about is any IRS dickery.Debit cards are now free and instant. If you fund your account with a debit card, you receive the money immediately, and Circle charges no fees. Note that credit cards are also instant, but the networks do charge a fee for credit cards. You can also still link your bank account, which is free of charge, but it may take a few days for your bank to complete a transfer. So debit card usage is recommended.
Higher limits for cashing in, spending, and cashing out. Most customers will start with a $300 USD weekly limit and have the opportunity to graduate to $3,000. These limits are much higher than our previous levels!
Aww yeaaaah! Sign up now if you haven't already. It was surprisingly fast and easy when I signed up, ridiculously/way way easier compared to Coinbase. Warning though: There's been talk, and this doesn't seem to just be baseless speculation/paranoia, of people haven't their accounts closed after sending directly to a Darknet market. Use Dark Wallet (seems pretty cool, wrote about it a while ago) or another option, like a coin mixing service.
Lanny, what have you used/been using to purchase Bitcoin? -
2015-09-22 at 7:24 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
How much memantine are you taking these days?
Same as before, 25mg. Can't seem to go past this point without side effects, feeling pretty off, even if I increase the dosage very slowly. -
2015-09-22 at 6:02 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
The first time I totally lost any sense of time I wasn't ready for it, it got pretty dark, I couldn't really see anything because the hallucination was a more powerful visual signal of what I was looking at. I saw a pyramid made of bones, a kind of abstract pattern that looks like it looks when you press your hand too hard against a plasma monitor (very distinct though, not just any pattern), and teeth, molars, of a child I think. Those three things have been a recurrent theme in every deep trip I've had since. I'm not some new age pussy of course but I'm thinking they tie into a repressed memory somehow, there's definitely a sensation of childhood. In all my memories before being 7 or so the dominant component is confusion, I just remember being confused a lot, and that same kind of confusion is what marks these three themes. In that first super-intense trip I tried to bear with it for a while but ended up freaking out and thought I was dying or something so I took some etizolam to bring it down. I kinda regret doing that because I feel like there was something there I could have figured out if I had stuck with it.
Cool, regression to childhood memories and reliving experiences from that period, often those that have been suppressed or never thought of before/for a long time, is something Grof writes about a lot. Even if certain memories aren't fully suppressed, you could still relive/revisit them in much more detail, remember things you didn't before. You should definitely revisit this and try to stick with it the next time you do a high level trip, it could be fascinating to see what you discover, or terrifying, but still potentially very valuable. -
2015-09-22 at 5:55 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
That's genius, I'm going to suggest it now. I'm already doing the manipulation bit by pretending I want to help her when really it's just amusing me.
Ah, I overlooked this, but if she feels she's a gay man trapped in a woman's body it'll probably work better if you pretend to be gay yourself. Since she's being open with you about this you can use it as an opening to talk to her about how you've been questioning your own sexuality, or even flat out coming to terms with being gay, and make up a story for this, how you've come to realize you are or might be gay, past events/experiences in your life. Maybe you could even try to blame your breakup on this, you didn't realize it at the time but deep down the reason was because you really wanted a man to love. Then eventually you could confess to her that if she was a man you think she might be perfect for you/you might be willing to try a relationship again, and that this feels like a sign. Then suggest she practices dressing and role playing as a man while she's at your place, that way you can learn what it might be like to be in a relationship with a man, and she can learn as well, but as a gay transgendered man instead of woman. Then, of course, pretend gay buttsex.
Got a nice anti-anhedonic memantine sweet spot effect and this scenario is funny as fuck. This will be legendary if you pull it off. -
2015-09-22 at 2:15 AM UTC in Chronic depression due to being held back 3 timesI wonder how much money gay camwhores make.
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2015-09-22 at 1:59 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI think that may only happen when you've been downvoted too much on that subreddit. They may have other algorithms or enhancements that effect this that I'm not aware of.
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2015-09-22 at 1:45 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionI love the level of degeneracy and amorality here. That we can discuss it and know it isn't meant to be satirical or a form of shock comedy, but that we actually want to go through with this, is very nice, and highly amusing.
God I hope you succeed. I'm chuckling at the thought of you actually doing this. -
2015-09-22 at 12:06 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionHere's another idea: Even if she says she still feels like she likes men, convince her to explore her sexuality and experiment with flirting with women while dressed as a man. Tell her many people don't realize they're gay until later in life or until they actually try it. Then somehow convince her to let you watch, and work that into a threesome once they're hot and bothered, or you could at least whip it out and start jerking off and they probably wouldn't stop you. Or you could just plant a hidden camera or hide in the closet when you know when and where they're going to do it. If she isn't ready or doesn't want to come out to her parents, she thinks/knows they won't approve, offer to let her use your place for privacy and tell her you'll go out somewhere for a few hours when she needs to use it. This will make it so much easier.
You'll have the opportunity many dream of but few actually get. Think about, how many people do you think actually get a golden opportunity like this, fake internet stories aside? It's like winning the lottery. -
2015-09-21 at 11:13 PM UTC in Chronic depression due to being held back 3 timesHigh school is a complete joke. The people are still generally stupid, unknowledgeable, and undeveloped. They're a bunch of fucking teenagers, how great do you expect them to be?
College is also a joke, unless you're mediocre like the vast majority of people there and buy into the experience, but at least it will be better for giving you what you want, fun experiences, a better possibility of finding people you identify with.
As for your depression, try this: http://niggasin.space/forum/better-living-through-chemistry/67-the-retarded-thread-fuck-§m£ÂgØL-made-one-first-edition?p=26118#post26118
Particularly stacked with ketamine: http://niggasin.space/forum/better-living-through-chemistry/67-the-retarded-thread-fuck-§m£ÂgØL-made-one-first-edition?p=26478#post26478 -
2015-09-21 at 11:10 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
My crazy ass ex is telling me she's transgender and a man trapped in a woman's body LOL.
A gay man or a straight man? Because if it's the former tell her she's going to need to practice taking it up the ass.
Hmm, actually, imagine if you manipulated her by genuinely trying to seem like you wanted to help her decide whether this was what she really wanted, help her transition. You could suggest she meet with you in private and dress up as a man. Then, of course, that would lead to pretending to have gay sex.
Imagine how good the taboo would make the experience. Or at the very least it give you a hilarious memory for the rest of your life. -
2015-09-21 at 9 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionOh, Lanny, the go to new post option doesn't seem to work properly: www.niggasin.space/forum/better-living-through-chemistry/67-the-retarded-thread-fuck-§m£ÂgØL-made-one-first-edition?goto=newpost
Often it seems to simply bring you to the last post made. I would be pissed if I hasn't noticed it early on, makes people miss responses and important posts, posts directed towards them.
To add to questions I've asked you about your usage and experiences with your LSD analogues, have you tried taking a hot shower, or whatever type of shower you find most enjoyable/relaxing, while coming up? Well worth trying, it has a very positive effect in my experience, and there are multiple reasons for this. Don't want to explain all of them again. -
2015-09-21 at 7:55 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Incredible, it's even worse than I thought! Now it turns out the entire thing may have been orchestrated and he, possibly being driven by his father, had been baiting for this kind of reaction. Nearly every single time there's an incident about discrimination that receives widespread attention it turns out that there was much more to the story and things weren't as it seemed/as they were portrayed. Leftist propaganda has permeated, infected, modern culture and civilization to a horrific extent, and these are outcomes we're seeing. They're going to destroy themselves and they absolutely deserve it, it's just a shame they'll drag down others with them, good people who had nothing to do with it, some who even fought against it. -
2015-09-21 at 7:29 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionCaaaaaasper paaaay attentioooon to meeeee! Where are you? I can understand how you might feel, that although sometimes my writing may strike deep into your soul it never moves past simply being writing, ideas are never turned into actions, there's no movement towards greater closeness, no progression. Oh god I'm so fucked up and dysfunctional, you have no idea how much I fell apart, how many problems I have, my writing, which is only a fraction of its potential to begin with, doesn't come close to giving an accurate impression.
Anyway, I saw this and thought of you: Patients who start treatment for dependence on opioids are five times as likely to die in the first four weeks when they are prescribed the most commonly used treatment, methadone, than with an alternative treatment, buprenorphine, a study by researchers has found.
https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/3lqxwi/patients_who_start_treatment_for_dependence_on/
Oh god, you haven't lived up to your username, have you?! No, but really, I'm not sure if I showed this to you, but you should definitely read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ALKS-5461
One of the most promising antidepressants there is, its been fast tracked and may be available next year. Much more effective than others, particularly with regards to anhedonia, which has a massive impact on quality of life, along with lacking problems that could make doctors adverse to prescribing it. I've written about this before, I don't want to do it again, the main point is that buprenorphine is the #1 thing I would recommend you use, if possible. -
2015-09-21 at 5:43 PM UTC in What are you on?
My list is longer than most days. Crouton, T-PAIN, weed, alcohol, nicotine.
How often are you using weed? There have been some extremely worrying studies that found that cannabis usage raises the risk and severity of the development of schizophrenia manyfold. Unfortunately, IIRC, it doesn't seem that it's because they're more likely to self-medicate, some have controlled for that and still found a large effect. I'm not just trying to torment you on the recurrent schizophrenia theme, I'm not planning to ever use it again, except possibly for high CBD strains and sparingly at that. I wish I had never abused it, it ended up having a horrible effect on my mental health. I don't think I really realized how bad it had been until I stopped.
Have you ever tried high CBD strains or extracts, or even pure CBD? I'd highly recommend it. I may purchase this soon, if I can figure out whether the dosage is sufficient, taking into account any differences with sublingual administration: https://www.bluebrainboost.com/p/cannabidiol/
Here's a thread on it, it's very high quality, being whole spectrum with many other phytocannabinoids is a nice quality, and the price can't be beat AFAIK: https://www.reddit.com/r/Nootropics/comments/3lhf3m/how_reputable_is_bluebrainboost_i_really_want_to/ -
2015-09-21 at 5:27 PM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionHeavy internet usage is pretty prolific among white collar/desk workers. Particularly now with mobile internet and smartphones, which provide an alternative if they have strict policies on internet usage and monitor it. A lot of people on reddit, although facebook/twitter and other prole shit is probably more common (filthy commoners).
Sophie, can I start calling you sophia? The femimine version sounds more pleasant, and googling it led me to this, which makes it more fitting: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sophia_(wisdom) -
2015-09-21 at 3:37 AM UTC in Common denominator among totse/zoklet/NiS users.People can have perfect childhoods, good parents, and still turn out terribly. Genes matter a lot, there's very interesting information about this based on studies, and a lot of people are genetically/neurologically fucked up.
so I got really drunk and drove down the back alley and shot up the back of his garage with buckshot. He loved that garage. I think that episode ranks up there with the top three most idiotic things I have ever done.
This made me lol.
As for your step father, it reminded me of something related to something I recently sent Hydro that's very relevant.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella_effect
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/200906/do-parents-favor-natural-children-over-adopted-onesThe Cinderella effect is well substantiated in crime data. Children growing up in step families are about 40 times as likely to be abused and 140 times as likely to be murdered as children growing up with both natural parents (murder still being a low probability) .
The ugly side/reality of human nature, of biology and evolution. Humans are animals and should be treated as such. -
2015-09-21 at 2:38 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first editionImagine if in the future teleporters that could transfer humans were invented, but there was a serious debate, although not well known to the layperson, which should be expected, about whether the same life was preserved or it was simultaneous suicide and cloning/replication. But since the people that came out on the other end were for all intents and purposes the same, indistinguishable, particularly by the metrics that matter most, have the most emotional impact on the common man, and the vast majority couldn't grasp of follow the debate, eventually, after the safety concerns wore off due to it being new and people became tempted by the massive benefits, it simply became accepted and commonplace. Then years later it was somehow conclusively proven that people essentially had been dying en masse, what an incredibly shocking and traumatic realization it would have, a feeling of the blackest pit of uncertainty and despair slowly drawing on many. Then the questions people would be forced to confront about the nature of life, consciousness, and reality.
So I took some AL-LAD and smoked some weed right before the peak and by the time I put down my pipe I was like "well that was a mistake". Spent the following hour or so curled up on my bed watching spirited away, couldn't follow it at all of course but the visual progression was the only way I could perceive the passage of time. I had like a "meta" thought, like thinking about the nature of what I was feeling then but then I started thinking about thinking about what I was thinking so on to the point that I was thinking about the last thing I was thinking uncountably fast, it felt like perpetually falling upwards but swung back and forth between being terrifying and sublime. If I really focused I could process some small piece of information before I went to the next meta-frame so I could coordinate stumbling around a little bit but I would like get somewhere and have to just do this super-short planning process again.
Good shit.
I remember the first time I took shrooms I had an unstoppable surge of rapid thoughts, a constant stream of them. Afterward my brain had a very distinct worn out feeling I had never felt before that reminded me a lot of muscle soreness that can occur after intensive physical exercise, lifting weights.
What are your doses usually like? Are you being a pansy and using them gingerly? Any plans to experiment with high dose trips? I'm only joking, I certainly wouldn't fault you for apprehension since I understand what can occur and have rarely tripped due to my experiences having often been negative and being terrified of what my mind may be able to produce. Good idea to build experience and become fully familiar with the level experiences first, but my word can you get fascinating experiences at high level doses and with more potent substances. I'd love to read a detailed trip report by you to know what the experience is generally like for you.
http://www.shroomery.org/9067/What-do-the-different-trip-levels-Lvl-1-5-meanLevel 2
Bright colors, and visuals (i.e. things start to move and breathe), some 2 dimensional patterns become apparent upon shutting eyes. Confused or reminiscent thoughts. Change of short term memory leads to continual distractive thought patterns. Vast increase in creativity becomes apparent as the natural brain enhancement is bypassed. -
2015-09-21 at 1:59 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
See my problem?
I'd offer you advice, but I feel like you probably already know about everything I'd suggest and it would seem offensively simplistic. Alfa usb wireless adapter + yagi antenna and linux/wifislax (hella convenient)/kali to hack neighbor's connections? Free fast internet is the sweetest, I'll never pay as long as I can. Can you fix the headphones by opening them up and soldering?
Thoughts about the amount of problems in the world, things I can't find answers to and may never be able to, the things we have no (realistic) power to change, are a recurring theme that give me a feeling of being close to feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. It's the immense awareness that causes the unnatural severity of it, think of every subject that has been intensively studied, every field in universities, things that have had had so many books written about, PhD's writing dissertations, conducting studies/experiments, all trying to find solutions and discover new information.
I want to skip the journey and go straight to merging with artificial intelligence.Hey, where are you getting your poppy seeds?
The mother of your child is going through a crisis and you're trying to get high on poppy seeds. An absolute no good bum. You should see what I recommended she do to you, you'd either have a panic attack or burst out laughing. Hydro, I give you permission to share it with him. -
2015-09-21 at 1:05 AM UTC in The retarded thread: Fuck, §m£ÂgØL made one first edition
Tell me something about myself i don't know Malice i love being analyzed. You can even make me a questoniare and i'll fill it out all neatly for you, i'll promise not to lie.
I'm bored as fuck and posting Malice where the fuck you at.
Sorry bb, my body malfunctions. Unfortunately I get profound crashes in mental and physical energy, avolition (ability to use one's will), and drive, anhedonia and pleasure, which effect it. It's like a person that only exists at select hours of the day, and even then they're only partly there. Sad, really, if you imagine someone trying to have an IRL relationship with a person in that state, or it happening to a loved one. Not necessarily incurable, but we'll have to see how things progress.well I'm ok with small talk, but when it gets on a deeper level, like especially this girl I am seeing right now for example, she sits there and expects me to come up with conversational subjects after I have exhausted all the regular stuff like asking questions about her, and after a while I run out of shit to talk about, at least that she would care about. I mean, I could go on and on about drugs or current events or crime or if I am making fun of someone, especially to their face, but really, no one cares about that shit, and when I am expected to come up with witty conversation, I really just don't have it in me. She literally rolls her eyes at me if I talk about stuff in the news. No one really cares about the things that I care about, and vice versa, I don't care about their stupid shit either, but at least I try to fake my way through it for the sake of diplomacy and getting pussy
Fantastic book if you're interested in changing it. Much better than the impression it or the title may give, it's not pop-garbage, something you'd see recommended by Oprah or some charlatan or motivational speaker, at all: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X
One of the main pieces of advice is to get people to talk about themselves, most people love it when someone genuinely seems to take interest in their life and wants to hear them out, especially if they feel they haven't had anyone to be able to talk to about these things. Also makes it really easy for you because you don't really have to do much after priming them, setting everything up, which is great.I did go shopping at Target. It's so pleasent to be surrounded by midle class white folks when shopping
White people are the best. East Asians if you're introverted and like being left alone.I think I need to start reading more.
2-FMA, trust me, that's the reading man's drug. Massive improvement.