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Jenisser part 2
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2016-08-21 at 8:11 AM UTC
My cat shoved me a man-made crystal several months after what happened to jenniser. I brought it
over to the location where I found her, after having several shots of whiskey and an oxycodone. I sat there
until the sun started to set.
I didn't really see much with the crystal except a few ghost of a bullet pass by, or rods, what ever they were.
I saw a mother walk up with her young son, probably 3 years old, and lay down on the grass yards away from me, then I saw
a tall hue sway slowly and then gently lay down next to the woman and her child. I'm guessing it was either the childs
sibling or father.
I layed down there and watched it for a while and then I saw several shadows surround the hue laying around the mother and child
and the hue walked off with the shadows.
I left after that because I think something else happened to Jenniser that wasn't so cut and dry. Or maybe it just takes a while to be ushered off.
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2016-08-21 at 11:34 AM UTCDogshit.
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2016-08-21 at 7:52 PM UTC^yeah thats not what your mutta said last night when I read it to her in bed.
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2016-08-22 at 2:04 PM UTCThe universe hates you. I was just typing a post explaining to you why I would never consider writing a fair critique of this garbage but then my phone went into "fuck you, charge me"-mode and yeah.
Summary:
Wack ass shit first sentence.
Bad bad "cliff hanger" because part 1 didn't end with any sort of tension and didn't make me, the reader, interested in finding out what happened/is about to happen to the characters.
If your idea of character is to write that the bitch did an oxy and a shot, I'll slap the shit out of you and honestly, it speaks volumes about your view of women in general.
You will never accomplish anything as a writer. Stop insulting the craft and never touch a keyboard again you barely literate mongoloid. -
2016-08-22 at 6:40 PM UTCLol quit white knighting you loser, plenty of women are drug addicts, just talk to "hydromorphone".. Just because I chose to touch on real human issues, you become a piss pant instantly. And my style of writing isn't Stephen king or dean koontz. I'm more on par with Bukowski or Jay Randall. You plebe.
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2016-08-22 at 7:17 PM UTC
Lol quit white knighting you loser, plenty of women are drug addicts, just talk to "hydromorphone".. Just because I chose to touch on real human issues, you become a piss pant instantly. And my style of writing isn't Stephen king or dean koontz. I'm more on par with Bukowski or Jay Randall. You plebe.
[greentext]>on par with Bukowski or Jay Randall[/greentext]
Sounds legit. -
2016-08-23 at 2:06 AM UTCthat was a real Zongo of a story bruhloni sandwich.
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2016-08-23 at 8:45 AM UTCI was the one who told you to add reasonable characteristics to your character and all you do is making her a drug slut. With a sloppy half assed sentence. Weak. I don't give a fuck about women. The naked chick in your first story. Did she just, like, walk home and chill after seeing her friend's gruesome murder until her cat shoved her a magic crystal?
"touch on real human issues"
Are you retarded?
Yes, absolutely. 100%. You are definitely on par with Bukowski, no question....