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writing myself a eulogy for whenever i die

  1. #1
    i was in group therapy the other day and this dude was talking about how his father recently died and so he had to write the eulogy. it was difficult for him because his dad was a coke dealing POS pimp basically and he recommended to everyone that maybe they write down some stuff they would want said about them at their funeral just in case they kick the bucket unexpectedly so it got me thinking. if i had a massive seizure and died right now whoever wrote my eulogy would probably say a bunch of retarded shit that wasn't even true.

    so basically i am going to write a long ass eulogy about how im edgy and my life sucks but i partied super hard and did scummy shit but i hated myself for it later at least. then i'm going to write about how humanity should die out and try to make everyone cringe and be depressed. motherfuckers never really cared about me anyways so why should my funeral be comfortable for them
  2. #2
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    damn dude...
    well at least you're being honest. I've always figured no one would come to my funeral depending on how long I lived but yeah If I was a ghost at my own funeral I probably wouldn't enjoy it unless there were actually people I loved were there. I'm not even sure If I'd want a funeral to be honest. I've only been to one before one of my cousins and It was awful. Sure It sucks that my cousin died, and i felt bad for his mom. But everyone there was so fake. I had to see my brother and seeing my dad cry was a little embarrassing. One of my other cousins I hadn't seen in over a decade grabbed onto me and started crying, she was like in the fakest voice ever "omg Doug this wasn't supposed to happen!" and then the minister was like "this was supposed to happen..."

    good luck w that
  3. #3
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby damn dude…
    well at least you're being honest. I've always figured no one would come to my funeral depending on how long I lived but yeah If I was a ghost at my own funeral I probably wouldn't enjoy it unless there were actually people I loved were there. I'm not even sure If I'd want a funeral to be honest. I've only been to one before one of my cousins and It was awful. Sure It sucks that my cousin died, and i felt bad for his mom. But everyone there was so fake. I had to see my brother and seeing my dad cry was a little embarrassing. One of my other cousins I hadn't seen in over a decade grabbed onto me and started crying, she was like in the fakest voice ever "omg Doug this wasn't supposed to happen!" and then the minister was like "this was supposed to happen…"

    good luck w that

    lmao, all part of god's plan
  4. #4
    Thotgirl African Astronaut
    I'm just gonna write goodbye or something artsy fartsy
  5. #5
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Bill Krozby damn dude…
    well at least you're being honest. I've always figured no one would come to my funeral depending on how long I lived but yeah If I was a ghost at my own funeral I probably wouldn't enjoy it unless there were actually people I loved were there. I'm not even sure If I'd want a funeral to be honest. I've only been to one before one of my cousins and It was awful. Sure It sucks that my cousin died, and i felt bad for his mom. But everyone there was so fake. I had to see my brother and seeing my dad cry was a little embarrassing. One of my other cousins I hadn't seen in over a decade grabbed onto me and started crying, she was like in the fakest voice ever "omg Doug this wasn't supposed to happen!" and then the minister was like "this was supposed to happen…"

    good luck w that

    hello sociopath. How many lies have you told today?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #6
    Thotgirl African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung hello sociopath. How many lies have you told today?

    Nani?
  7. #7
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Thotgirl Nani?

    lanny?👍
  8. #8
    Thotgirl African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung lanny?👍

    Nope
  9. #9
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    leave a sealed letter with your solicitor to be read to your family in case of your death:

    "NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER etc"
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #10
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Thotgirl Nope

    be mine forever?👍❤
  11. #11
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by aldra leave a sealed letter with your solicitor to be read to your family in case of your death:

    "NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER etc"

    aldra, If you could legally own niggers for slaves, would you do so?👍
  12. #12
    Thotgirl African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung be mine forever?👍❤

    Maybe? Dont you got a girl...?!
  13. #13
    WellHung Black Hole
    Yea. But I want you too. Your pics are delicious, but I fell in love with your personality.
  14. #14
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by WellHung aldra, If you could legally own niggers for slaves, would you do so?👍

    slavery is no longer economical in the age of petrol engines and automation.

    though no, even if it was
  15. #15
    Originally posted by aldra leave a sealed letter with your solicitor to be read to your family in case of your death:

    "NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER etc"

    lmao, it's just like 20,000 pages of Bill Krozby's dick
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