2016-07-01 at 1:42 PM UTC
Why can't people deal with that and understand it for what it is?
"Yeah man, when I lost my license I felt the same but you just have to man up".
:|
He's then telling me that he's going on vacation tomorrow :) .....
I'm honestly considering smashing his face in for that. He's a good guy, though.
FUCK other people.
2016-07-01 at 1:51 PM UTC
There's this traffic bridge. About 10 or 12m (30 foot?) high. There's just no chance to survive a fall into uncoming traffic while OD'ing on a Benzo/Opi/Alcohol combo.
That's the plan so far. And no, I don't give a shit about the people driving on the road. I'm over that.
2016-07-01 at 1:56 PM UTC
I have basically all the expenses for my funeral covered and I have already chosen a graveyard. It's a forrest where they burry your ash under a tree. It's cheap as shit and no mantainance hustle for my family.
Now I only have to get rid of feeling so guilty for causing my loved ones harm. An impossible task.
2016-07-01 at 2:01 PM UTC
I actually logged in on this website to tell you not to kill yourself based off the fact that you're not a degenerate like 99% of people. That should count for something -- actually logging in on this slow website is a pain in the fucking ass.
2016-07-01 at 2:02 PM UTC
I think about suicide every day. Sometimes I wanna make a thread asking help to get through it, but eh. Something good or interesting always comes around. Just play each day as it comes. You're gonna die eventually, you don't have to accelerate things. Just let nature take its course.
2016-07-01 at 2:12 PM UTC
Ajax
African Astronaut
[rumor the placative aphakia]
I also logged in just for you, you pig fucker. Mainly I was going to say you chose the wrong site if you're looking for encouragement to not kill yourself. But that's just their digital courage, so don't listen to that.
We've talked before, and I still don't know the root issue you have going on since this seems chronic. Just don't do it, k? You'll be missing out on a lot of stuff, even if the highlight of that stuff is a cold beer on a hot afternoon. Also, suicide is so... permanent.
You can do it. And by it, I mean not doing it.
2016-07-01 at 2:17 PM UTC
It's super weather outside. The time of the year to be happy. This is not right. I should find a way to enjoy myself.
2016-07-01 at 2:34 PM UTC
The root issue....
I think it's being aware of being an underachiever of epic proportions. "Potential" was hovering over my head for my whole life no matter what it came to. I was always a bit smarter and a lot more cocky than other people my age and the grown ups kinda liked that and told me that I'll surely become something great one day. I bullshitted my way through school and got a degree.
Then one of my closest friends died and I messed up with my love interest and did tons of meth and now I'm jobless, hopeless and broken. I've been trying for the past 4 years to get back on my feet but nah. It's just getting worse.
I'm also a perfectionist with body image issues.
2016-07-01 at 2:46 PM UTC
You sound a lot like me. Even with the close person dying thing.
Maybe don't judge success by society's standards. I don't know. That's the best advice I can give, beyond see a shrink.
I am a very needy person. I want everyone to like me. I say I hate women, but I just want to be loved by them. If I reject them first, then they can't reject me, and I have an excuse for the fact they don't talk to me.
I don't even mean I want to fuck them -- I just want to be accepted by them. It's why I don't even talk to girls on tinder, I just like it when they match with me. I actually had one initiate a convo with me yesterday, but I never replied. If I fuck that up, my ego will be crushed. I quit while I was ahead. Ridiculous, yeah? To anyone else, probably, but to me, it makes a whole lot of sense.
This girl at work who I'm going out with... I wish she'd talk to me more. She's acting like we're not even going out. Shouldn't I be happy with the fact that she at least said yes? (twice!) I've just noticed she's talked to me way more before I asked her out than after. What the fuck?
I say I hate her for it... but I don't know. It would be nice to be a celebrity, and everyone I met loved me.
2016-07-01 at 3:03 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
Lotta trolls up in dis tred.
2016-07-01 at 5:10 PM UTC
Yes, I have thought about it many times. I'd even like to leave the EU and go to South America. Preferably Uruguay because of their weed business and German genes.
I'm pretty close to my dysfunctional family, though. My parents aren't in the best conditions and my siblings are too weak themselves to care for them. My mom means the entire world to me and I just know that when I leave, she's fucked.
It's the same reason I haven't killed myself years ago. Someone has to keep this shit together or the people who mean the most to me suffer. I'm not down with that.
2016-07-01 at 5:16 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
Sounds like cries for attention. Grow up.
2016-07-01 at 5:21 PM UTC
Enter, I think that girl really likes you and is nervous because of the date. She doesn't want to mess up and be awkward around you so she avoids contact. That's how it sounds to me.
Smile at her, make eye contact, show her that you are happy about her interest. Boost her confidence. You already took the first step, maybe it needs another one. Just don't ever fucking start running. Haha.
I feel you one hundo on this shit, though.
I have only ever be rejected once and it was like in a movie no shit. I'll post this now so it doesn't get messed up.
