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Posts by Malice
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2017-07-26 at 1:24 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSI actually suspected this before, and particularly just as I was about to click on new posts.
You see what a wonderful data processing machine my brain is? Shame it drains all the joy and wonder out of life. There's hardly any novelty left. Well, I suppose aside from the world of the interpersonal, which I've neglected to an unimaginable extent.
RisiR, how do you think I would react after my first time having sex? How would it affect my life henceforth? It's at least a good opportunity for a joke. -
2017-07-26 at 1:17 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by RisiR † Tell me what you know about Tesla, Malice.
He had a fascinating and incredibly abnormal brain and mind.
It really is a shame that he, or someone astoundingly analogous to himself, wasn't born in our modern era and studied by neuroscientists. The findings and their implications would have been remarkable.
I suppose ultimately that's it. I don't exactly care about his life per se, although of course his remarkable achievement and elucidation of various aspects of the workings of his mind are what made this revelatory, it's his neurological makeup that matters to me, the crucial deviations.
I don't have a normal perception of others or even myself in general, though. Due to the problems of identity and consciousness, other factors, limitations, no one truly has a fully concrete or coherent sense of themselves, and this will sound strange due to the immensely egotistical and repetitive, consistent, presentation of myself I may produce via writing here, but I likely have an abnormally low sense of identity and individuality. Even stranger is that my sense of being separate from the environment is far weaker, when you would expect the inverse. In some forms it may be, but I doubt I've properly identified them or could explain what they are, albeit it isn't something I've given much effort to. It could primarily be a sense of detachment, where the profound view of separateness, of isolation and alienation, is mostly conceptual. As in, my body doesn't feel distinctly different from the environment or others, and I view others as similarly indistinct in a manner, but more as part of an underlying process that isn't naturally dwelled on at a conscious level. Like a cog that would be willing to blow up the entirety of the rest of the machine in order to survive, if only for a chance to determine whether there is any reason to survive. -
2017-07-26 at 12:26 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by RisiR † LOL.
You see what a grotesque horror the human existence is? Yet your lol reveals an alternate perception we all possess at times.
“The life of every individual, viewed as a whole and in general, and when only its most significant features are emphasized, is really a tragedy; but gone through in detail it has the character of a comedy.”
Wise old Schoppy, World as Will. -
2017-07-25 at 11:03 PM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSGod we're all so fucked up.
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2017-07-25 at 10:56 PM UTC in After betaBay, Hansa Market got murked the other day.
Originally posted by aldra I've not heard anything about it, but yeah, getting stuff through Australian customs is a nightmare. Generally I just buy domestic even if it is more expensive.
Isn't it insanely expensive? You don't seem like the kind of person that uses much or often, and wages are generally higher (although cost of living is as well), which offsets this.
I had forgotten for some time that you're in Australia. Seems strange, in a way.
Cheap meth, high purity and low dose, is incredible for productivity. Nothing beats 2-FMA for cognition focused tasks, though. What a terrible burden, to have tasted the gift of the tek gods, and understand the cost that would be borne if thou were unable to contain it. *looks at scronaldo and shudders at the thought of being trapped in his existence*
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-25T23:00:45.802580+00:00 -
2017-07-25 at 10:54 PM UTC in Drunken Debauchery and Summer Misery
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2017-07-25 at 8:15 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by cerakote and this shit right here beats it all:
"Anosognosia is a deficit of self-awareness, a condition in which a person with some disability seems unaware of its existence."
i was telling my dad about how its almost like i have some secret mental handicap that he never told me about and that only afflicts me. now i know the reason for all of this shit. closure feels good as fuck.
I have an idea for a short film project: Lanny is drugged with a GABA antagonist and then given a highly potent sativa strain. He is then spoken to by a hired actor suitable for the role who has recently befriended him and asked to come over to "hang out", under the guise that he is an assistant professor at a community college, giving him some authority, in a relevant field. During the course of conversation he manages to convince him that there is a very real chance he could be suffering from this condition and that the only way to be certain is to covertly record his social interactions, particularly group outings with friends, while he is unaware. After this is completed he will be forced to bear the excruciating fear and suffering that will arise from viewing the entire series of tapes, with highly critical and technical commentary analyzing all crucial moments chosen to be highlighted.
As he begins to enter a mental breakdown the truth about the project is revealed, but after the sequence a horrifying addendum is presented. As the false walls give rise to a padded cell with numerous television screens all playing footage interspersed within it the door is closed and he is told he will be trapped for an indeterminate period of time. Scene of mental monologue, anguish, then close.
Not really, this aspect of cerakote's posts was just kind of funny, in a way. There are bound to have been cases of people who never realized they clinically mentally retarded and then found out at a later age. God that would make for a great show. Really, imagine them sitting at home on their couches with their family, even friends and coworkers if you can get them, and seeing their reaction to this, as well as the fallout.
This is actually perfectly possible. Identifying these people could feasibly be done at an acceptable cost, and their bargaining power, the amount required for them to consent to the basic premise (They could simply be told they may have an undiagnosed "condition".), would be far lower than average, naturally. Even jediery (contractual jedi magic?), if you wanted to cut costs more, would be greatly facilitated. Oh, wait, their status as mentally retarded could fuck with this due to laws against taking advantage of the mentally impaired and whether they can truly consent. Well, let's ignore that.
What would be a good name for this show? Something simple like "Am I Retarded?" could work.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-25T08:22:28.674173+00:00 -
2017-07-25 at 8:02 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDShttps://www.reddit.com/r/watchpeopledie/comments/6md14g/old_looking_8_year_old_dies_of_herion_od/?st=j5ja8hmp&sh=e235cdca
"The person holding the camera is a Russian drug dealer, he supplied heroin and all other equipment. Then 8 year old kid overdoses on heroin and dies. The "cameraman", would take the tape and edit it. Then go to western multi-million dollar charities and show them tapes asking for medical aid and to start programs to help poor Russian boys. He would take the money and rip them off. He was caught though and no longer lives. According to Russian police he died from internal injuries "caused by repetative self-inflicting violent throws against the wall". Nobody was charged for his death, and few arresting officers were promoted due unrelated actions. But for any real Russian, it's obvious how he died." -commentary translatio Read more at https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f2f0e7a1ea#jt4kbBrfdR4L4hCv.99
Anonymous user from the liveleak video.
If true, damn, that's among the most cold blooded niggas you can find, short of historical figures.
But afterward I thought of what a great scheme this would be for generating revenue, in a creative sick and sadistic manner, great for that niche. Not that I would actually do it, though. Although, depending on the monetary benefit, there certainly is an emotion of temptation and appeal...Of course I wouldn't actually do it. -
2017-07-25 at 7:59 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by Lanny Also what about Sartre makes him autistic in your mind Malice? The dude was a public intellectual, surprisingly well liked for being astoundingly ugly, and was a real playa on the campus scene.
I wasn't even serious. Did you not catch that in my posts?
Originally posted by aldra The cycle of autism - being so autistic all you can ever talk about is autism, so you end up inflicting it upon anyone who engages with you
Ahaha, oh man. Alright, I'll stop, but still, there's a certain degenerate pleasure from this akin to what it feels like to fool children in a rather malevolent manner. Fooling Lanny has a certain charm to it.
I really did manage to set off a chain of autism. It's like watching beautiful virus you engineered spread before your eyes. -
2017-07-25 at 7:04 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSWell, I suppose I can't deny that I am socially and emotionally retarded, although environmental circumstances and personal disposition certainly played a part.
At what point does being neurotypical and awkward, which certainly isn't rare, delve into full blown social retardation?
Everyone is deficient in their own way, particularly in contrast to the ideal! Don't label me!
In fact, I am claiming that the term "retarded" is without coherent meaning in this sense, therefore it can never be applied to me. -
2017-07-25 at 6:58 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSIt's not retardation, it's deviation. Abnormal =/= retarded.
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2017-07-25 at 6:26 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSI wasn't even serious. Those are somewhat odd, yet minor, idiosyncrasies. I guess I was right about the neurological basis, though.
Actually, mouthing what people are saying to you seems a lot stranger than it initially appeared. -
2017-07-25 at 6:19 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
Originally posted by anra kill yourself
Suicide is vastly overrepresented among those with autism. Understanding the critical necessity of positive social relations for human well being, mental health, as well as the innate propensity due to various neurological factors, such as hyperglutamatergia, chronic neurological inflammation stemming from from the previous factor and its imbalance with GABA, abnormally low serotonin levels and abnormalities in this and other systems, even the chronic stress stemming from abnormalities in the amygdala. -
2017-07-25 at 6:11 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSWell, since you brought it up: Did you know that there's good evidence that Sartre had autism? I came across some pretty fascinating papers, which I was lead to from researching Wittgenstein and autism, possibly the philosopher for whom the strongest evidence is available. When viewed through this lens it provides a unique insight into his writing. It may be the case that the most prodigious philosophers would have scored substantially higher on metrics of autistic traits, which the Autism-Spectrum Quotient attempts to gauge. In a way the cognitive style of autism, along with the profound effects on the lives of individuals, such as alienation, isolation, chronic depression, severe interpersonal issues etc. may essentially cause certain manifestations of Asperger's to essentially be a philosophical "super power".
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-25T06:15:56.694110+00:00 -
2017-07-25 at 5:59 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSYou probably had an extremely minor stroke or aneurysm that caused apoptosis in a critical neurological region related to language, causing this very specific quirk due to how contained it was to the critical region that produces it, the extremely small and limited severity of the stroke-aneurysm.
It very well could worsen with time or be permanent. Even if not permanent, it could take years to recover. You're trapped in this horrifying existence until then. Yes, you could simply avoid them, which is bound to occur naturally, but this will simply lead to profound alterations in your speech patterns, which will be perceived as being very odd, as well as a persistent anxiety that will become associated with speaking in general, which, if the traumatic social events you experience are of sufficient severity, could lead to selective mutism, a phobia of speaking where you're practically unable to speak to others, or even anywhere you fear others can hear you, leading you to only mouth words or speak in a whisper even when at home and isolated.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-25T06:05:08.950406+00:00 -
2017-07-25 at 5:48 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSDecided to see if there might be a bit of cannabinoids in the ol' wooden pipe. There was.
Something that came to mind was whether there had ever been a book written specifically on the horror of "the other". Specifically referencing cognition and communication, the multitude of intrinsic factors that lead to effectively insurmountable barriers towards achieving full conveyance of meaning, as well as elucidating on the array of distortions produced and the chain of effects. Not written in an excessively technical manner, but on aspects that of particular practical importance to individuals in relation to their lives, in terms of what they value most that can be addressed by this.
Of course I don't believe it's a novel idea, it's bound to have been done, it simply seems interesting, and somewhat surreal, to view the perception of others in this regard through a worldview, the mind, that feels profoundly autistic in a sense. Cognitive-anthropophobic autism. An autistic fear of the minds of others.
"Mother of god, it's impossible to truly understand each other!" *proceeds to spend years as an absolute recluse from the autistic inability to cope* -
2017-07-25 at 4:43 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDS
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2017-07-25 at 4:38 AM UTC in Disgusting
Originally posted by Dargo Not extremely disgusting, but it's been in the news:
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=1ca_1500779366
Post last edited by Dargo at 2017-07-25T01:06:53.950521+00:00
Well, that was depressing.
Christ, it's amazing how uncaring and thoughtless she seems. And this is the reality of what the vast majority of the global population is like, at least in terms of cognition... -
2017-07-24 at 9:04 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSNah dude, I wasn't serious.
It's going to take a very long time for me to recover and develop enough, if it ever occurs at all, for friendships to even be a possibility. There are countless facets to this. Essentially you have to think of it as necessitating a prolonged and intensive therapeutic process.
I'm not sure I'll ever be able to properly convey just exactly what lead me to detach and isolate myself to such an extreme, inhuman, extent for so long. It isn't a bad thing, but even the people here, let alone normal people with fulfilling social lives, cannot imagine how I came to perceive the world.
I genuinely have profound anthropophobia, which is incredibly rare. I wasn't exaggerating when I stated that intimacy, in any form, is one of my greatest fears. There's a very real chance I'm never going to be able to connect to anyone or form real relationships, and explaining why is exceedingly difficult. It may be fine, I may be able to adapt and learn to accept being around others, derive enough of the innate need for companionship to be able to survive, even thrive, but it isn't the same. Something that has been developing over a lifetime and involves an array of advanced subjects, particularly for a period that is close to 15 years at this point.
The impression given online is completely inaccurate. To be perfectly honest, I can't even feel a proper emotional connection to animals at this point. It's almost akin to a form of severe depersonalization/derealization, or the most severe forms of autism where they just end up completely withdrawn into themselves and unresponsive to the world around them.
I don't know, it's probably been the profound lack of people, intimacy, and how closed off I've become after so long, particularly during such a critical period of development. I'm likely going to need intensive MDMA therapy sessions with the right person or people over a prolonged period to overcome this as much as I'm able to.
I completely understand the response to being held or wrapped tightly. It's actually common among those on the spectrum, which is why weighted blankets are a popular therapeutic accessory. The desire to sleep and snuggle with someone, or even an animal, as well. -
2017-07-24 at 7:57 AM UTC in The Retarded Thread: Click Here for AIDSDear god I should always keep some benzos on hand. The things that horrify me have absolutely nothing to do with mundane life, with what normal people fixate on. There are simply various aspects fund*amental to life itself, particularly in the form of human existence, that almost feel unbearable to fully ascertain and accept.
Instead I simply view anime to calm myself for some time until I can sufficiently remain occupied and distracted again.
Post last edited by Malice at 2017-07-24T07:59:47.477649+00:00